Happiness is

<<< My husband goes to bed, I am already lying down, thinking: even if he had no sex, because it is cold and I will fall. Lenny leads his hand on the roof, and I am in pyjamas. He says, “Well, fucking, you’re in your pants all the time... and you’re going to sleep. The pyjamas! The best method of contraception! >>>>

What a high relationship! What a slide! Romantic in full growth!
If anyone was still in doubt whether to get married, now the answer is obvious!
The rest are jealous.

Why do I need to do sports?
A boy to be strong to protect a girl.
Little is sitting and bubbling: Katya walks karate, Elia at ken-do, Ulya at tequondo, and Polina?
Polina is going to shoot.
Which of them will I protect? Swimming very fast.
It seems funny, but a friend's son is going on some paperwork...

The new life life hack:

1st If there are no options, then the purchased bank of condensate in the pocket of the puppy can become an ohuen castet;
2nd Hopkins may not have been so painful, but...
Three ... from the nickname "Sweet" they have not been able to get rid of)))

Smokers have a lobby here :) Nothing else can logically explain the presence on the humorous resource of this UG

The amount of money that smokers bring into the budget allows them to smoke EVERYWHERE, except oil bases.

By the way, someone wrote that from a package of excise duty 20 p. Two packs a day for a month comes out of 1200. Colossal money. Let us continue? I pay so much tax on alcohol to the state that I can blame anywhere. I pay food VAT so much that I can pay anywhere. I pay so much transportation tax that I can’t stop before the pedestrian crossing. I pay so much taxes that I can’t obey the laws. Find out more ☺

With Geektimes:
Melchermax
I so tried to scare the mother of my children: being at work, I printed a text from a cell phone about the capture of the world by robots... I thought she would read and believe, because she did not know about the network capabilities of the printer. And she was phlegmatically like this in the evening: there the printer printed a fig, I couldn’t throw it out, look. insulting

Expenditures on research in the Russian budget decreased by 19 billion rubles.
Russia’s budget expenditures for the World Cup have increased by 19 billion rubles.

Forest_Gump: I’ve always been surprised that homeopathic drugs are sold in pharmacies. When a person comes to the pharmacy, he expects that the drugs are sold effective, not charlatanic crafts made of incomprehensible substances with untested effectiveness. I would like to believe that they will be thrown out of the pharmacies finally.

Demosfen: Adopt the law as for cigarettes - at least 50% of the area of the front of the package must occupy the text "Homeopathy". So that you do not have to look at the box office what you have been prescribed or advised by the provider.
Let them sell as much as they get in.

Allcreater: And also — terrible pictures from the series "this is what happens to people who drank homeopathy"? and :)

Instead of medicines.

If the husband left everything to his wife after the divorce, he is a gentleman, and if after the divorce he still helps, then you divorced the saint.

As a child, I think, all mommy strictly punished strangers not to open the door. I am 7 years old, alone at home. When I knock on the door, I run to look in the eye and see an unknown uncle. The bearded uncle with a drunk voice demanded to open the door to him with the words: “That’s me, Tanjuha!” Yes, my name is Tanya, but I didn’t open the door. A drunk uncle was sitting under the door until evening, until his mother came back from work.
It turned out that it was my brother who returned from the army, and we have 13 years difference with him. He still reminds me of it, and my mother said I did the right thing.

Chaos and mess all over the world. Everything is great in Russia! All are happy! Hi to. The program is broadcast on the channel "Russia 24".

The Holographic

<< Sorry, but is it also in Russian? > and >

Obviously, the tortilla is a squadron of cakes.
The corn is a shit.

English - Translation

How to distinguish a good translation from a bad one?
If I stumble while reading and wonder what the phrase was in the original, it is a sign that something went wrong.

I wondered what people would see in my window if I suddenly forgot to put on the curtains? A barbecue, an unshelled bed and a thin guy sitting in shorts in front of the monitor. It doesn’t matter which day of the week or time of day they watch. And you know, no matter how strange it may sound, it has been the best motivation for me to change my life.

BBB: Listen, it could have been much worse. You could be fat.

Aaa thank you fucking.

Ccc: Today I woke up fat again. God, when will it all end?! to

Don’t worry, there will be a day when you won’t wake up.

PS: You can support it.

111: What do you think is the meaning of life?
222: Self-development and you?
Self-development is onanism. Self-destruction is what really matters.
Self-development is self-destruction. Onanism is what really matters.

I will draw:

I don’t want to advertise, but:
The CAFE network - twister, potatoes, coffee. of 280 rubles.
Local dining room - a portion of salt, purple + goulish from cows, vinegret, 2 cups of compot. of 260 rubles.
And as a person who has worked in the dining room and in the kitchen for several years, I am now pleased that there are dining rooms in the province.
There was even lemon in the salad! and :)

Sanitary inspectors and consumers argue that franchise restaurants are on average cleaner than dining restaurants, and use more quality products - not least because you can buy back from the inspector, and from the franchise owner, who also monitors it all, not very much.

1C was originally designed for a small number of users, so the operator was given more freedom of action.
I’m inclined to the version that 1C was initially not designed at all, but was immediately written.

Our administrator bought a new phone, Motorola. I decided to wash it safely. By evening, he was so swollen that he could no longer speak. This is all said in the preamble. Ambulance is followed. I go to his office and watch the picture of the most cherished boss quarrelling with his wife, on a new phone, and on a loud communication. cannot be admired. She reproaches him — say you drink all the time, you don’t think about me, and so on, and so on. and so on. In anger, he closes his phone and then puts his shirts in his pocket. Here a crowd of drunk employees who were directly involved in the washing of the phone... Vodka is poured, a toast is pronounced, vodka is drunk, the latest news is discussed. Again the vodka is poured and in the silence that came from the pocket of our hero's shirt the voice of his wife is heard: - I look at you working there!! to

There is no documented link between a woman’s achievement of orgasm and a better or more numerous offspring. Men need orgasm as a stimulant for reproduction, and women why?

mmm: Women need orgasm as an incentive to give men more and more))

An organization with many years of experience in archaeological works will dig your car out of the snow. Record for examination of the site of excavations by phone

Long correspondence about fast/slow carbohydrates, oatmeal, etc.

You probably don’t need advice about fast carbohydrates from a person who ate half a kilo of bread yesterday before bed.
In my excuse, I can say that the brides were soft and French.