bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113253
 11.05.2015
I decided to buy a telescope.
I see the characteristics.
– – – – –
Characteristics of the telescope:
Weight, kg: is
– – – – –

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113252
 11.05.2015
A certain vassal dismissed from our factory, after which a blatant joke appeared on the fence at the main entrance "The head of the factory". At an emergency meeting it was decided to paint this ugliness to the best of times, for which the youngest employee was appointed -I. Gave me some ancient bowl and said naked.
So here I stand, shake this shit and thinkfully look at the inscription, and behind me the Chief Jeep unnoticedly steals... I understand that the paint has dried up loudly I say - Pizdec now! I put on a cap, turn around and meet the boss’s flattered gaze.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113251
 11.05.2015
I am often asked how I plan to celebrate my 30th anniversary. I answer that there is nothing to arrange a Paphos celebration, it is not a round date. Just like all the decent programmers :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113250
 11.05.2015
Just from Skype. We discuss with the coder the target audience of the site ordered to us (the company is engaged in the sale of all kinds of training, CA - all kinds of young-active-creative). I drop him a bunch of links to the profiles of selected "ideal customers" in social networks, a break of five minutes and...
What a fucking shame! They are the same with you as the Gandons in a package - all bright, brilliant, and natural!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113249
 11.05.2015
xxxx: It was a long time ago, I was just learning to fuck in the comments...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113248
 11.05.2015
And I also found two blades on the same curtain. There are no skulls, but the inlet is like a finger pressed. I have no idea where I could earn it. I want to fix them.
- Are these entrances, he specifies, in the front and back on the same level?
- Yes Yes
- Well... in general, these are not inserts, but marks showing where the hoodcrat should be fixed... Do not replace them...

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113247
 11.05.2015
Here is this:
"Lev Lviv from Lviv, I wonder, are you in the world?"

--------
Have you forgotten the horoscope?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113246
 11.05.2015
Can you guess which 4 items you forgot about us?

YYY: Oh virginity with me, sexism with me... Khm... Per honour, self-control and humanity?

XXX is almost :)

YYY: No-ka

Only if sexism is a circle, honor is a toothbrush, humanity is a toothpaste, and self-control is a spoon.
XXX: I can even break down by concepts :-)
Sexism is a circle, because who in the house washes the dishes?
Honour is a toothbrush, because there is no more intimate hygiene item
Humanity is toothpaste, because you brush your teeth and they will draw to you.
Self-control is a spoon, because only you decide how much sugar you will put in :-)

YYY: Bravo, applauded

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113245
 11.05.2015
Will I buy MB in Offline?
Is it offline?
th th th th th th th th th th th th
Wow, I don’t understand, how is that?
No, not on the internet.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113244
 11.05.2015
But here all our grandmothers in the office looked at her with jealousy!
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Ugu... and if suddenly in the family life, the word crossed - immediately such a "happy" and remember that she is not only without work, but also without any means of subsistence. In addition, the outwardly unclean representative of the Southeast people can insist on female unemployment purely in order that, to the sky, some male colleague "Hello, Vasily Ivanovich" without a vigilant man of the presence did not dare to say - it is a disgrace to talk to a stranger man. Not all women live in the captivity of humiliation "so children love" and imaginary envy could quite be a silent horror that she herself voluntarily swings her head into the loop.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113243
 11.05.2015

In the Russian alphabet the letters "Ka" no, there is a letter "K", and "Ka" became a sound.

* * * *
Twins, how you did it! and doubled their foolish attempts to learn!! to
It is exactly the opposite.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №113242
 11.05.2015
Ladies and gentlemen, let’s end this gender, age and parental quarrel. I am 28, in a month 29, a couple of local wars, there is little to live. Just keep this resource funny. to regret.
Thanks for attention.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113241
 11.05.2015
I can still imagine a multivarka with a vagina, but all my attempts to imagine a vagina with a multivarka were unsuccessful.
**************
The weak! :) but the vagina with multivarka made my morning, at least

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113240
 11.05.2015
My child, with a celebration!
I: With which one?! to
R is sad.
Are there sad holidays?
R: Yes, when gifts don’t give...

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №113239
 11.05.2015
A joke fucking?
___
A joke of life
A little boy touched a battery and was hit by electricity to death
Before that, the boy's father broke the refrigerator and how the wiring touched the battery.
The boy’s mother took him out of the street from the fifth floor and laid him on the ground.
The boy survived, but he was taken to the hospital.
I’m a boy, I’m a real story... the Soviet time of the 80s of the 20th century, gesture (((
___
Fuck you, boy, I'll break his back so that the school course of physics remembers.

This "anecdote" killed the people’s kueva huchu! To put on the ground - the little things, mother was nice. Sometimes they are buried "to make the charge go". The ambulance arrives, and the patient is already buried - one head shakes. Instead of resuscitation (indirect massage, etc.) people are buried alive.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №113238
 11.05.2015
The first date.

Girl: Well, what are you doing?

I am a taxi dermatologist.

And he’s also a crapper.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113237
 11.05.2015
Just a title, but what! of the Habra.
<<<<Microsoft has stopped developing Windows, new versions will no longer>>>>

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113236
 11.05.2015
He went for a walk with a dog, the man called her a German-Fascist dog. The dog said to him in response "wau-wau" And I translated to the man, say she says that you are "russish swine" :-)

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №113235
 11.05.2015
..."A woman can replace a vagina with a multivarka"...

I can still imagine a multivarka with a vagina, but all my attempts to imagine a vagina with a multivarka were unsuccessful.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113234
 11.05.2015
Life has succeeded is when you don’t have to constantly convince yourself that your life has succeeded.

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