bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №83365
 26.06.2013
This is:
This is where the shit had to go so that the road indicator showed both Moscow and Khabarovsk in one direction.
— — —
Have you tried the map of Russia? Vladivostok is plunging.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №83364
 26.06.2013
xxx: Prep in the universe told that a group of freelancers in our town wrote 2 terabytes of pure code
I know where to look for the architect of the matrix.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №83363
 26.06.2013
I want to marry and feed a man.
I: Or I’m feeding myself and soon I’ll be fat.
Somebody: Let's get married
Somebody: Just feed me
I: No, without love I can’t feed, sorry
Somebody: Love to feed me
I: It’s not that.
Somebody: My stomach is broken
I : )

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №83362
 26.06.2013
And the Negroes in America held black parades too because they advertised blackness and wanted your children to become Negroes, not because they wanted equal rights.

As you subtly called all the blacks now... ?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №83361
 26.06.2013
I went to the MFC today. This is the place where passports are issued, registrations, certificates, etc. Ten windows with uncles of different ages. There is no one besides me and my wife. He submits a passport and this dialogue arises:
D: Take it all off and pull it out.
M: Oh... in the sense?
With the passport...
M: Aaaah, well, what kind of order do you have here.
After 5 seconds, a slight hichikanie of the tetanus turned into a frank rust. Even the boss came :)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №83360
 26.06.2013
Received a commercial offer on warehouse services in Moscow:
"...On the warehouse work only citizens of Moscow, Europeans with technical education..."
I thought about Moscow citizenship.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №83359
 26.06.2013
Our boss is such a girl.
Once again, he comes to the office and is surprised that everyone is working (and the accounting and personnel and the controller).
still would. You will not confuse his ashes with anything. As long as he wraps to the office building, parks, climbs to the second floor, we will not only drink tea, we will wrap catalogues with cosmetics, but we will also run for comps for a walk :)

I love my job.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83358
 26.06.2013
XXX is great. Hey to! Ha ha ha ha! Is that what is in your head?! to
A new haircut.
What is the name of this hairdressing masterpiece?
yyy: "Dear, I will do everything beautifully. Or do you not trust me at all?and "

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №83357
 26.06.2013
shumer> It’s all fake, the imperfection of technology. And I still believe that I will live up to the giant modified peppers, rapidly ripening under our dim northern sun. Everything reasonable is true, everything real is reasonable. and :)
The main thing is not to be afraid when the sirene Umka knocks a clove at the window on the 3rd floor and says, "Master, you were told to plant the pepper here half an hour ago, so it was sleeping. Tell him to go to you".

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №83356
 26.06.2013
Here is this:

Our boss is such a girl.
Once again, he comes to the office and is surprised that everyone is working (and the accounting and personnel and the controller).
still would. You will not confuse his ashes with anything. As long as he wraps to the office building, parks, climbs to the second floor, we will not only drink tea, we will wrap catalogues with cosmetics, but we will also run for comps for a walk :)

I love my job.

Thank you so much, I'll be quieter on my ashes =)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №83355
 26.06.2013
In the course of the case, there has already been a need to add the button "What does this quote here do?!" to the existing...

The cat, the shredder, the admin.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83354
 26.06.2013
In Crimea, a tax is introduced on the collection of mushrooms, berries, medicinal plants and for walks in the forest. The corresponding resolution was adopted by the deputies of the Supreme Soviet of the Autonomous Republic of Crimea on June 21, 2013.

The feudalism of Yopt.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83353
 25.06.2013
I ate sushi today.
Satan: and now I read Wikipedia, and it is written that there can be all sorts of worm parasites in the land.
Satan: the eye
Department of Procurement: No
Read about Shaurma and calm down.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №83352
 25.06.2013
Comments on “Onishenko advises because of the heat to come to work at 6 am”:

xxx: In shock from him, at 2.45 I came to work, sorry that I don't walk his paths

YYY: The wife asks her husband who is going to work at 3 p.m. - Are you cute? and my husband is at work family, I will come at night... Men are super hollow for masses!!!! to

zzz: No, Onishchenko cannot be fired, he is the embodiment of the whole system. Like Zhirinovsky, but unlike Zhirinovsky, he sincerely believes in what he says.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №83351
 25.06.2013
I cooked the borsch, poured it into a plate and posted it on Instagram. Eat, joke and the result also scotted and put out. Did I do everything right? Am I fashionable and modern?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №83350
 25.06.2013
A pension of 7 thousand, a single in Khrushchev, an old wife, unemployed alcoholic children, a broken "Moskvich", a plot near the swamp 200 km from the city - what else is needed to peacefully meet old age.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №83349
 25.06.2013
I work. I sit at the window. In the breeze house opposite, a cute girl on the balcony puts flowers. Idilla... only she walks without pants, and from here you can see the beauty beneath the belt. Is that how to work now?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №83348
 25.06.2013
I live outside the city, 3G internet, no other. Beauty: on the street lightning fucking, thunderstorms, electricity yoke. And immediately Internet speed to 14 megabits - a jump! and :)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №83347
 25.06.2013
If you take into account the dislike for pork and the love for building destruction, then al-Qaeda is the prototype of Angry Birds.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №83346
 25.06.2013
I asked my older son to squeeze the table. My father started 2 weeks ago and, as usual, there’s no time. I warn you to be more careful, it flies in the eye. Okay says, disappears in his room and after half a minute appears - in cowards, with a drill and in the mask of Darth Vader.

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