bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №31578
 16.06.2010
photo - on the girl's stomach a sun of stones, signature - Stone sun in the stomach...
I want a place under the sun.

Law_Kator

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №31577
 16.06.2010
Paniq: Do you think if I eat, the seats will be better?
Stervo: I think the seat will not get out at all then.
paniq: beds, sweaters, sweaters, sweaters will be, ahah

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №31576
 16.06.2010
Early Saturday morning. The crap. and silence. In the apartment - father (lawyer), mother (lawyer) and a 3-year-old daughter. Dad in the bedroom, not yet finally awakened, is blessed in bed. Mom in the kitchen, caring for the household, making coffee and thinking about the menu for Saturday breakfast. A gentle child, full of strength and energy, jumps around the apartment.
Mom (from the kitchen) – “Daughter, run to Dad and ask when he will get out of bed.”
The girl runs to her father and asks a question.
Pope: "In ten minutes"
The daughter gives an answer.
Mom: "Ask Dad if he will have breakfast"
The girl runs to her father and asks a question.
Home "I’ll be"
The daughter gives an answer.
Mom: "Ask Dad what he wants for breakfast"
The girl runs to her father and asks a question.
Dad (don’t forget, Dad is a lawyer): "Please ask Mom to outline the horizons of prospects in the range of the available stock of products".
Daughter: “Mom, Dad said he won’t have breakfast.”

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №31575
 16.06.2010
[tottoro]: I am shocked by the confused wires at his company. A male eight-legged from such a spectacle is guaranteed to be excited...

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №31574
 16.06.2010
The Ekaterinburg Water
Xxx: Fucking some
Hot water smells like shit! A cold fish.
When will normal water be made by cows?! to
yyy : natural, without flavourings))

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №31573
 16.06.2010
Wiki article of "Right"
Musical instruments such as guitar are also tailored for the right hand (this is a controversial claim, since the left hand party in classical guitar is almost always more difficult than the right hand party (this is a controversial note, since anyone who is familiar with playing the guitar knows that it is the right hand that limits the speed of play (this is a controversial objection, since anyone who is familiar with playing the guitar is unheard of knowing that the speed limit is the ability to synchronize both hands))).

[ + 100 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №31572
 16.06.2010
by Meloman2018:
Today, a bright example was cognitive dissonance: a fellow student wrote from a textbook that our teacher issued, sat down to him, and he scratched this formula and said what was wrong :D

[ + 57 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №31571
 16.06.2010
Leaked (15:18:00 15/06/2010)
How to learn English to become "free" in 4 days?

Olga (15:18:37 15/06/2010)
Fighting with an Englishman

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №31570
 16.06.2010
I take my son from the garden.
What did he do?
It was Coke! Cooking food for pirates.
and yes? What do pirates eat?
Beer, vodka and cake!
and AGM.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №31569
 16.06.2010
About South Africa

It seems that crime there is indeed immeasurable, unwise, if such a percentage lives in poverty. Do you want to do something like that in a country like this? Idiots would give them money and money. They would still have a sailing regatta in Somalia...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №31568
 16.06.2010
If you want to be calm and happy, don’t turn on the TV!! to

[ + 53 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №31567
 16.06.2010
This morning. Near the stop there is a small natural marketplace, on which the taxpayer has not yet placed its hairy leg.

She is 55 years old with a dog. The character of the lady is apparently a dog, and the dog of an uncertain breed, but rather large and good-hearted and stupid. Madama goes, proudly carrying a buffer and pushing the people with them.
Do you think of Ranevskaya in the “Poddish”? Approximately like that. The dog is wrapped nearby, not enjoying walking at an air temperature below 30 already in the morning.
9 in the morning, threatening to turn 35 in a couple of hours.
Suddenly he noticed a cat a few meters away.

The description of the cat requires a special paragraph. A wandering cat of dirty-white color, not thin, but rather burning. With a square cheek in old healed scars, with broken ears and a sharp look, knowing the price of a cat.
He is 5-6 years old. This is the worst age for such creatures. And if he survived several thirty-degree cold winters and forty-degree care years, was not struck by dogs and ripped off by relatives from garbage containers, was able to avoid children's anatomical experiment of the type.
“As much as he can do, he definitely deserves respect.

And here he sits next to a fresh fish shop. By the way, besides this cat of others I have never seen there, although the place is "fish". He sits so proud, not canyoning. He knows that he will still get, given the temperature of the air and the rapidly perishable goods. And, indeed: from time to time the merchant throws the cat the most unconditional fish. He has no competitors. The place is won in difficult battles for survival according to the cup system: the loser goes out forever.

And here the dog, either because of its natural stupidity, or because of the heat, takes a few steps toward the cat. How ordinary cats behave in such a situation you know. But not this! Without losing dignity, and, I would say, innocently and not very strongly beats Obak on his mouth. Well, like you, you don’t see, this is my territory, here everything has long been captured. The puppy with a whisper jumps away, and the lady decides to punish the offender. Well, I’m probably used to doing the same with my husband, if he’s still alive.

She struck the cat with her foot. Cats have a good reaction, but this one!!! When the leg was 5 centimeters from the fighter's body, the cat jumped on the spot and descended just when the leg was underneath him. With the nails of the front legs and spikes he grabbed his leg, and with the rear began to quickly tear the body. After two or three seconds, without pressing the clamps, he performed the same operation with his front legs and jumped back for a couple of meters. Madame is on the ground. His legs are carved on the American flag. The dog is worn in circles and cuddles, and the cat is quietly sitting in 2 meters and licking, sorry, eggs. As if he is not here.

The result. If the lady has not broken the veins, then the cat's infection is provided for at least six months.

Women are offered to call an ambulance, but nobody rushes to call and compassionately outraged by the type of "there are all sorts of wandering cats, they need to be killed", but they are already afraid to approach.

And the men, apparently presenting themselves in the place of the wife’s husband, in one voice:
“It was foolish to touch the animal!”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №31566
 16.06.2010
Am I fat?
and no.
But losing weight’t hurt, right?
I like you so much.
But I’m not thrilled, right?
You are enthusiastic.
But not angry, right?

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №31565
 16.06.2010
Two people lie on the couch.
He said, stretch up the belt.
She: I don’t have a belt o_o
He says: I have it!

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №31564
 16.06.2010
In Moscow on the escalator at the exit from the city of Savelovskaya hangs advertising poster %brandname%: Company Salon, street. Kirova, 167, and scheme, type by corner.
I don’t remember in Moscow. Kirova... only travel is.. stumbled down and found... Brand name% - Chelyabinsk (!Kirov Street, D.167
Behind the corner, the m...

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №31563
 16.06.2010
XXX: It’s a fucking kind of... Do you remember Vanuatu, a massager?
Yyy: Well, it’s silly, but yes
xxx: In general, you invited me to a date, and somehow it went that we were already on the first... Well, you understood. He makes me a massage and... "with you 800 rubles. A few more lessons and the back will be normal"
I sat with my mouth open for probably 10 minutes.

[ + 89 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №31562
 16.06.2010
Commentary on 12-year education in Ukraine:
He woke up in the morning, shaved himself, kissed his wife and children, and went to school.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №31561
 16.06.2010
xxx: I don’t want to go to bed, although I know what to do (((
XXX: No motivation for sleep
YYY: I am not motivated by my bed either :)
If there were a girl in it.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №31560
 16.06.2010
kr0k:) (17:19:48 15/06/2010)
I will separate her)

TeRm1T (17:20:07 15/06/2010)
Found the fucking concentration.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №31559
 16.06.2010
7:14:39 PM: Shurik, don’t stick to me
I had a cup of tea in my cowards.
I am not impressed by your jokes anymore!!! to


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