A: What is your cat’s name?
H is different. Now is Serena.
A: Is he a boy at least?

The news reports that a Swiss company has purchased from an Arab right to sell a very large diamond weighing 404 carats.
Yyy: I’m a man though not superstitious, but I’t buy a diamond with such a weight for anything.
XXX Why? It’s not 666 carats.
YYY: Well imagine, suddenly it will be stolen?
Yyy: And then, as they say, the end is a bit predicted: 404 Not Found ;)

About the dates of Christmas and Easter (I don’t know who answered):

Because Easter in Christianity is a more ancient holiday than Christmas. Easter was initially linked to the celebration of Peisakh, because in the Gospel of Christ the Tolls were crucified on the day of Peisakh, the Tolls on the day before this (the Gospels themselves differ in this). Since the dates on the solar calendar still nobody knew (they didn't even know what year it was, more precisely, which era this year should be counted), the connection to the lunar calendar was clear. And only in the fourth century the dates of celebrations were broken, so as not to be celebrated together with the Jews (this is exactly how it is formulated in the resolution of the church council). But still the attachment to the first full moon after the spring equinox left. Only the holiday now was to be on Sunday, and in no case to coincide with Paisach (if it coincided, it was postponed to the next full moon).
And the date of Christmas for a long time was not established at all, and different Christian churches celebrated it at different times. According to the solar calendar. There was no Jewish connection to that date.
There is no logic here)))))))

xxx: Before you get married, calculate the cost of a daily housekeeper with the function of washing, cleaning, and cooking.
You will be surprised after the divorce.
YYY: I changed my mind, you may not come.

At work, I often repair the roofs. Our "delicate creatures" periodically tear the socket out of the rotor, as if it had not been deliberately twisted (ah, from all the rope to the rope - chubby!!) is
I make repairs without disconnecting the electricity, singing: "I will kiss the wires and I will not be hit by electricity," which causes horror in our ladies.

The darkness. The girl Tomo says:
You are healthy and red, you have no equals. Your shapes are like beds of spices that smell. You are like a tulip splashing mirra. Your sight is as magnificent as the mountains of Lebanon. Everything is desirable in you.
Are you talking about the cake again? Go to sleep, it’s too late.

XX: Today I will go to the village, potato grain, maybe it will grow.

Then take it and tell them before you land, “Who is the last of those goats?”
They will race!
We did that at school after the phone call. Everyone tried to get out of class earlier. And yes, they’ve all grown up. We are the clowns now! :)
I recommend. :D

And in Tyumen, at the parade, everyone went wrong: officers, tax, police, cadets, military... even three people carried the flag - and then not in the foot.
The only ones who went so that Stalin would applaud were African military students, who will freeze here on exchange not the first year. We call them the "angles".
But given how their teachers went, this is not the merit of Siberia, apparently, still the hard hand of the African dictatorship.

The city bus. At the bus station in the bus comes a tired man-driver with grabbles on a long slide. He sits on a free seat, holds the grable in his hand, the cradle is located vertically. After a couple of stops, a woman enters, stands next to the man, although there are free spaces and grabs the shirt. Further, the bus brakes sharply, the lady flies forward by inertia, the man gets a slide on the forehead. The woman indignated:

I thought it was a mandate! I put it here, you know.

The man looks up, calmly and somehow doomedly says:

Just like my wife. She will crush herself, then strike on me, and even on the forehead can crack.

A few years ago, when my parents were still alive, my wife and I went to host them. We stayed for a week and flew back. A few days later, I got a call from my parents. Laughing, he told me a beautiful story. After our departure, as always, a home inspection was carried out for forgotten things, because they were always there. And here, in the room where we slept, two white sealed bags with incomprehensible powder were found in a glass vase. My dad took drugs and brought it to his mother. The children, it turns out, we have drug addicts, mother. What to do? Is it not drugs? Dad was watching TV. He took a knife, with a careless gesture of the American cop broke the bag and got the powder on the tip of the blade. And then then? have to try. What is the taste of these drugs? The hell knows him. Inhaling, he sent the substance to his tongue. I immediately splashed. I let go. Just the salt in the airplane lunch bag, which I put in my pocket and put in a vase at home. My father apologized for thinking badly about us, and I didn’t get offended. But I still have a smile on my face when I present this scene.

News headline "The Syrian army declined involvement in the bombing of refugee camps"
About 86% of the population of Syria are Muslim
So I see "Syria!! Did you shoot?" "No, of course, this is the cross!"

In Chelyabinsk, friends left their son in the car and went to the store for a short time. When they came, they saw the following picture: The 6-year-old son has a few chocolates (Snickers, Bounty and something else there), he sits down and eats them with pleasure. When asked where he took them, he said he changed them to antiradar. He was left in the front seat, he was sitting with the window open, a man approached him and offered him a chocolate, he took them, and in exchange his uncle asked for this piece that lay on the panel. Antiradar for 5000 exchanged for 3 chocolates.

Nature has a sense of humor. The existence of utkonos or allergy to cats in the son of Kuklaev is a direct proof of this.

My 90 year old grandmother can no longer walk, unfortunately. On May 9, she visited the tomb of her beloved grandfather. The roles of a uncle and a grandmother.

Mom, let you sit on the chair, we’ll bring you.

D - So let me bring the wearers, on them even better.

B - It doesn't eat, they will say "Family" completely mad, a living grandmother on the cemetery is dragged.

My sister has lost weight dramatically in a few years. A little more than half.
I wrote to her under a new photo:
I only have a half-sister now.
And she replied:
Not a half-sister, but a concentrated sister! :)

by 20287. You are a troll or from another universe... for a very long time the employer lives on the principle that there are no irreplaceable people... they are not interested in a responsible and knowledgeable specialist, because he has to pay a good money... most prefer to pay a penny of ignorance, and then scream at every corner that the specialties have moved... especially in the big cities a whole plantation of those who want to get a quality job, and then under various pretext this job does not pay... it is in contrast to such cunning comrades and all these codes and supervisions appeared... for each adequate employer such injuries of 10 pieces, and if you never had to face such a thing, then you are just a lucky person though... fairly, it is worth noting that among workers inadequate is also enough... it is not just worth to sins

You are like a vegan.
YYY: No
YYY: I just felt really better from the kick. Well, without food, it doesn’t work so well, it just doesn’t work with alcohol.
Tagged: fucking
YYY: Thank you for saying

Rus498: Crimean Prosecutor Natalia Poklonskaya passed in the column of the Immortal Regiment with the miraculous icon of Tsar Nicholas II. How does it hint on the royal roots?
by Dima666: No. It just shows that in the prosecutor’s office miracles are not uncommon.

Ctai at the puppy, which sells dog-cat-puppy food, plus these fillers, plus different vitamins... in general, such a puppy. The grandmother approaches, and begins to argue with the girl-seller, where she, the grandmother, bought the cat food, and the cat EAT!!! They argue so for a while, then the girl finally says “well, let’s pack here, I’ll replace you.” And the grandmother... pulls out a bag with this very cat toilet filler.I seem to have scared the grandmother with a too loud whistle...

>>> or the weight on the ball is indicated by representatives of the same civilization. and :)

This is a straw from the marketplace.
I had to visit a collective market in the city of N. The market was located in some old hangar with gates on both sides. Someone opened the second gates and the resulting passageway swallowed several giraffes of varying denominations from the shelves and they swam for a while in a large pit between the rows of shelves, demonstrating complete disregard for the laws of physics.