It was in the village in the summer. I was still a little boy, and Korsh and I played at his house in Dendy. Suddenly a thunderstorm began, and we were told to cut off the telescope and the console.

Meanwhile, the thunderstorm was not a joke and lightning shone, probably every 5-7 seconds, shaking almost immediately, indicating that the thunderstorm was almost above us.

We went to the veranda to see the thunderstorm, and since my friend's house was extreme and the veranda was out on the nearby forest, it was very beautiful and the glowing lightning was seen very well.

The thunderstorm is getting closer, the lightning is getting more and more, we are pleased - even if, on the veranda it is dry, warm and not scary. Nearby stood the mother and father of my friend and began to argue that there would not be a town and would not break the roof from the cowhouse.

Suddenly, the lightning hits the water tower between their house and the forest (or the thunderstorm near it, I don’t remember). To the tower from the house 120-150 meters approximately, that is, not very far. The flash was incredibly bright and thereafter an unrealistic thunderstorm, as if you were plunged into a huge barrel and at the same time knocked on the walls with iron hammer.

Here my friend falls on the floor and starts beating in convulsions, knocking around the floor with his head and making some bullshit sounds. I stumbled from horror, his mother rushed to him, let's stop and read, my father rushed somewhere to call, and then this fool begins to roast and stands up from the floor.

Lord Jesus, how he was snatched! Father instantly shrugged his belt and began to whisper straight on the sitting on the floor.

I in horror began to fall down and ran home, hitting the thunderstorm, but even from the street was heard how this fool cried)))

Then on the street I did not see him for two days, later he went out and said that he had taken the console until the end of the summer))

I once came to a school in the glorious city of Kamyshev.

Feeding was quite normal, but, shit, to eat, no, to eat was always wanted.

And here is the luck: sent to the garment factory!

Carry boxes with spices.

Aunt from the conveyor said that you can eat spices in unlimited quantities.

I will never forget the taste of these fresh, warm spices!

The dress lasted two days. I have eaten these spices for two days. He was full and pleased.

I haven’t eaten sweets for almost 30 years. I want to go through Tula.

There is one funny fact. If anyone does not know, it is in the Germans, in the people, the red card is called "Arschkarte". (In other words a card card). And all because, once before, when everyone had TVs, the judges placed red cards in the back pocket of the shorts, and yellow in the load. TV viewers, seeing where the card came from, could understand what color it was (it was difficult to disassemble the color on the screen).

PS: Wikipedia describes this fact, but doubts its authenticity

For fools, the law is not written, but it not only exists, but also successfully punishes the intelligent.

When I was a student, I had a disgust for children. Especially small. Orut, whisper, get up at night, change the diapers... Uzhos, shorter! I never wanted children. And I was so angry when these “mothers!” They take them with them to restaurants and especially on the plane... I married a careerist like myself. No, she didn’t mind for a while, but then her career went away. There is an advantage “without children”. We looked at the world, the apartment, two cars. Money – really not lying – I didn’t count. Just took the morning from half a centimeter on the shelf and went to work. Then they divorced... My mother said to me, “It’s because you don’t have children. Each for himself. She earns money, and you’re not fucking from the mountain either. The wife should sit at home. She has another job.” I then did not give importance, I kept silent as my son was supposed to... Four years have passed, we and the ex call together sometimes. During the holidays or dr. And she has already changed custodians to Fig, and I am not a monk either. There is no happiness. In the personal! Only in private! Everything is broken. She tried to get pregnant, "for herself", and it's all right... She's 38, in principle, with our medicine. And the doctors said late, woman, run away! You have the body you needed before. He calls me drunk. It’s all my fault, shit! Except for me no one... I say, you calm down, you have a man who loves, a job, a career... It is for me: he needed children! It is all you! As the saying goes, “You get married, fool! Otherwise, no one will be blamed.” I am alive, I am not in trouble. His business, in May forty-year-old has gone beautifully. And yesterday...

An important contractor comes to me, with my daughter. I don’t know, maybe four years. “Sorry, I’m not alone here.” Forget the question. Not good and okay. And we stand discussing issues, emotionally dividing our hands showing what and how. And I lower my hand, and I feel somebody has taken me with a small palm. I lower my eyes - and the daughter turned her head, my office looks around and just accidentally took my hand...

To say that I was struck by lightning, that a truck fell on me, or that angels caught me, that sheep, that sheep, and not just carried, but thrown somewhere into the clouds – it is nothing to say... I can’t pick up words... The warmth of this palm, which clamps my hand tightly. And that moment until she realized that I wasn’t a dad.

The moment lasted two seconds, probably. When they left, I sat down at the table, got a cognac and thought. Maybe I’ve been wrong all my life. One cup weighs the whole world. With trips, serpentines, mountains, beaches, Hollywood. And on the other cup, the children, the dacha, the dog, the dissatisfied and forever tired wife. I have no answer to this question, thank you for reading until the end.

Our players have fulfilled all the unfulfilled dreams of the fans. They became better than Brazil, Spain, Germany, Portugal... And anyone before the World Cup dreamed of being better than Croatia???? Woooot!! to

I am ready to serve as an example for those who are still learning to do nothing.

Iranian Civil Defense Chief Golamreza Jalali said in connection with the drought, “Israel and another neighboring country are stealing rain clouds, preventing them from spilling over Iran.”
If there is no water in the clouds...

A man comes to the spare parts store and asks:
Are there spare parts on the floor?
Is there anything specifically needed?
Well, there... the wire, the isolant...
There is of course. You have a strange level. Parts from Oasis are suitable...

Once upon a time there were libraries.

Visited a friend in the hospital. I sat next to the bed, thinking about politicians talking, and he let me complain that the subordinates at work do not like him and this is still gently said, although he tries, but he hasn’t rushed. And in this spirit bla, bla, bla. And he has a smartphone on the laptop and messages are sinking straight there. I tell him:
How do they not like. They went out, watch, threw your phone with funny stories and anecdotes.
The friend:
I wrote them that the doctor, so that the seams did not break, forbade me from laughing.

"These lodiers are quite overwhelmed - they don't want to work after the 60s, but to get a pension for the hole. I’m 70 years old, but I’m working. - told reporters the deputy of the State Duma with a salary of 800 tyres, coming out of his job in the early morning of Thursday and sitting on the back seat of his official Mercedes with a flashlight to drive without traffic jams to his facade. The guard respectfully held a umbrella over him, protecting the precious health of the deputy from the element.

Aforism is a philosophical treatise from which water has been pressed.

I decided here to get rid of the neighbor with a drill and wrote on the wall between the floors: "Gena, I'm pregnant" (his name is Genoa), now it doesn't drill, but it would be better to drill because his wife drills the second day so that the perforator is flowers! and. and.

No team will be able to send the Russian national team home.

As a child, when there were strong frosts, on the way to music school found a frozen vortex.

I’ve heard that fish can live up even if they’re frozen in the ice.



He stuck the bird in the backpack, went with him to school, came home and put it on the battery to unfreeze.

I tried to revive him for two days until my mother began to look for the source of the smell.

Then I decided to become a doctor.

I take a passenger home.

Can I congratulate you?

P: It is too early. Preservation for now. A little worried.

I: It will be okay. The boy will grow, will wear - you will not catch!

P is 😉 thank you! I still worry, even though I already have six children.

I: This is yes! All from one woman?

P: No...

I: Of the two? ...

Q: No...

I am:... of three? ......

A: No... No...

They write about their fathers.

I’m lucky with my father. very very. He was strict, he was little spoken, he was even harsh. I was the sixth child, the youngest son. It turned out to be the most favorite.

It all became clear later, many years later, as a father did not become. Coming to my mom, snacking my mom’s cakes, drinking tea with blenders, my mom and I often sat talking, remembering all sorts of ancient stories. So began to reveal some interesting moments... there were many of them, I will tell about two.

The first case.

Immediately after school, in order to become independent faster, and not to burden my parents, I decided to enter a military school. Decided and done. became a sergeant. The salary of a student is 5 rubles, the salary of a sergeant is 7. You need to buy seams, pencil, notebook, paste, shorter soap and writing and teaching. There were hardly any cakes and drinks.

Mom once apologized: I apologize for not being able to help you during your studies, not sending money, not sending packages.

I say, how did they not send? I received 10 rubles each month.

My father was a teacher. It turned out that he managed to send me money from his salary for 4 years.

The second case.

I collected old photos and letters with my mother. Here is a postcard from you for March 8. Indeed, from me, on March 8th, only without the marks and handwriting of my father...

He loved his mother too...

My future wife and I went on holiday in the south by train. And we got a companion: a woman of 45 years old. What is strange, the upper shelf is empty (June, time for holidays and busy trains). And in this composition for 2 days.

I have an ordinary set of entertainment on my way: a book-music-eat-sleep. My girlfriend added to this another conversation with this woman. And they said a lot. They had very interesting conversations when I was out. Because when he returned - the companion immediately silenced and looked dissatisfied, saying, 'what so fast! '



She had to go out in Gelsenkirchen, and we had to go to the end. He helped her out, took her luggage carefully, wished her a good rest. Then they told me what this woman was talking about all that time.



It turns out she has a son. A little younger than me. My girlfriend looked at her. And convinced her to leave me and start dating a normal guy. He had an education bought economic, his mother bought him one, and with the girls he did not walk - his innocence was preserved. Even the photo showed. I am, in her opinion, an unreliable person, kind of a bandit and it is unknown who my ancestors have. Suddenly Vlad Zepesh! But my, because of my upbringing and female norms of behavior, could not immediately send this advantageous offer to the youth and endured it all the way.



This is how you go with a man for 2 days, eat at the same table - and he mixes you with dirt.

They only fly low.