bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №136541
 04.12.2016
The cat walked onto the half-deep barley (tooonean branches) and looked down complainingly. Below, at the bus stop, he was loudly regretted and tried to deceive him with a sausage with fat (schoolchildren), a freshly purchased sausage (a aunt somewhat) and a head from a whirlwind (a uncle with a beer). The cat was not surprised. Here came the bus, the whole electorate plunged there and left, leaving the submissions at the barley. The cat looked around, tears, eaten everything except the whip, and used back on a few branches.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136540
 04.12.2016
I want to reassure everyone who wants to restrict the internet because of the threat of revolutions. There was no Internet under Spartak, Lenin or Pugachev.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136539
 04.12.2016
Exactly a year ago, ithappens last needed strong programmers. I wanted to remember.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136538
 04.12.2016
This is why the ruling elites of bla-bla-bla enjoy (attention!) The Virgin Milk.

In fact, it is possible, but it is difficult to get milk from a virgin. There were even precedents. There everything is complexly regulated by hormones, and the process does not necessarily start from birth. If you set a goal, anyone can be scattered.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136537
 04.12.2016
The ancients had the gods of wine and fun, Vakh and Dionysus. Instead of them, we have Freud, the complex of inferiority and psychoanalysis, the fear of loud words in love and the tendency to loud words in politics.
by Erich Maria Remark

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №136536
 04.12.2016
A scandal in the room.)
The man took the alarm and got the carrier, straight to the scream passed. Rjem sit, oret (literally): “I take a Japanese, and the car is uncomfortable like a jiguli...”
Claim - the tank is not on the other side (needs to be moved!He was on all the cars on the other side and he will allegedly come to the refuelling by the other side... and sincerely doesn’t understand why it can’t be moved.
2nd Why are the mirrors not warm? The supplier says, as I do not heat, they warm up, the steam has gone and the snowflakes have melted on the mirror. Chel: “And fucking, why is the snow on the body of the mirror on top and does not melt?”!”
Three "What hero, after heating the mirror together with the rear glass with one button is turned on? What kind of savings?! »
Remove the deflectors from the top, cut out the window under the multimedia and put the magnetol there with navigation - "I don't need these inflatables!" On the question of what to fix there, suggested black liquid nails carefully glue the gaps )))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136535
 04.12.2016
and impressive:

I thought about how to press and I am now uncomfortable!!! to

And also walking is a constant sequence of falls forward with putting your feet in front of you in turn.
And when we breathe, we do not pull the air and the lungs are blown up from it, and we press the ribs with the muscles and from this the air is sucked into the lungs.
P.S Don’t stumble and don’t stumble now :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №136534
 04.12.2016
After this press conference, Sergei Viktorovich Lavrov received a new patent.
As you know, he previously became the copyright owner of the words "Debils, fools!". (This phrase was later recognized as censorship.)

Now the Russian Foreign Minister has patented the look and expression of the face, which clearly reads: "Hui you, not the Kuriles!"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136533
 04.12.2016
Many children spend hours sitting online. How to Recognize Internet Addiction?"

If you see that the child does not break up with the gadget, and if it is taken away, falls into anger or despair, it is already a dependence. A terrible sign, when the child does not leave the room, you can not enter it, and food should be left under the door. It is time to seek professional help. If he goes to school, copes with studies, communicates with relatives, and sits at the computer for the rest of the time - no problem, this is now normal.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136532
 03.12.2016
I caught myself in the thought that despite the fact that all year from all corners only "Trump! by Trump. Trump", I’ve never heard his voice.

<><><>>
Have you seen "One at Home - 2"?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №136531
 03.12.2016
What would you say if you were offered a 7th iPhone?
Do you have an Android?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №136530
 03.12.2016
Purchased materials for repairs in a construction hypermarket. I go out with a cart to the parking lot and see this picture: a man and a woman load their car next to me, and their son is five years old, knocking a stick on my car. The parents, seeing me, pretend that everything is okay and continue to load.

To make an observation is useless – “the child of the angry bird,” beating is not our method. So I take a plastic cable channel and start knocking on their car.

“Onazemat” was instantly jealous: What are you doing?

As well as your child.

She is a child: Go away. Uncle is stupid.

They sit in the car and leave.

“Illy” is fucking.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №136529
 03.12.2016
The cleaning:
Why do you have two pills? One old, the other new.
Are you talking about yourself and your mom? xd
Hoh... Daddy...

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136528
 03.12.2016
I thought... but after all, aska is the safest way to communicate today.

WOW : Why?

In the yard in 2016. What idiot will listen to you?

zzz: Diman, you are more careful, for such thoughts some intelligence can remove you

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136527
 03.12.2016
to this
Re-examined "Fixikov" with the child and only now noticed that when demonstrating his knowledge, the planets, mathematical equations and the formula of spirits flash.) To see the good luck.

Few people know that in the old film "Big Change", teacher Nestor Petrovich leads a history lesson in the chemistry office, and the structural formula of the alcohol molecule is written on the board.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136526
 03.12.2016
I reviewed "Fixikov" with the child, and only now noticed that when demonstrating his knowledge, the planets flash, mathematical equations and the formula of the alcohol))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №136525
 03.12.2016
I decided to guess the book. A difficult period. I take honey. The Manual. Nothing to do, I guess. The page, the line. Quote: "Hemorrhoids are the...". and angry. Not more clear. I turn on the telephone - the candles advertise. I shut it off, angry. I turn on the radio. "Diagnosis of anal cracks and hemorrhoids..."The universe, what’s going on? P. S. Healthy, the ass does not hurt, guessed about love.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №136524
 03.12.2016
>> What is happening in the universe? P. S. Healthy, the ass does not hurt, guessed about love.

In my opinion, the hint is quite clear: do you have all this hemorrhoids?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №136523
 03.12.2016
In the zoo
The lion and the lion make "friendship with organisms"
the aunt stands and loudly annoyed "that as they are not ashamed, they are not ashamed at all";

Hangers in the dressing room - here you behave exactly the same


[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №136522
 03.12.2016
Gary: Let me tell you. why do I write mail.log = /var/log/blablabla.log in php.ini
The Nihua log file is not created.
because php is fucking
Gary: Okay thank you

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