What is life? A puppy battle!
The empty hustle!
The whole evening I wrapped the veins of bpitva,
She cries, but it doesn’t matter.

I used to think that crab sticks were made of crab meat.
Then I found out that it was from the fish filet.
Yesterday the cat refused to eat them and started buriing. I don’t know what to think here...

As our company decided to go to a restaurant, my companion (he has a little daughter) decided to book a place on the phone and he calls there, his manager asks how many of you will be, my companion, breaking off the phone, turns to us, well, how many of you people, begins to count, and says to us five people, here his daughter interferes in the conversation and declares - I am not a human, I am a shark, a companion immediately corrects: we are four and one small shark))

The morning of work:
XX: I am tired
XX: I want love
XX: so that for a century
Better to sleep.

And yet in non-Russian my favorite - the phrase "here you are holy prostate!"

by ZANUDA:
to this:
In connection with the emerging situation in the economy, the government of the Russian Federation has prohibited the use in the media of the phrase "COMMUNICATE END AND END".
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? to
As a propaganda of homosexuality. andquot;
WOW - [ runs a fork with a peelmen ]

What is DIBILISM? The established phrases, objects and phenomena are not propaganda of anything exactly until they are prohibited under this pretext. Only then do people begin to develop associations, which would otherwise only appear in one or two possessors of bold fantasy.
Could they even ban the rainbow?

What kind of debility is it to take jokes for real news? Sometimes it’s better to sneak before writing.

I took the film mechanics exam in the army, yes, in the 80s, they required a certificate that I could work with a complex technique in which there were many rotating parts. No, the machine was already given and the shootings were...

From Habr:

XX: I think it is not written, rather mechanically than consciously.

Freud, Göring, Röntgen, Angstrom, Pasteur, Roerich, and Goebbels have just settled. Schrödinger, Montesquieu, Chebychew and Goethe were more fortunate — they, however, are not all, but they are pronounced through “yo”. But Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy began to suffer from this even while he was alive.

News from Radio:
52% of Russians believe that federal channels show objective information, and there is no reason not to believe them
Record amount of currency: 7 billion. The Russians bought the dollar only in April.

Is that the other 48%?

and flare:
Binda Winda is pain and suffering.

Delinsky is:
Bindy of India. It sounds like a tumba.

and flare:
As it sounds, so it works.

Harsh men make the installation, pull the cables around the building. It is necessary to drill the supporting wall, after the winter the wall is damp, the storm is constantly stuck. They made a hole, they can't get a burr, they decided to knock out a hammer to get from the reverse side of the wall, they stopped the burr by the very tail, they can't get. They thought, they took the second thunder shorter, they wanted to push the first thunder, they planted the second thunder in the wall. I make a laughing attack, I say, you have a third bull. They cried and caught him there.

Well, now you can wash out of paper in the toilet! Finally come up with a scarf that can wipe your ass out!

here here :

Alexandra
I see, I see, I see

Alexandra
He came, he saw, he won – or, simply, the pup.

— — — —

I saw the vici.

You saw the wine, you saw it, you won it.

We go with my father from the morgo, I sit, switch the radio in search of music, suddenly I hear a piece of advertisement ". at the address of the machinery 22, we care about your health!" And everything would be fine, but we returned just from the machinery street, house 22. Worrying about X.

In connection with the ban of the GPS system on the territory of the Russian Federation, as well as in connection with technical problems in the work of the domestic GLONASS system, Roskomnadz reminds: "Moh grows on the northern side of the tree."

To fun moments about "people’s trails"
In our city, the institute around the territory has updated the fence. In a solid one, from the springs in 2m height. At the same time, the "people’s path" was removed from the university to the communities. On the first evening in one of the sections, two bars (cm in diameter) were bended for convenience. After a few days, the entire section disappeared. The chief was fiercely outraged, but against the poem you did not deny and made a bowl there.

to this:
Ukraine offers Russia $15 billion in debt to pay for gas.

Listen, Gene, let me take things, and you take me.

What a simple people we have. Russia will be borrowed, and Gazprom will be paid for gas.

here here :
My friend recently went to the ear throat nose. The doctor had an eye name.
— — —
In the army, in the training we had a soldier by the name of Rjadova, and another with the name of a relative. In the evening, when the senior arrived at the letter "R", it was fun:
The Order Order?! to
and I!
Ordinary relatives?! to
and I!

How to help a guy who buys alcohol in the pharmacy?

____________

Alcohol is an antiseptic.
How to help people who buy an antiseptic in food and consider it a reason to take it inside?

From the forum:
The guy bought a bicycle Headliner (class Ashan-bike, read - shining daylight). "Please give me some advice. The front three stars - only switch two. The back 6 stars do not switch at all. Please tell me - the bicycle should be configured when buying or it should be done by the buyer? I read the instructions - I didn't understand anything at all.Maybe someone knows what to do?
The answer killed:
How to help a guy who buys a bicycle in a grocery store?
How to help a guy who buys food in a bicycle store?
How to help a guy who buys computers in a business store?
How to help a guy who buys alcohol in the pharmacy?