I started reading...
I drove my 6-year-old son last year.
I didn’t realize it wasn’t the driver at all.

The amazing thing is the exam. Some are surprised with questions, others with answers.

I hate wearing a sign that tells me who I am. I have associations with the prison, the concentration camp and McDonald’s.

From Mail Answers:
Can I get pregnant on the second day after my period?? to
Pleased with the answer:
Let me allow. Go to!

A clever guru: I was sent a receipt and a photo from a street camera from Gaia, which was captured as I was driving around the city 110 km/h. I sent them a video from a friend’s phone, as I paid the fine to Haishnikov in cash.

The phrases abandoned in the times of socialism and pioneering units, in our time are perceived a little differently: "Drinked vodka, take care of the pilot".

xxx: The highest degree of bullying of a student is a recipe of "fricace in Paris from chicken with white wine" on a pack of laurel leaves.

Talk of friends:
Why didn’t my legs get off my ears? and :(
YYY: Because you have a brain between your ears, not a vagina.

The xxx:
I got Antonha glasses in the institute dining room, I passed through my mother)
YYYY :
Fuck, emphasis and imagination do wonders. At first, I thought what Anton was like, why he spit on you and what, and how you found yourself in the institute dining room. And most importantly, how can puzzles be passed through the mother? O_O

The only reason why there is still no democracy in Russia is that in addition to oil, we also have air defense.

xxx: shakes carot box read: "Net mass: 350g +/- 3%. Net mass for the Republic of Belarus: 350 g"
Yyy: Everything is strict in Belarus :D

I bought a toothpaste. In Russian it is written:"To brush your teeth after each meal" In Ukrainian:"To brush your teeth twice a day".Because it is not good!

Remember the joke?
- Who is the candidate Ivanov, place a field in the square next to his surname.
Who is against?
Put a cross.

So now I saw a complacent poster: “Put a cross on the thief’s power!” and a cross in the square was painted next to it. Oh yeah, sheath...

The smarter a woman, the more truthful she plays a stupid girl.

This is my case from my past life in Kazakhstan. At the beginning of the academic year, a girlfriend from the Department of Automation approaches me, we conduct usual conversations - these take, these do not take; here the old man is good, this group is blatant (as they talk about us, so do we about them). And then he says - there are rumors about some afferist - an evening worker who does nothing, and receives accounts. Let me say it automatically, and you will hold it back with your complaint. Why not, let me.
The attacker was fun, clever, charming, and until I needed anything from him (in the form of tasks), we made our best to be friends. Close to the session comes the same girlfriend and says – I gave up.
The story is this - they sent them with a coworker after work for something to some institution and they stuck in the elevator. To her claustrophobia, the fellow servant added terrible stories about those trapped in the elevator. And when the mechanic responded to their calls and cries and released them, she was ready to give him half kingdoms and marry him, but he only needed a bill, which she did without leaving the elevator. It happened to be ours.
Stay with Bender.
and my story. As usual, in the autumn, the teaching staff is sent to the base to collect potatoes. There were enough buses for everyone, and back to the one who stumbled, had to walk to the track. It’s dark, cold, tired, we don’t need a hundred years. Everyone is desperate. Suddenly the minibus stops - soft light, warm, quiet music. We sat down on our seats and went happy. After a few minutes, the driver brakes, turns toward us and I hear a native voice. "So, with mathematics order, with English agreed, problems only with deceit. So, comrades teachers, are we going on, or are we going off?” And I see, as soon as the benevolent faces of my fellow servants turn into rows, it is clear what they will do to me in case of refusal. Of course I Kiev.
Then we greeted him for a long time.
Talent is what a man can do.

He called our mayor’s reception and asked, “Where are we going across the country?”
Until I was able to answer where I was going.

<rinomancer> is especially funny when he tells about his love events, which is remarkably confusing every time and facts and numbers, for example, I quote "we came short to the six-story house of Lenkin, well we went into the elevator with her, I drove her to the 9th floor in the elevator and fucked"
<Lena> at the five-storey electricity switch
<Lana> Oh fuck...

XXX: What do you want from him? This is the man who made Ktolhu from pasta and sausages.
YYY: How is it?
XHH: He pierced the spaghetti sauce through and put it to cook. And then he went happy that he got a Kluhu. So little, he was seriously confused with the question of how to make the sausages cook slower so that the pasta had time to reach. And I found the answer: he stuck all this design in the refrigerator to freeze) And you want flowers, gifts and other romance from him...

I sit with my brother and prepare for the ride. About the Feng Shui Drum. The woman says:
Next year, in the southwestern sector, which is the mother sector, the woman sector, there will be a star of love. And in the men’s sector there will be a star of money. It is just wonderful! Women will finally get love and men will get money!
My brother immediately says:
All male prostitution will be legalized.

“Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed regularly and for the same reasons.”

I work at 24shopbay, a guy ordered a tree of 23.3 meters in height.
Comments: "Installed on the third floor. There is no elevator, so interested in the question of the courier will go up the tree or the staircase? Do you accept sweets as a payment? by D"

The next day, a new order: a garland of artificial needles with knots.
Comments: "Say, and these knots can be smoked? If so, bring them with the tree I ordered yesterday. and"