There was such a story this year.
Stopped acquainted mint of Tajik, says mouth "Your documents"
He gives him a certificate. of registration.
See the address: "Red Square House 1".
He asks: "Do you know where it is?"
and no.
I understand...
See the end date of registration: 31 February 2012. by Facepalm:
At first he wanted to let go, but then realized that such fools in this country did not have a place, and eventually deported him. I know it’s not funny, but it’s a real case.

xxx: I put gu on console apps for the whole semester
The teacher is pleased :)

XXX: I’m going to work today. Something cloudy mood, not sleeping, all that. I took my wife, we went, we kept silent. I sit, therefore, and think: "Before, when she was sitting on the right, she constantly laid my hand on my foot, smoothed, there, played. And now it’s not so..." I didn’t even have time to get upset about this, I feel – she smoothed my leg with a palm.
xxx: I think: "Opa! It works! Don’t waste a moment – a million! Right now at least right on the hood!"
XXX: And I’m imagining in the Prado Crusade :(

He had a headache, and a sort of rash appeared on the body, like an allergy. I went to the internet, browse medical sites to find out what the symptoms are. I learned that I have syphilis, gonorrhea and diathesis. I left the internet...

What kind of man did he get for 250 rubles? The engineers received 150-200.

Boy, in the USSR, and now in the Russian Federation, tocars and slugs earned and get much more than engineers. Engineers can be taught, and a good metallurgist is a gift from above, for them personnel are chased.

I walked past a children’s playground. The kids are arguing who is the coolest.
1: I am the coolest
I'm stronger than you, so I'm the coolest
And I hunted vampires at a New York cemetery!

And the affigel, and the two mouths opened.

I go on the street home, I look at some man 2 guys ask the road, he asks them "... well here right, meters to the wheel somewhere 228,5....", I come home, I check on the yandex, clearly two hundred twenty-eight and a half meters from the place where they stood until the first turn of O_o

XXX is Hi. How about the exam?
YYY: delivered by faith.
You are an atheist.
YYY: In fact, there is an invisible force in the world that helps us, and its existence can be proven scientifically. It is not in the temples, but it is in many places, conditionally referred to as the Places of Force. She doesn’t listen to our prayers, but she welcomes our money. Having settled in the Place of Force, we can get knowledge from nowhere that was previously unknown, expand the horizons of understanding our world to unthinkable limits. And it really helps to pass the session. It is not language at all. This is a wire-fail.

Jay, buy me a car? Oh well please!
Why do you have a car in the kitchen?
The fucking...

Commentary on the DTP video:

ferdy 27 June 2012 at 16:36
I ask my half to be more specific, because from these "Vitya, Vitya, Vitya" you are even more lost in the situation.
I say, if you see something, say it quickly and clearly, for example: Be careful, the pedestrian on the right! Be careful, the car is on the left. 160, transplin, up to the bridge, left 60, narrow, further straight 300... ))

Remember me Serena.
He: Oh how do I remember you? Slightly or harder?
She is: Idiot! Do not forget to call, write.

Advice to guys. If your mom strongly imposes a girl on you as a companion of life, then just show her the contact page of a potential niece.
In 80% of cases, the wildest jerk will be written on her page. And there is a possibility that what you see will scare your mom, she will be disappointed in this girl and stop dropping on your brains.

You listen to it, and it immediately becomes so dull in your heart.

Even going to meet an ordinary person, the state often presses him with its car.

I read the story of a cat who took out the dog and eventually fell to her in a volley, and here I remembered:) A man from the company told, so that further in his name:
A friend went on vacation and asked to have a cat for a couple of weeks. The house is big, I agreed. The cat was a completely disgraceful "Scottish" with a genealogy, almost royal blood - eats only superfoods, vitamins daily, water only from bottles. This "delicate valenok" (from the word to roll) lived in the apartment all his life. The cat was brought, along with the supply of food, water, toys, bedding and instructions "how to take care of and what to do if..." on 5 pages with the phones of verified veterinarians to which you can contact at any time of day and night.
I have to say that on the site I lived a Caucasian - a dog of giant size and dark character. During the day I sent him to the volley, and at night released to the courtyard - here as it is said, "they are guilty of themselves..." And came to me to the site to walk someone's red cat - well in the day, of course. He walks, next to the volleyer so volatile, showing in all sight that he is the master here and he wanted to sneeze on everyone. And in pleasure to mark the end of the volley dog did not refuse. The dog, of course, is angry - and what do you do, as it darkenes the red hole and the trail is frozen.
Well, I placed in my house "the Scottish prince" with all the amenities, the dog for the night released and fairy tales. In the morning I woke up - I called the "high guest" to eat superfoods, chew vitamins, and then saw an open box and how the lightning flashed. Well, I think, went for a walk at night, a kittens, he was surprised - dogs then walk in the yard. Yes, I too, however, because the owner of the cat lady is serious. I run out to the courtyard and see an idyllic picture - the Caucasian is lying at the volier, and the Lord of Scotland is rolling nearby - alive and healthy, his head on a dog's bark laid and what is there whirling. Well, of course - a dog in a volley, a cat in the house, but the forks did not close - let go when the hunt came.
I sit by the window, in the compass, and I see a red thief walking through the courtyard with an important view. It was as if a gray lightning had passed through the yard. Generally speaking, a "delicate cuddled cat with a genealogy" caught up in the red visitor with all his nails and as he began to beat - without any warning on the cat's label, shouting at the same time as a rage. The red rose from surprise, but not in that direction - to the volley and there to go nowhere - on the pillar to scratch up. He sits down, all blown up. On the one hand, the “noble prince” swings, until he puts his ears. On the other hand - the Caucasian blows - on the back of the legs stands up here will get.
I ran out into the courtyard of the cat entrusted to me, took it in my arms and went into the house - inspected, no, did not scratch it red in the battle, do not call the veterinarians. The Scottish did not break out, calmed on his arms and again became a valley valley.
The red, of course, slipped from the pillar, but I did not see him again in the courtyard.
And the "Prince" until the very end of his stay with me on the sofas during the day, and at night went out on the street. And almost every morning I was opened to the same idyllic cardboard - the "cat of noble blood" lying on the evil Caucasian shepherd. To see the animals agreed - the Scottish red carries out and at night walks through the courtyard unhindered well and in the day.
By the way, half a year later was in the guests of the owner's cat, and everyone told me what her cat was a coward, just under the couch. And I remembered a gray lightning with a fighting cry attacking a red hatchback :)

Sexuality is something you cannot hide, not something you try to show.

Why do you watch NTV or there REN TV or there First Channel, and then discuss what you did not like there. Or rather, I don’t like it permanently. You are dumber than even those mice that ate cactus, because they can come up with at least some excuse from the physiological side, and you can't come up with anything.
Of course, I could say with a superstitious appearance, say, why watch TV at all, don't watch it, it's out of fashion and all that. But this is not the case, many people watch television during dinner or just when they roll on the couch, so there is nothing terrible on the TV, but it's crazy why you need to watch exactly the top-notch girlfriend, and even one that you don't like the wildest, and then as old ladies discuss with each other how you don't like the shit you eat.
You can watch sports channels, discoveries, animated panels, 2x2 again with cartoons, well, and if you wanted a sharp, irritating shit, then here it is better to choose the same MTV, for example, with their uebanish shows about models and all kinds of dumb idiots - it will still be a more quality product, than rural diarrhea from NTV or REN TV.
I do not understand you.

- And the evening inspection of that creature under the bed. He should periodically be fed with socks, so that it does not stumble on those who sleep.
Fuck, I didn’t know about it. – Why did you tell me? I suspected a creature in the closet and a monster on the balcony ((( another threat))
The socks will help. In fact, I revealed to you a terrible male secret. Men do not throw socks around the house. According to one version, they thus drive the monsters away, and the other - strangle them. But I’m inclined to the second version because the monster from the washing machine definitely eats socks!

Commentary on the news about the possible return to the transition from winter to summer time:

"On behalf of the IT staff, I send the rays of diarrhea to these creative people."

Stop washing Kerzhakov and Arshavin. No, I am not defending them - by the way, I was still at the time when everyone was drinking boiling water from one name only Arshavin, sincerely wondering what to do with such a worship before him? Nothing outstanding in him is and was not - and with his speech at the CES 2012 and after him he only confirmed my thoughts about him.

It’s all the fault of Gus!! It is time to get used to the fact that if he comments on football matches, we will lose... Even if the Russian national team will play against students of the internat for children with reduced mobility, and the game will comment on Gusev – the national team will lose! As soon as the match with the Greeks began and I heard WHO was commenting on it, I immediately said, “All fucking!”