bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №48692
 10.06.2011
They brought me a card to show me. The real. A question about the "speaking" names.
The owner’s name is Bandit.
Position: Chief of the Security Service.


[ + 76 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №48691
 10.06.2011
What do you remember from Medvedev’s presidency?
He advertised Apple and fought the rotation of the Earth

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №48690
 10.06.2011
Comments on Weather News:

We have the Kaliningrad region, the weather is volatile like, sorry, dumb - I even have a book at home "How do you like the Kaliningrad weather?" 1987 issue. Like the Soviet synoptics were cooler than our Russians, right? So they write, (I will say a metaphor) that in the morning you can sunbath without leaving the basement, and in the evening from the frost it is better to hide in the refrigerator )

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №48689
 10.06.2011
She: Did you report to me?
He did it. I sent for soap.
She is: thank you.
Say thank you again, I will rape you.
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №48688
 10.06.2011
Mmm: when I come home, fire me fish, don't forget to take a shredded fresh fish in front of the house! I’ll come, scratch me a puddle!
Tagged with: happiness Look out the window, I’m going there.
Have you read our marriage certificate?
The fire:?
mmm: so here it is written: "Orlov Grigory Nikolaevich, further "Customer"...

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №48687
 10.06.2011
d0lboiob: We have an old refrigerator at work. The chicken has been in the freezer for seven months.
d0lboiob: Yesterday the boss came, said, “Food to eat, refrigerator in the cushion,” on the occasion of moving the office.
d0lboiob: Today I come, and these fools have digged a hole in the backyard, gathered around it, and the admin is reading a funeral prayer.
d0lboiob: so they then sealed there the side cover from the system with the inscription "Chicken Pest. He died of fear.”

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №48686
 10.06.2011
The men who chose cats began to chew them. Their blood test showed elevated levels of the hormone testosterone, which confirmed that they had not had sex for a long time.

Poor Admin... Now it’s clear...

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №48685
 10.06.2011
Drinking beer with someone else’s girls is like playing someone else’s disk... like it’s interesting, and the disk is good, and the surface is grabbed below.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №48684
 09.06.2011
I read here how to treat an attacked dog.

From the entire article, I liked this most - "If a dog bites your hand, be a man and pitch it on a tree"

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №48683
 09.06.2011
X-man: So you are not happy with our relationship with you?
Tanya is satisfied
X-man: Fuck, I broke the windows here and asked Andrew the question about the relationship.
X-Man: He’s also fine.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №48682
 09.06.2011
I went with my friends around the city. A gang of teenagers crossed the road. And if I didn’t do karate in school, we’t be touched.

[ + 104 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №48681
 09.06.2011
A television host and political activist from Kuwait, who had previously run for parliament, has proposed a law that would allow men to buy sex slaves for personal use. According to Salva al-Mutairi, such a measure will save the representatives of the stronger sex from marital betrayal, as they will always be able to relax in the society of the prostitute.

Women of non-Muslim faith captured during the war in other countries can be used as a living commodity, the politician suggests. For example, for “sex-import” Russian women taken captive in Chechnya will be suitable, the TV host is sure.
This is shit, comrades.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №48680
 09.06.2011
Our administrator at work (a healthy child, by the way) renamed the server computer to "Skynet" and walks around the office with a stone rod, like Schwartz. And yesterday everyone dropped the location of bomb shelters near the office at the post office. It was the most linked environment in my whole life.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №48679
 09.06.2011
I stand and smoke. A father (O) passes by with a daughter of five years (D).
My daughter, why don’t we have a mother?
D: Because Dad is a fool.
Oh... well, right...
O_O

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №48678
 09.06.2011
We have a stadium near the house, well there in the morning people go to dogs to walk, children in wheelchairs, and some to run and other physical training to do.
Okay, I'm walking there with Sashka today, I'm watching - the guy is somewhat pressed off, well, I think, I'm good, I'm going, and he's holding his back so curved and his hands are wrong.
I say to him, say, you are doing the wrong thing, straight your back, and he stands up, shakes off, and says, "Well, you are in the pen, you are busy with your notes, I'll go better to shake."

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №48677
 09.06.2011
Q: Why did Google put a guitar that responds to a mouse on the front page?
XHH: Our department has been holding concerts for 2 hours... on guitars... on compass...
The boss came and thought he would punish. And he sat down at the computer of a bugalter and dropped down Sweet home Alabama. Then with the phrase – "Bite out! I’m still happy!" I’m happy with my job.
WOW: Today will be the "Day when work has stopped!" XD

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №48676
 09.06.2011
Yesterday, the neighbor, with a dog, commanded:
"Go naked!" and "Go naked here!!and "

[ + 56 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №48675
 09.06.2011
[02:08:11] <ZLoYZmeY> it is strange that the huge fatty thighs are proud of their huge fatty breasts, as if accidentally completely forgetting about their huge fatty asses, blasting.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №48674
 09.06.2011
In the night before the exam, two questions become relevant: is it possible to breathe before death and what shit I did not learn before.and :(

[ + 174 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №48673
 09.06.2011
The "Russian Knights" and "The Hairstyles" will be dismantled, typically expensive.
and blatant merina for fatty webkovs from the Kremlin shit is not cheap to buy. I hate it!! Animals, clothes, just no words.

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