bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113913
 25.05.2015
Lovers of stories in the style of “The West wants to destroy Russia, so it has imposed sanctions.”
shit to Russia. But let’s assume that the West really wants to destroy Russia.

Then it should be understood that he successfully destroyed it in the previous regime. Russia bought oil from the West in exchange. Production was lost, skills and skills were lost. The missiles are falling. There are theological departments everywhere.

The West had to live in this style for another 10 years, and nothing would be left of Russia with its brilliant managers.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №113912
 25.05.2015
People suffering from flying cats. Put a fishing net on the window!! It can’t be seen, but it can even withstand the labrador, checked! You kill a few nails, blur the edge of the grid more simply - and you do not suffer from falling cats and children anymore. Do it, you will not regret!
Please miss it! Maybe it will save at least one life!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113911
 25.05.2015
Denys Bigus
The furry cat came out to play with gravity from the balcony on the 9th floor. Increasing its cost on the front of the latchets and replacement work. Thank you for not the neighbor’s pass and not the occasionally parked Lacettie Lincoln.
I suspect that the passport is okay. There is no brain, no shock.
by APD. "Rise in capitalization in the fall of the asset"

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №113910
 25.05.2015
>>>I heard today that puer is a mushroom, grows in the soil, and you need to check if it is fresh. This is a tea that has been broken a few decades ago. :)

Only yesterday I spoke with a man who works as a tour guide in Sol-Iletsk, he tells: a crowd of people came from the center of Russia and asks, and on which trees are peppers growing. As a result, people fell down and paid for an excursion to the pepperfield.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113909
 25.05.2015
daughter 5 years. We read the letter. We came to the word "sheep". Who is it? I ask.
The answer is "I don’t know".
Trying to explain, I tell you that this is the wife of the bear. The daughter, listening, adds: "And there are also unmarried lambs!"
Do not argue, there are

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №113908
 25.05.2015
Where are these young people taught their specialties? Sitting such a frightened girl, the nose of sparkles does not raise and whisper: "But if you wanted to change the profession, who would you become?" I have 20 years of experience as an accountant, and who would I like to become??? Change of job??? And she insists. I say I would like to be a secret agent, a test pilot, or a stripper. Since I’m 50, I’m thin and sharp, my dreams are very stubborn. What a question, that is the answer. © NHS

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №113907
 25.05.2015
A teacher from Moscow regularly writes to me about a student, the type of my son. Then he did not wear a swing, then the skies did not bring, then the money did not give - I started to worry about the child. You wrote the wrong address, hopefully the information will reach the address.
Then the letter came again. I write - Why do you bother me with other people's problems? I can start solving them.
She gave me her address and I will write to her.
Although I’m already accustomed to them, sometimes I even want to ask: "How is Pavluška? Do you have to go on skiing?"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113906
 25.05.2015
When I was caesarean, the doctor said, “Don’t breathe, you are disturbing us!”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113905
 25.05.2015
Hello, I am Lena, I love Romance.
Hey, I am Roma, I can offer a romantic tick.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №113904
 25.05.2015
Remember who won Eurovision last year?

Noah, this joke is already with a beard.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №113903
 25.05.2015
Visiting her
We don’t drive with children (with any
because the house is shattered and
Food will be inexpensive.
-----------

Are you going to dinner with your grandmother? My grandmother is also a hostess. There was a storm at home, chaos in the kitchen. But it is unimaginable. And we loved to be with her, and our children now. To do general cleaning and cook food while the grandmother entertains the baby, we are happy. Well, the child will pull the dust jacket from under the couch, well what? Adults need to explain what to do with such artifacts. And teaching children that guests are a bitch – why? My grandmother is not associated with catering, but with fun and games. Because we love her like this... well that... a, remembered: we love.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113902
 25.05.2015
My son is 1 year and 9 months old:
Fedea pulls a cat into the room by the tail and reads a poem with expression: she cries in the corridor, she has great sorrow.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113901
 25.05.2015
What is an amorphous body?
YYY: This is me in the morning.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113900
 25.05.2015
The new slogan: LinkedIn is messy business contacts.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №113899
 25.05.2015
I walk through the street and imagine that I am a car. I chew myself under my nose quietly bzhzhzhzhm (the second), wzhzhzhzh (the third)... wzhzhzhzh, and now the spontaneous machine - wzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzhzh. Turning around the corner of the house, I looked if anyone could see this idiotism and depicted the turner with one eye. Having managed to shake over myself, right behind the corner I stand with a look in the graffiti on the house with the signature "eternally young", shake again.
Olive, 33 years old :D

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113898
 25.05.2015
Decorsys: I dreamed that the hockey players of the Russian national team took second place at Eurovision, losing to Justin Bieber.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113897
 25.05.2015
A little about me and my cooking:
Let’s make an agreement: will you say it’s delicious, and I won’t make you eat?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №113896
 25.05.2015
“Well, they were swimming,” as Gerasim liked to say.
He was Nemo.
That is Masai.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113895
 25.05.2015
There is so much joke about the fact that men distinguish many shades of grey by dealing with socks. In fact, here the approach is more profound and technical in nature. You need to assess size, shape, wear, flexibility, smell and a dozen other implicit features that allow you to sort socks by pairs.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113894
 25.05.2015
I also played the game as a child, called my younger brother. At the initial levels, you perform small repetitive quests, work with the controller from the TV. From the armor only what gives a brother, who is higher in the levy, but there is a bonus, if you rush to the orcs then you can call the brother and defeat the evil, but the anger you do not get.

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