dr_pepper by mmda
dr_pepper: recently unexpectedly found a gift under his door with a note
dr_pepper: the signature in the note was great - "Your TP"
Dr. Pepper: Okay, I was going on. He immediately signed off to his second half to stop further battles.
dr_pepper: in general, I sent her a message with the words "I got some silly p*da gift here"
dr_pepper: what I got the answer "TP IS THE SECRET WITHER!!"And I will be offended for 3 days.

I periodically incite my wife on the subject of a combination of devotion and superstition in her relatives. And today she went out with the children to the country, leaving me with such a cleanup at home (now I am still on vacation). I sit in the inette for several hours trying to gather my forces. And then her grandmother comes in and says to me literally: “You look today, don’t clean up, or you can’t, when someone has gone to clean up!” I was ready to cross her, Cheslaw! and ;)

My nephew is 17 years old. We have a family council where to go.
Sister (humanitarian): we want to go to honey, what specialty, you know, like in a movie, when they bring the sick on a catwalk, and the doctor jumps from the top and pumps it. Where to go?
Grandma (psychiatrist, dark): I think in GITIS

zzz: I love this red color of the sky over the Oil Plant at sunset.
After all, if I had seen the red sky over the Oil Plant at another time of the day, I would have fled to the basement.

A girl colleague tells about the fate of strong alcoholic beverages in her family. say, they are constantly from somewhere themselves in the house - then someone will give, then from work, then friends will bring.

OK, vodka, it stands for itself and stands. Whiskey is gone!
YYY: How does it disappear? Whiskey, why is it missing?! to
Well, I don’t know, I’ve come to Omsk – I’m back, and the whiskey is gone.
YYY :?? to
XX: Well, there is no more of it.

The fucking dogs with their dogs. Once long ago I went to Arkansas listening to Alice’s fresh album. And how many years have passed, but until now, when I hear any song from that album, I want to scroll the arcanum again.

xxx: Opera - a brake browser
xxx: now reviewed the Lord of the Rings online and closed the opera without reviewing
xxx: ten minutes later, he was almost mad when the warring orcs were ringing in his headphones.

by eilin_o_connor
Mother, looking into the room, strictly orders:
Go to sleep, my dog.
When I came across, I blamed myself that it was too early to sleep. Immediately, it is explained that the mother was turning to her dog, who is cuddling and cuddling under the table.
- This is how you raise a child, you love it, and he still automatically accepts the treatment of the scotch at his own expense, - the mother breathes.
What a child! The father immediately answered from the couch. I just exhaled myself.

XXX: In pornography, women also spend more screen time. And the camera shows them more and more. Does it undermine masculinity?

yyy: Well... there is a special porn, where in general some men show :)) There is muscularity - at least remove it :))

<...> Production was lost, skills and skills were lost. The missiles are falling. There are theological departments everywhere.
The West had to live in this style for another 10 years, and nothing would be left of Russia with its brilliant managers.
=========
You have not yet reached a mem of the type "Plan for the collapse of Russia"?
It is very short: "1. Wait for it"

XXX is Welcome. Already in the ECB? Study has begun? and ;)

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

XXX: What are the new items? and ;)

YYY:That is all by specialty + philosophy

I have also added philosophy.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY The table smells.

XXX: O_o
I have a girl with a beard ;)

Why does Russia have no future?

Roskomnadzor has blocked the website of the leading manufacturer of chemical reagents, standard samples and scientific equipment - Sigma-Aldrich.
They found the names of drugs there!

The science? In Russia? It is funny!

The friendship of peoples has won! I saw in the parking lot of Ashan a Negro and a Uzbek who were in Russian (and quite clean!) Talk about life and the unfair boss O_o

Russia disconnected from Swift and connected to Kafka

How did people with German cars on which the inscription in the style of "Berlin" appears to have passed the psychotherapist?

I sincerely hope that the grandmothers of the new generation will understand that they are not free babysitters, neither cookers nor servants. You finished breastfeeding for more than forty years ago, stop hanging on the mummy's fingers of eighty kilograms of giraffe! Stop being ashamed, coming all the taboo to the PENSIONER to eat from him (your grandmother of the old hardened years were bullied that we are not coming from a hungry Volga, but from another area of the city, where exactly the same shops), still catching with them packs of undernourished and silently wrapped in the pocket money! Yes, there will be grievances, but teach the grandmother to the thought that to pay attention to her is when children and grandchildren do something for her, and not when they see a feeding money-produced nipple in her up to a hundred years!
Are you throwing your children’s grandmother? Tell her "thank you" and make her more gifts on unnecessarily saved babysitter money, and don't get in the position "Let her cook like a restaurant, or we don't bring it!"

I go somewhere for my business. I walk by car school. There is a small crowd in front of the entrance, everyone is excited, smoking. Exam: A blond woman stands out in the background. It is believed that a pink mini-scooter, a shirt, huge dark glasses, heels of 15 cm. Well ordinary. She has a few more tattoos. I approach closer - she has on her right hand with a pen written "Right", and on the left "Left". And on the feet. "Right" and "Left" A little below the shirt, and up the legs to sit more comfortable to read. There was something else written on her right foot, but she wiped out.
Give it, I think. was prepared.

My uncle came to me to repair the home. I am standing in the corridor (the desire to give, lighting and all that). During the process his phone is ringing. I can’t hear his voice, but he speaks:
I listen to!
–...
Yes, I’m here now, I clean up.
–...
It was on the object. I cannot help them with anything.
–...
Why is? Why the fucking?! Because the house is destroyed!

He puts the telephone, puts the homephone on.

The cat passes (somewhat more often to the left than to the right)

----------------

The cat knows more about the song than the story ;)

I just once with a cat in the backpack to the Dominican Republic did not fly :P I sat there quietly, and I go and think that the backpack was heavy??!! It was discovered in time and sent home with the accompanying...