bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113113
 08.05.2015
What is a broadcast storm?
This is when the network started the clinic, sberbank and the post of Russia at the same time. Packages are pushed in rows, beating each other, falling and calling the datagrams prostitutes and drug addicts.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113112
 07.05.2015
No, I have seen a lot of strange and crazy nicknames in my life.

But when today in Kings of Thieves I was told, “Your stone stole the Under-Eye.”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113111
 07.05.2015
At the same time, this does not cancel the fact that the profession is really needed. Just like the public toilets.
-------
He admits that the profession is necessary, and he himself advises to learn the normal profession. You either take off the cross, or you take off the cowardly clothes.
A separate respect for those who believe that it is enough for a prostitute to stretch her legs to scratch money with a spade. The stereotype is similar to this: "Yes, programmers don’t have a job at all, you think the buttons are ticked, it would be better to go with the loaders".

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113110
 07.05.2015
In my youth, a fan came to my mother on the balcony (the fourth floor of a five-storey house). She opens her eyes - on the balcony a guy with a cake and flowers. “I dreamed,” thought my mother and closed her eyes back. But the neighbors from above called the police=))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113109
 07.05.2015
I will launch a new brigade on Sunday.
I am going to help you.)
Theme: Meaning

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113108
 07.05.2015
to this:

Married for 10 years, have a son. I drink less, I do not smoke, I earn more than my wife. I normally and calmly communicate with my wife I do not argue, but after a while the wife begins to attack. It is worth behaving like a fool, mother and insult, the wife immediately becomes calm and does not emerge.
— — —
Read the theory of TISS - the dark and light sides of the woman's psyche.
– is
And my personal imho is a survival. She periodically checks you for masculinity – that is, if she can catch up on your neck. You roar and she calms down – she’s next to the strong.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113107
 07.05.2015
It was read.
I had M who lost his virginity at 27 or later. It was not popular in youth with girls. We met him later and I did not regret it. I’ve never had such sex and I didn’t know there was such a feeling. I didn’t know there was such an orgasm.)
I suspect that what was not easily obtained was appreciated more. Or maybe just hidden talents.
I still remember being married.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113106
 07.05.2015
Grandma, why do you have such a big liver?

You guess, the little bitch!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113105
 07.05.2015
My husband has a brother Leah. He is unclean, but, as I would say, not of this world. The ability to communicate to the strengths of Lehi does not apply, but in the depths of his soul he knows that communicating with relatives is better than not communicating. Therefore, he diligently makes up questions about what he does not understand and does not want to understand.

He saw our three-month-old daughter for the first time. I looked at her for a long time, then asked if she liked riding a bicycle.

I, who always thought of myself as a sociable person, did not go after a word in my pocket, for the first time in my life I did not know what to answer.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №113104
 07.05.2015
Discussion of the new T-14 tank

xxx: This is not a lookout for shooting gillets
YYY: What is it? There are creatures.
zzz: This is a place for a standard cat

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113103
 07.05.2015
From the Voyager Forum.
Discuss video of a masturbating girl shot by a hidden camera.
XXXX is a performance. In the annotation it is stated that she is reading an erotic novel, and at 5 minutes clearly visible barcode by which a collection of algebra tasks for 11th grade is broken.
YYYY I’t be so categorical. Maybe it's a teacher catching up on high school students who will fuck up with these tasks tomorrow.)))
ZZZZ or high school masochist before the control, feeling pain and humiliation :D

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113102
 07.05.2015
I do not remember the movie, there is one of the heroes girl successfully treated from impotence for one night and is very proud of it. Every day and every time a new girl.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113101
 07.05.2015
I tried to trick my German colleague into how they were able to get rid of the prostitutes in a Russian-language book. and Niall :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113100
 07.05.2015
It is simple:

Why is it not so with you?! to
That in the institute of female affection was not delineated was what later. When I was in school, I was naked like a socket. Not a beautiful man, not a smart man, not a deceitful man (not a wicked man, not a complete fool, not a lazy man)... No one was especially caught up, not everyone liked it, but it was a myth for me. He was married to a normal job after living with his bride for two years. What mercancy, what shit? Do we live in different universes?
and----
Of course in different! In their universe (head) the babies are mercantile creatures, and everyone sees only what is already in it, so they only notice such things, and when it does not appear, it is suspicious - probably a very cunning fox, but nothing, I know everything about her, what is in her head! You won’t take me by clapping the eyelids and hypocritical “better to walk in the park instead of a cafe”, surely on “everything earned by blood labor” is squeezed, waiting for me to lose alertness. Nihera, I can’t wait, ahha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! Oh, left such a good one without even saying goodbye? I said they all need one.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №113099
 07.05.2015
He is so foolish that he was once trapped with activated coal.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113098
 07.05.2015
It’s simple: there’s such a thing as your circle of communication. Every circle of communication has its values. If the girls who are in your circle of communication, the main values are not feelings and love, but material well-being, then yes - for all the girls mercantile prostitutes. But it is only about you and your circle of communication.
But of course the message of the type: "And what do you water me here, without babies nobody will give you!", sometimes just stunned. People live in some narrow, limited world, but claim absolute truth. Especially delivered the post of a 30-year-old virgin (type believe him that girls without money do not give). You know how to believe a person who submitted 10 applications to different universities and was refused to do without a bastard. And the fucking thing is not that he did not prepare, or enters universities not according to his specialty, the thing is that he does not have a bachelor. And the example of the tens of thousands of people who acted is a hurt. He paid 100%, he knows it.
In fact, every girl has a relationship goal: Who wants material stability, someone of romance and pure love, somebody needs a “cool guy” to get rid of their girlfriends. And the task of any person starting a relationship is to understand to which category his chosen person belongs, and to decide whether it is worth continuing the relationship with her.

Z is. I married without having any money, happy in marriage for the fifth year.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113097
 07.05.2015
I had to go to the girl, as immediately or with a little delay a competitor appeared.
— — —
The heh. "Please pretend you are my boyfriend. A caretaker must be taken away." Approximately this is what it looks like on the other side, from the friendzone.

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113096
 07.05.2015
< a long life description of a picturesque fool and a woman in love with him>
I don’t understand you, girls. I really do not understand. That’s why you’re so attracted to fools. Really bad fools.
--------
But here my neighbor is dragging all the dirt from the washing in the apartment. Boxes of all kinds, clothes, bottles, once even a broken sofa pulled. And when the apartment stopped accommodating, he started storing on the staircase until the neighbors rebelled. I don’t understand you guys. I really do not understand. That’s why you’re constantly dragging cloth from the straw into the house. Really no bad stuff.

Why am I? No need to summarize. Do not judge all women by one masochist; it is as ridiculous as judging all men by one masochist.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113095
 07.05.2015
I watched the first season of "The Last Hero". The year 2001. I was jealous.
You are on a deserted island in the Caribbean, the sun, palm trees, half naked people. And then Sergey Bodrov sails, wishes a good day, shakes his hand, congratulates him on his birthday, delivers wine.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №113094
 07.05.2015
We work in a large organization and support 1c bases throughout Russia. During the processing of applications came this:

Application from Arkhangelsk: Ivanov was in the program and with 01.01.1000 made changes in the program, please return everything back....
Arkhangelsk was founded by the decree of Ivan the Terrible in 1584, what data could there be for 1000 years?

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