bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №113773
 22.05.2015
I got a fat cookbook from my grandmother, and she got it from her grandmother, and so on. It is old-old, it is almost impossible to read to an unconsecrated person: the text with gaps and familiar letters rarely blows. But there is everything in it: from how to baked the whole swallow, to a drink for male power. Obviously I can’t reproduce the recipes entirely, but I’m trying very hard. Therefore, if the recipe says to talk to bread, I will talk to it! Did you understand, Sasha? I am not a witch.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113772
 22.05.2015
Does a man get married when he is truly in love?
and no. When it gets tired.
and A-A When he falls in love, he gets a mistress. Yes is?
and no. He has a mistress for the same reason.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113771
 22.05.2015
Is something wrong with a man just because his point of view does not coincide with yours? The heh.
I have bad news for you, something is wrong with you.

– – – – –

You confuse or exaggerate.
There is a "point of view" that naturally may not coincide, but is a scientific fact.
So, if the scientific fact does not coincide with the point of view of a person - with a person, something is wrong.
And yes, safety is a basic human need. This is a scientific fact, not an opinion.

With dark demons trying to turn facts into points of view, it is increasingly difficult to fight - they are actively producing.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №113770
 22.05.2015
About bed and betrayal:
My lover and I discussed our approach to this issue at the beginning of our relationship. For him and me, betrayal is the end of a relationship. This is simply unacceptable for us. Trust is then impossible to return, and to live together, constantly suspecting recurrences - it is necessary. If you have changed (a) - you do not respect your other half, and without respect - it is not a relationship. And about sex - in almost seven years, we learned to satisfy each other in bed, that the legs of each other then climb for an hour, but it wasn't so at first, but we tried for each other, and we continue to try. Even if we leave all this romantic type of love, trust and attachment, it would be unrealistic for us to get such pleasure with someone else right away. And do not, please, words such as "may he and deceive, and you, naive, neither dream nor spirit. And I am not cheating. There is something like this in the world, imagine.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №113769
 22.05.2015
A: Saiga is a hunting carabin. It is available in three caliber modifications.
E: Smoothness does not mean hunting. The hunters do not complain.
A is OK. Arms of the partisans. It was specially developed for combat operations in the conditions of Russian swamps. The smooth trunk of the carabine allows you to quickly clean the trunk from leaches and strawberries.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113768
 22.05.2015
I don’t need girls at all. Neither my money nor my help is anything.
I am not interested in them as a person.
This is how I have it (

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113767
 22.05.2015
to this
I understood why no one has seen little pigeons. They are just the same pigeons, they were once created and they fly.

I saw, they are terrible. They sit in the nest until they become large (two pieces in the nest).

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113766
 22.05.2015
Fuck you people! Do you think the same as you write? Coryavo, with mistakes, confusing falls and slopes? And what kind of letter is needed here, we are not on the dictionary. And I will think and do the same, because the assessments do not show...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113765
 22.05.2015
The Ukrainian chat:
xxx:...and blocked the entrance to the Rada, demanding to fix the rate on previously taken dollar loans in the amount of 5 hryvnia per dollar.
Or maybe 60 copies?
Zzzz: This is Communist propaganda!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №113764
 22.05.2015
(She was riding on rolls, and between her legs she carried the wheel from which she was holding, if the cat was interested)
-
It’s genius... this is how to learn... and you hold on to something and on the rolls one... I’ll go and buy a selfie...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113763
 22.05.2015
Updated the program, I read the list of updates, in the "Fixing errors" column I read:
"A lot of old mistakes have been corrected"
"Many new errors have been added".
I haven’t seen such an honest one before.)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113762
 22.05.2015
Who makes the roulette of you?
YYY: Director General
When the orders are broken

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113761
 22.05.2015
Comments from one project:
and Magic!
Miracles do not happen. The bag.
The idiot? Two days before the release. by FICHA!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113760
 22.05.2015
News title: "The Pentagon’s Secret Space Shuttle has entered orbit"

The secret. and ah.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113759
 22.05.2015
xxx: I am in shock at the yogurt drinks, what a cover is there. Hands sildenafil, already reduced, bottle smooth, yogurt in the foam! But the cover doesn’t go anyway...
XXX: This is how to lose weight. There is no such problem with cookies. I took and put it in my mouth.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №113758
 22.05.2015
xxx: under the heading "Time for holidays" hidden discounts on tickets to Novokuznetsk and Novy Urengoy

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113757
 22.05.2015
I suggest to do a survey - who sleeps with the husband and not with the children? relevant to me now.
We are perverse. We go to bed together and wake up with the younger.
A lot of options. I sleep with children (or with one younger), I wake up with my husband or daughter or younger, I can with a cat, I can alone. Every day a different combination.
I woke up with a rat today.
With my husband and the child. I’ll remove my chest, I’ll remove.
Who would you take out of your chest?! to

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113756
 22.05.2015
The real man is not the one who can feed everyone, but the one who can feed everyone.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113755
 22.05.2015
Service in Switzerland

Once I discussed cooperation with one Swiss firm, which is engaged in technical support for large and important customers, mostly banks. Customers of the firm only in Switzerland and Germany, so technical support is carried out exclusively in German, but since the banks are international, then in the mode 7/24. In other words, a hotline call can be made during the day and at night. And at night, of course, normal people sleep. To introduce night shifts for engineers is to break them all their lives. How to? very simple. The boys took the globe, and looked where day was at the time when in Germany and Switzerland it was night. Right in Australia. Here they opened the second tech support center in Australia, in Melbourne. And from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. the calls are answered and measures taken by the day shift in Zurich, and from 8 p.m. to 8 p.m. - in Melbourne.

I immediately asked the question - and where did they find in Australia specialists able to provide high-quality technical support, and also in good German. They looked at me astonished, how could I have thought so. Of course, all the engineers in Australia are Swiss, who go there on a three-month business trip. Upon arrival, they are given a week to acclimatize, after which they work their watch in daylight. And in 3 months - home to Zurich, and they are replaced by the next brigade.

The next question was – are the Australians in the state at all there? They are, they answer. The guards, the cleaners, the buffets... Didn’t, I ask you, a single famous Australian engineer have been found? Why is it, they say. I found. one one. But because he did not speak good German, he was not suitable for technical support, and he was taken to Zurich, and he is now working among developers.

This is an outsourcing in Swiss. They could not even think of any India or Russia... And it’s not just about the language.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №113754
 22.05.2015
Judging by the goods sold in the offices of the Russian Post, they sell there everything they find in the consignments.

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