bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128339
 20.05.2016
Inscription on the gazelle:
Take care of my children’s mothers, I’m growing up.
Someone has written:
We are not afraid of the boy, he was born blue.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128338
 20.05.2016
On May 20, St. Petersburg will take part in the all-Russian action "On Bicycle Work". I, as a beginner driver, perceive such an announcement as a threat. Why is?
1st Damn with them, with cycling routes, which are not, but 80% of cyclists did not open the traffic rules, and know at the level of "red - you can't go". and all. Because you don’t have to get rights. Drawing the manoeuvres? Go to...?
2nd I went to the site of these... "If you are more comfortable with a helmet and reflective clothes, buy both." Yes @#%^$! To kill such counselors. "Let’s be quiet" Reflective clothes and helmets are obligatory. If you want to live, of course, because you are not seen.
Three 20 They promise to be crowds. One such crowd in another run for an hour blocked traffic on the prospectus. "Fire in Hell!" in Yandex.Navigator was even the mildest wish.
Conclusion: Get out on the road - be more adequate. We are significantly different from you, and I would not like to find out the details of the difference in practice.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128337
 20.05.2016
XXX: I took the exam. Two months of waiting.
What a slow exam...
ZZZ: mailed to Russia?
XXX: In London, two checks
In the Polonium?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №128336
 20.05.2016
All you need to know about globalization is one of my relatives. She is Russian, born in Kazakhstan, grew up in Ukraine, now lives in Japan, married to a Czech man with whom she met in South America.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128335
 20.05.2016
Q: Have you seen the vocalist of this group? Her motto is not “Sex, Drugs and Rock’n’Roll,” but “Cakes, Cake and Rock’n’Roll.”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128334
 20.05.2016
Someone during his illness had dangers and falling walls with higher mathematics.
And when I was a child, during the high fever, the mafia passed drugs from one corner of my blanket to the other. And I did not like it very much!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128333
 20.05.2016
here here :
One and a half hours scrupulously studied the articles "How not to be bored", but the shortcomings found the sea)

It is scrupulous ;-)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128332
 20.05.2016
Windows 7 is like a wife for many users: no longer young and passionate, but so comfortable with her.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №128331
 20.05.2016
Who would not be appointed as the chief of the US army, and there will always be a friend who is gone from jealousy, who will begin to scream about external data, orientations and related relationships. Such acquaintances spend a lot of time on secular conversations in a smoker, so they know better who is supposedly sleeping with who than how he performs his professional functions.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128330
 19.05.2016
Q: Do you remember I wrote to you?
XHH: "The MFU is slowing down. They called him Tougokserja."
A day later he started to smash ;-( Justifying the name, shit...

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №128329
 19.05.2016
loly_girl: Personally, I think it’s all about the thickness of displays. Here before they were bulky, all were healthy, children were born 7 kilograms, immediately went to work, tomatoes were delicious and did not spoil for decades, and if they were spoiled, then it was natural and beneficial for health, corn was so useful that immediately all the cancer passed, and HIV infection turned into geranium, detox-cocktails chemical weapons turned into manna meal. But then there was plasma, ginkgo, ice, and everything, the end of civilization.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128328
 19.05.2016
A 5th grade boy came back from a trial class and his mother told me.
Mom: I told him before the class: Be active.
Child: Well, I ran there during the break...

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128327
 19.05.2016
To my acquaintance, on a new home in a city apartment, a friend-in-law gave a pig with the words: "Finally, I put you a pig." The pig was not from a decorative little pig, but from a normal village pig.

The pig started living on the balcony. He lived there for three months, bringing the surrounding (and neighbors) crazy with whirlwinds. According to a friend, he didn't know that pigs can make SO horrible and loud sounds, in addition, 24/7, without touching.

In any case, after three months it became clear that the pig is growing and will not stop on the achieved. It was decided to cut it and roast it.

His acquaintance had never cut cattle in his life, and he had no friends who could do it. The pig was sorry. Although cattle in all respects, and yet three months, side by side, lived.

When a friend went to the balcony, his family looked at him as captured partisans looked at the fascists leading to the shooting of their comrades.

He went in. The pig was found in the corner. He was like hiding. But his ass did not allow him to fit in the closet on the shelf. When a friend in complete silence pulled the pig out, he looked at him with a reasonable sad look. For what reason, boy?? to

The pig was not cut that day. A non-smoking friend smoked a pack in three hours. I called a friend.

A friend came the next day, took a pig and left. After a while, I came back with meat. He baked meat because his wife refused, and he ate during the dinner.

The children were crying, swallowing tears and salad. The wife was silent. A familiar drinker.

At the end of the day, he admitted that he had divorced everyone. And the live pig runs in the village, and the meat he bought in the store.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №128326
 19.05.2016
For a school performance dedicated to the celebration of May 9, the son needed an army belt with a plaque depicting a star for the room. I bought. I watched all night, nostalgic. Suddenly I was visited by a thought: The son, without realizing it himself, made a huge contribution to his upbringing and upbringing of his younger brother!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128325
 19.05.2016
The subordinate man doesn’t mind fucking with the boss woman without vaseline :-)

For some reason on the position of the "woman behind" no one agrees even with vaseline. The sadness. You have to carry your brain through your ears.

[ + 31 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128324
 19.05.2016
Well, how to say.. the hop company there is one shit noble.. one alchemy, the second is a decadent fool, the third is a terrorist. d'artanyan so in general the fool is naked and with the head does not friends))
How to save a country that is in danger? :)
Yes, the decadent fool, by the way, also a blue-fooled... although smaller... but how it will be eaten - lanfren lanfra on the whole street.
Even if there were no phones then, I would have called the former.
You call the fuck, and go, you fall from the horse.
It was a great time...
Here you come out of the cabbage, and you from the second floor are eaten.
And immediately it is clear that in this form is not what to go to the grandmothers, let call them - west.
And now...? Taxis, private people, laundry nobody sheds out.. there is no romance))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128323
 19.05.2016
If a woman had been appointed, no one would have said that now she is born, she is a grandmother.

Unfortunately, that is exactly what they would say. And so, yes, to water a foolish man, it is a holy thing.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128322
 19.05.2016
It takes no more than a week or two, and employees begin to treat buyers just as the company treats its employees.

Founder of Wallmart

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128321
 19.05.2016
by Ku. What do you think, am I a genius or a dalpaep?
There was nothing to do yesterday. I decided to rebuild the wind. He twisted the screw, finalised the electronics and brought the wires from the generator to his room.
And now attached to these wires 2 coils and put on the edge of the keyboard. It is hot, but there is a ventilator.
The wind is moving from the roof to a hundred. PPC...

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128320
 19.05.2016
20366: Are you a troll or just a fool?
Or do I know something, and the patients of psychiatric hospitals have been released on amnesty?
The morally concerned citizen offers everyone to observe the dress code, the socially concerned citizen offers to register microcomputers with the police.
The psychic?

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