bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128699
 28.05.2016
I: But in fact, I have the feeling that I can faint.
A: My colleague warned me. Say, “Warner, if I fall into fainting, water water so that the shirt does not shine through the shirt!”

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128698
 28.05.2016
SMS from my husband (m):
Go home and sing.
I don’t know if I’m fat or hungry.
Fat and hungry, go home and sing.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128697
 28.05.2016
- Mikhail Yuryevich, can you ask for an advance of 1500 until Tuesday?
Yesterday, cats came to my room where I fed them and brought a rat the size of a palm. Toli wanted to feed me, Toli hinted that I was the next if I didn’t buy normal food.

[ + 21 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128696
 28.05.2016
School education alone does not help much. Here the Germans - for three hundred years scratched for the slightest province with sticks, then added concentration camps (initially they were just engaged in tuna eaters) - and as a result, corruption they have quite a little. We tried to accelerate this path by Stalin. And what if all this is repeated now (and as practice has shown, Stalin’s repressions proved to be small) – will many be delighted? So guess what is better – an eternal mess, or break a third of the population, and all the others constantly nightmarish. And the third option to build a society of order - so far found only in books...
– is
For some reason, everyone always takes the example of either Germany or the USSR (and, precisely, the Stalin era). Do you really think these are the only government systems that deserve respect?
Go to Finland. Or in Norway.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №128695
 28.05.2016
Take a regular 30-gram piece of bread and think: to burn all the calories in this piece, you have to walk three kilometers.

///////////////////////////////

Or sitting down to play guitar for 2 hours)) Or 40 minutes. of active sex.
Two pieces of bread a day will bring so much color into your life!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №128694
 28.05.2016
Dialogue in the cinema at Warcraft's premiere:
- Something everyone is silent, maybe we shout "For the Horde!"?
So what, is there more people here for the Alliance? is terrible.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128693
 28.05.2016
XXX: The new coffee machine rolls. Just poured a cup of delicious "Swipe the milk supply system".

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128692
 27.05.2016
I work in a separate territory, the accounting and personnel have to go to the other side of the city. I go there approximately once or twice a year, so I do not focus on the building, and he, as usual, has a very unequivocal planning.

At the entrance, I ask the security guard to clarify - said, Mari Ivanna from the staff department in which office is sitting? I get the answer:

and -311. On the third floor, get out of the elevator, turn to the left and walk along the corridor to the big pit with a ficus. In front of Ficus is a cabinet.

I approach the elevator and think: the main thing is that the ficus is not moved...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128691
 27.05.2016
Observations of an object alter the properties of the object. That is what the supporters of quantum mechanics say. And I was three months watching the cat hanging under the couch and nothing changed. I was tired of it and I remembered Newton’s second law. And again gave the mass of the cat some acceleration with a tap from the leg. It’s not me, but the cat watching me. He is in the right place. Plus a minus on the coordinate in the toilet in your bowl to the Planck constant for two.

Not “observation,” but “measurement of state.” Try to use on a sucking cat at least a stangensirkul, the result will surprise you.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128690
 27.05.2016
The work is located in the middle between Moscow Kursk and Moscow Goods. Every morning I go out to the merchandise store and walk along the roads to the end of the fence.
He came out today. The weather is good. There is a booklet "RJD. Rules of safe conduct on railway routes". Open - on the first page with large letters "Walking on the paths is prohibited". I’m straight away from how pointy the RJD marketers work.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128689
 27.05.2016
How much do you know the language?
Well... enough to say "sorry, I don’t speak French".
And all that?
Yet another suitcase. I know the suitcase.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128688
 27.05.2016
Ed Le Shan "When Your Child Makes You Crazy" A wonderful book, I read it for the first time when my older son was 2 years old.
In the following years, I re-read it several times.
This is basically all I need to know about my kids.

Is there a similarity with the boss?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №128687
 27.05.2016
If you could go to the store now and take whatever you want and have nothing from justice, would you not go?
>>>>>>>>
The question is incorrect. Specify - why this situation arose; whether my visit to such a store will cause damage to its owners or staff; whether I have the right to use this store.
Because for me there is a substantial difference between communism in its ideal representation, the situation of a “survivor alone” in a big city (by the type of “I am a legend”) and the misfortune that has struck a particular store. If the situation is such that my actions will be marvelous - I will not go.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128686
 27.05.2016
There was, in general, a very strange case when I was invited to an interview with the company, listing me by phone projects implemented by them that really impressed me. In a rough business center, I was placed in a very comfortable chair, asked a lot of questions, clarified answers, and then, as if by the way, told that they had little trouble now, and the nearest salary I will get only in three months. To my surprise, they said that nothing terrible, I can still take a loan, which would have something to live in the near future.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128685
 27.05.2016
HHH
I sit like this, people write differently - and go to Warcraft.
I felt deeply, from the word at all.
I think it is not so. And then I realize that for me Warcraft is a strategist in 3 parts + addons, which I passed in school, and for the rest it is a lot of hours spent in the wolf.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128684
 27.05.2016
20436: The doctor has diagnosed you, prescribed treatment, you ignore it, engage in self-medication, while not calling you an idiot? How then?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128683
 27.05.2016
Summer is not coming because not everyone has lost weight yet.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I already wore my shorts and summer shirt.
I bought a new shirt, a bigger size.
Their shoulders became wider in the winter. And since my arms are growing and my shoulders are roughly the same.)

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128682
 27.05.2016
I like this logic so much – why put thieves in jail, because the same thieves will come in their place?
Let us then cancel the PDD, everywhere at least once broken.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128681
 27.05.2016
Anyone who thinks that it is useful to smash a flower syrene: NO. It’s not, you are hurting her.

The bushes need to be cut. and Re-Zat. Correctly remove old, weak, sick shoots, form a crown. It is best to do this either before the start of the juice movement, or after the flowering. Certainly not during the flowering. You can cut blossoms, but not necessarily.
The cutting is done either with a sharp cutter / socket cutter, or with a sharp knife. The cut should be clean and careful - so the tree is minimally injured and the likelihood of carrying a virus or fungus is less. Large cuts are treated with garden wax, small ones will stretch and so on.

Breaking flowering branches is very harmful.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128680
 27.05.2016
Binali Yildirim gave Жугдэрдемидину Gurragce corals.

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