Why are your tapes scattered all over the room?
- They are not scattered... they are divided... in opinions)))))

The Ministry of Internal Affairs of Ukraine warned arbitrator Kashashi that if in Ukraine he is killed, the murder will not be counted

I thought with my wife to wash my notebook bag, in my side pocket I usually carry another mobile phone in it. Before washing, all the pockets were wiped out, everything seemed to be checked. put in the laundry. We sit down and drink coffee. Suddenly I got in, I look at the number - it's the same phone number that I was supposed to get out of the bag. The awareness comes, I make a spoon of coffee and I say to my wife, “This phone is ringing out of the washing machine.”

You are a racist.
How can I be a racist? I am a Jew by blood.
XXX was given?
YYYYYYYYYYYYY...

Rekken: My mom, working in Moscow, lived in the same room with a girl from sunny Kyrgyzstan named Gulya. A young man began to strike her. As a girl of the Mahomet faith, she could not begin to meet him without the blessing of relatives, and all that happened in Bishkek. Therefore, Gula decided to invite him to their apartment, so that the mommy, as a more experienced, would say her opinion. He came, pulling a bottle of expensive white wine, and my mother, white, by the way, can not tolerate (from where he had to know that), respectively, she pouches on herself, and therefore full of fusies, such as "Pay, son, sing." Not daring to refuse an older woman, a young hot Kyrgyz drinks a bottle, counts in one harry, and tries not to get messed away.
Gula: And how then?
Mother : No. He does not suit us.
Gula: But why then?
Mother: (dividing the hands) Alkas...

Correspondence in one of the societies. The networks.
He: What are you doing?
She: signed up for a page with recipes, I sit, I read, I need to learn to cook to be a good wife)
What recipe are you studying?
She: cocktail "mochito"))))
You’ll be a great wife ?

xxx: I will never set up a video recorder, but as I do not watch on YouTube, everything with them what a shame is happening, they are not happy what these video recorder...

A rabbit eats only once in his life. In the calculation! When I was a kid, my mother fed me a roasted rabbit, I ate it, and then my mother revealed to me the secret that it was a rabbit! Everything would be nothing, but the "good night baby" began, I sat on my knees in front of the TV, cried and apologized to Stepachka. I haven’t eaten rabbits since then.

Never try to make a moon walk in the bath! Never ever!

How is it?
As long as she is alive.
What are you doing?
I eat a dry concentrate of jelly and wash it with pomegranate juice.
Now I understand why so far. =)

Balzac: I can’t watch football normally
WOW : Why?
Balzac: The commentator is constantly shouting with the ugurish voice "Cannabis"! I am scared.

Before the purchase of the NG
Who will drink vodka?
Almost everyone is silent.
Second question: who won’t drink vodka?
Saffron is silent.
The third question is, will everyone drink?
everybody kicks

Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world. and c)
Give the girl the right leash and she will humble :)

Chatting on the organization of a shashish exit to nature:

A: Strong alcohol in this weather is bad for health.
B: I didn’t ask how useful it was. I asked, will we take it or not?

Anna: I am going to have an operation in my eyes... (horrible, but it needs to be done... the main thing is not to get anything...

Ruslan: Most importantly, do not do any operations in Barnaul. I had the head of the development team was Kosovo - eyes in different directions. And the lead engineer also has problems with the eyes in a bunch. When they talked to each other, they looked where they were, but not at each other. So the leading engineer decided to fix the situation, accumulated a lot of money and went to Barnaul. Something was cut off there. He is returning. The eyes are still in the crowd. The doctors said they cut something wrong, missed, fucking. They asked me to pay a thousand dollars to fix it. It is a month or two. I picked up, I went. have corrected. Where to go is Russia.

Ruslan: Oh, I am sorry! I did not think! You should be supported and reassured. In short, everything will be fine!

c d3, post on exoskelets.

At the fourth hour of the battle, the entire squad has batteries.
Yyy:... and only the DURACELL squadron held the defense up to ten times longer.

Lying - I checked, for the same amount you can buy 2872 galvanized boilers with a volume of 12 liters each, which will eventually amount to 34471 liters.

Fuck the fuck!

Laughter is laughter, and the Greek with the Czech.

Patients

“Look at the root.”
(K by Prutkov)

Mood is bad.
We sit with our aunt at the TV, we get sick for our own and we get deeply rotted in excitement.
My wife and son are sleeping.
Neighbors behind the wall are miserable, generally from every unsuccessful attack, they are cut off.
and stop.
Why were they so upset there?
This apartment, Alick has been renting with his family for a year. I’m not sure if it’s Alice.
I heard it when I met. Probably he is Ali.
Nationality is also unclear, maybe: a Kurd, maybe a Turk, or even an Afghan. The main thing is that people are calm and not conflicting. Sometimes local traders from the market come to Aliq for a couple of days, but they also behave quietly, like their striped bags - no one is seen or heard.
And today from something went crazy - they are sick for something for Russia. Football is a good thing, but why do you talk about it?
When our goal was scored, a sleepy son entered the room and, without opening his eyes, said:
“Daddy, these neighbors are shouting as if they’ve thrown someone off the balcony and then changed their mind and now they’re suffering.
Yes, it was really loud. Suffering behind the wall over the naked, turned into a wild scandal.
I put off the duck, stretched my pants and took the break in the match, decided to go out to find out – who and why are they being killed there?
I call, the screams at the door instantly fade, opens Aliq, he guilty smiles, invites me to the kitchen and begins to excuse himself:
"Sorry for the noise, only the Russians scored a goal and they are worried.
"They" - a man of eight dumb, non-Russian men, looked badly at me, like a fan sector, would look at the attacker of our national team who looked at them.
I suddenly felt guilty for our faulty game.
He looked like the captain of the sinking Titanic, who came to the passengers of the third class to apologize for the iceberg.
A small TV was roaring from the refrigerator repeatedly naked into our gates, but no one looked at him, the fans were sad. In the corner was a huge Russian flag for the kitchen.
I was finally confused, peacefully said:
Well, don’t worry, maybe after the break we’ll get stuck. I didn’t even expect you to... though... but it turns out to be such fierce fans of our team.
and Alice:
“We don’t watch football at all, but ‘they’ need Russia out of the group... Sorry, we’ll be quieter.

The second time.

Alic behind the wall, at first everything was quiet, but then the children of different peoples again began to scream and quarrel.
My aunt and I decided to endure – not long left, let people have fun...
This is all...
The final whistle, and the turtle is over.
and sad.
And the fans at Alick will not get all away, as if the match is still going on.
Five minutes, ten minutes passed, but the screams did not cease.
I wear my pants again, I go, I call Alicia.
The door opens, and I complain in my voice:
- Guys, almost two o’clock in the night, well lost and lost, life continues, why do you cry? Are you watching the match recording?
and Alice:
Sorry, we will not be again. This is for you, a gift.
And Aliq gave me the Russian flag.
I was finally confused, standing in the corridor with the flag spread, and Alic continued:
“They” (Alik sneered at his messy guests) just lost a lot of money. There, I have two hundred and sixty of these flags in my room, and smaller ones are even more.
How do we sell them on lighting? Who needs them now if you have lost?

In the kindergarten I dreamed of school, in the school – of the institute, in the institute – of the job... Ah, fuck, and why didn’t I live in the kindergarten?