from ZH:

We sit in a restaurant, I dug in the menu for a long time, everything has already been ordered and someone from Japanese husbands.
What are you going to eat?? to
I am a Kangaroo (I am a Kangaroo).And I continue to catch.
Is it no-no? I’m going to be a Kangaroo again!! I am a kangaroo!! (with a hysterical note, because I don’t like Nefiga)
Here a friend leanes and says, you can be as many kangaroos as you want, but with the menu you decide faster!! to
I confused the word to the Kangaiiter (I think, I think) and then I asked my husband I said so for 5 years, why did you not correct me? It’s because I’m used to being my wife kangaroo :)

The Communication.
Go to VKontakte! Going in? Look for Egor K., Peter, from 30 to 35 years old. found it? Add to friends!
He is married! He has a child!
Boy or girl?
How do I know? He sits in the pot!

xxx: Yes, a normal movie, that everyone is chased to it, if you look under grass or mushrooms, then there is a fire.
Under the mushrooms? The carpet deserves an Oscar.

On the website of the trading firm online consultation window: "Stay a question that interests you!"
10:44 Visitor: Where does the universe end?
10:44 Operator Administrator joined the conversation
10:45 Admin: Thank you for your question.
10:45 Administrator: Right now, we are understanding what was before the Big Bang.
Please contact later.
10:46 Visitor: beautiful people) thank you

I went to Dacia. There we had wood in the barracks. I told my neighbors about it. The neighbor is like this: "Yes, you have fig trees, thin". It does not burn...

Oh, mean, pentagrams over the Kremlin – it is possible, and the Eye of the fictional Sauron is not... or the unfigured.

A man with a deliberately enchanted logic, you won't believe, but ALL people don't know how to paint at first. No one can sing from birth. And to read and write, this is the horror, until learning begins, nobody knows - and it's all there. And if there are no objects for general development, then no talents will be revealed. Absolutely all children do not know - they will find it unnecessary to learn and try.
You will still offer to walk and talk to teach only those children who have been walking and talking since birth. Something else is tormenting!

Grandmothers as they are:
My grandchildren have eaten so well all summer. Meat was eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
In a week:
(Preoccupation) In the ring, such a big pop has grown. He needs to sit on a diet.

Exercises in sophistication.
So what do we have? A group of technically gifted comrades planned to make a high-tech artistic installation in the form of an eye of a fictional character. The fact that the character is fictional is known with a 100% probability. Another group of comrades, who believed in another character (whose reality is in doubt), vehemently protested the initiative of technically gifted comrades, because this initiative allegedly insults their religious feelings towards another character.
The paradox.
It turns out that:
The believing comrades recognize the reality of the fictional character.
The character of Tolkien and the character of the Bible are somehow connected, but they hide it from us.
The authorities do not sympathize with a group of technically gifted comrades, but with a group of people who recognize the reality of fictional characters.

Thus, in a cruel and barbaric way, the capital of Mordor was stripped of the point of Sauron.
And sorry...

Ukraine in 2006. A friend of DR, took to work delicacies for colleagues (worked a couple of months after universe). While running through the catering offices, a new mobile phone (samsung, pink) was stolen from her in the department, which she bought from her salary. No one confessed. In tears, she calls her dad to take her out of work. Her father is a man with a sense of humor. He looks at her and says:
Oh, it was a sparkle to click!
My friend in tears is even worse. So no one betrayed himself, who embarrassed. There was no one in the office except my colleagues.
This is Tom:
Ukraine in 2014. Journalists stole a tablet at a meeting of the security forces in the Rada.
In the room where a meeting of parliamentary committees on law enforcement and anti-corruption activities was held, a tablet was stolen from the journalist.

I sit and crave that nothing changes in this country :)

Oh, so you had streptococcus, so you are not recommended to give birth!
YYY: to me? I am a girl! These boys cannot give birth after infection.
XXX: O_O

Alexander responds to this:
— — —
by Zloradskij:
I propose to classify:
1. as it used to be - the work of anyone is cheaper to replace with a robot at this stage of development of robotics.
Like a fool - anybody, not even a robot is needed to replace, but enough bulldozer level unit.
3. as a degenerate - any, the main activity of which in general no one needs or has a negation. The Economist. of value (e.g. and criminals)

Obviously, prostitutes do not fall into any of the subhuman categories (and therefore are full-fledged people), while the overwhelming majority of officials and politicians, on the contrary, are the lowest. This demonstrates the realism and viability of this model.
— — —
about a dozen of my acquaintances (not friends, but just acquaintances) can be replaced with 3-4 lines of code. of an auto respondent. Two - a rubber woman and a car respondent.
Unless you fall into a mess. And if you fall, the taxi driver can be replaced by a google car. The seller is a kiosk with a certificate function. and so on. I would replace myself with about 4 devices and a driver for a couple of kilobytes.
It would be hard to replace Sergei. The fact is that in peacetime it will be replaced by a swallow of sheep, and as soon as something happens, the value of Sergeič begins to acquire a coefficient like Shoigu + Mazai + Batman.

MadMan: I have not used headphones in computer games for a long time.
MadMan: Probably since I encountered a bloodsucker in the underground of the Agroprom :)

Comment on the video on whether iron soap works:
XX: You are using the stick incorrectly. The soap must be sharpened on one side and the leaked areas of the skin removed mechanically.

Comments to the video, how the baby prevents the mother from sleeping:
xxx: I sleep with my son, letter Z =))) I wake up at night from the fact that the whole body is reducing already)) with a height of 198 ))
I think you should stop sleeping with your son. I think he’s already grown up when he grows 198 =)

But be honest, would you not refuse to live on all the ready? Only, unfortunately, when living with your parents, there is one disadvantage - the parents themselves continue to raise and control you, even if you are 40 years old. Those who have a bad relationship with their parents - they prefer to go anywhere, to anyone, to eat anything, only if the brain does not endure. I escaped when I got married.

My mother-in-law is now in the hospital and yesterday shared a fresh pearl. The nurse enters the chamber and asks:"No one has valocordine? A woman with a bad heart..."
by Zy. Department of Cardiology.
Good that the defibrillator has not yet been requested.

Well, I am a programmer with a school certificate, I have worked officially for more than three years. What next?
It is ===
The director of the factory calls the deputy and says:
- Alexey, you came to us at the factory after school, worked as a simple carpenter. Six months later you became the master of the mechanical shop, three months later you took the position of the chief of the shop. Six months later, you became the chief technician, then the deputy chief engineer. And then, in two years, you’re the deputy general manager. How do you like it?
Thank you Dad...

Hockin Sergey: Going to the Hobbit?! to
Dermonik: is it a buzz? ))))))))
Why did you put me in the impasse? I don’t know what to say now... I planned it in the movie, but...

The authorities of Moscow threaten to dismantle the “Oko Sauron” over the “Moscow City”.
Do we believe in "Father Christmas"?