bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №106634
 10.12.2014
Don’t go into your shit, your Majesty.
You are not you 😉
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Thanks, it refreshed

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №106633
 10.12.2014
Life is in an image similar to Death, only on it instead of a coat - a homemade colored hoodie in drawings, rhinestones and a cap - with a pompon. And in the hands, instead of hair, grabbles.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106632
 10.12.2014
I am an alpha samurai.
ZZZ: A glucose deficiency that is constantly sparkling, hanging and falling?
FFF: Alpha Samurai, Release Samurai, Debag Samurai... True, the latter is difficult to consider a full-fledged being.
ZZZ: Well, compared to the alpha male, the debug male is quite attractive to a full-fledged being.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №106631
 10.12.2014
XXX: The prophetic SMS has arrived: A whole week of mandala...
XXX: So it happened.
xxx: And the poof that in the full version it turned out to be: ALL WEEK MANDARIN PO 11 900

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №106630
 10.12.2014
This
– – – – –
This is Maxim Andreevich, my son, and he is 4.5 years old.
It’s funny, of course, but it won’t be funny when this half of your son’s will be taken away because his father is an idiot and doesn’t know that the taxes for his son are paid by his parents.
– – – – –
A man comes to the military committee with a girl 18 years old and a boy 5 years old, and also with an agenda for Valentine, let’s say Ivanova.
and says:
This is Valentine, and this is Valentine. Whom will you take?
There is such a foolishness everywhere, not just in tax.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106629
 10.12.2014
Working, grey, isn’t it a shame?
I am a former associate professor of the department, a candidate of sciences... And I have three. Three. and what? To go on the path of "science" that no one needs (no, I respect real science, not what is now), to bite the throat for the place of the cabinet, then the dean, then the rector? I do not want! Opened the IP, turned 6 years, tired. Honestly millions not to earn, to sell air - conscience does not allow. So I went to work as a gardener. I have two sections, honest 15 thousand, 3-4 hours a day, working outdoors, there is time for reflection and physical loading. My head stopped getting sick and I slept well. The management company, indeed, decided that I was an alcoholic and a crazy, and I was expelled everywhere. I don’t even know, to run, to bustle, to grasp the grandmother – what’s the point? My wife, by the way, approves, I began to communicate with the child, everything was done at home.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №106628
 10.12.2014
One lady said to me today, “You are a marcipan.
Apparently something in my face caused her to doubt a little and she added:
This is the one that people don’t like.
It is ===
by Ivanov-Petrov

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №106627
 10.12.2014
The Specialist:

A few days ago in the store, a woman standing in front of me in a row tried to find out from the saleswoman why the cheese was so expensive, because it was domestic. People have already begun to suspect something vague, but for now they are still struggling to put suspicions in verbal form.

YYY is domestic. In Russia there is only war. The rest is import.
_________________________

I’m ashamed to ask... the fools have taken us too, right? Can there be any sanctions here to regulate the right way?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №106626
 10.12.2014
This is:

Intelligent girls choose poorly dancing boys

The ideal of a smart girl is a paralytic.
____________

There are smart ones, the rest may not worry. Just miss it.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106625
 10.12.2014
Study the biology.
Just the snakes have no exit from the digestive tract - only the entrance.
Everything is digested without residues.

..................
That is, who once struck my friend on a journey - a mutant or a mistake of nature?

Guys, when you’re writing, check it out. Once upon a time, a family had proven to me that a parrot really blooms once in a hundred years.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106624
 10.12.2014
I’ve done so much for her for "thank you". She doesn’t even touch herself.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Read your own phrase again and realize that "unselfishness" on your part does not smell. Either do not hypocrite and position yourself as a caretaker (but then be ready to leave after receiving a rejection), or friends honestly, and don't pretend to be allowed to kick.
Yes, for the future – help and support in friendship is mutual, not in the gates alone. If you think that you are asymmetrically used in friendship - a person, regardless of gender, not a friend, "and so" - as in a song. But in this case it is you rush to win and deceive trust - so the problem is clearly not that.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106623
 10.12.2014
My mother is 76 years old, she is still not waking up wandering around the house. Toli toilet is looking for Toli refrigerator, passing by my rooms.

What kind of play do you play? (43 for me)
This is Veronica!
Young people, you listen to everything.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106622
 10.12.2014
were at the meeting.
The Deputy Director (year 30) of the hostel says:
Those who work at night write statements.
Behind me, a man sits like this:
And a prize.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106621
 10.12.2014
From a known resource:
Congratulations on your new expression. "Sutkin’s logic and logic. This is when there is an offensive and unfair joke that everyone knows. But you will not bring them all to court – and we will bring them to court in the only place in the world where it is written that this joke is evil, offensive and unfair. This place has a master.

In the course of our half-country on the "Sytkin logic" function...

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №106620
 10.12.2014
xx: recently the guests came, the girl was sitting next to the barley and choked as it smells.
Do you have the smell in your apartment all the time?
xx: he is periodically taken to the toilet to live, so that the cage is not washed
Why is this animal?
xx: he has a small wheel of grid, running 15 km per night.
xx and so on. Yoga runs and cracks, the wheel is as if asphalted by a bark shit.
xx: at the same time he sits in the bucket, i.e. No one sees him at all.
yy: the presence reminds only the smell

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106619
 10.12.2014
I work in a fairly large office, a call is given - the user does not have a laptop on. I tried for a long time to find out what was wrong on the phone, there was no effect, I had to go down. I approach the user, the notebook does not react, I go under the table, I look, and there the electrical outlet almost fell (there is a pillar with electrical, telephone and network outlets). I carefully pull out the plug and insert it into the neighboring socket and - voila - the notepad works. I go back, I think I need to tell the electricians about the problem with the socket, I am, of course, distracted and I forget. I go back to my office and I have the boss(s):
Max, did you go to Julia?
I: Well, and what is it?
(n): Well, the situation, the IT specialist came, something was done, everything worked out, the girl works quietly and suddenly flies and falls, the people fled...
It turned out that the girl had metal bullets on the heads of the boots and she shakes her leg while sitting, touching the socket that fell out.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №106618
 10.12.2014
I just heard:
In any unclear situation - eat cakes! and :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106617
 10.12.2014
Our boss has only a cap from the headscarves, in all other things, the Cherkassian seat is not suitable for the cow.

A couple of times came in the hat earned chased "Sharikov"
I tried different types of winter hats and shapes and shapes, but I didn't put on the papaha: not the head, but a pot with ears.
No one really says anything to him, but whoever he meets, he has a running line in his eyes with the text "I see an idiot."

Today stated in the hat "country", which the cleaner said that the boss in it looks like a Jewish condom
Now we sit with interest looking at the cleaner.


[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №106616
 10.12.2014
XXX: I live on the second floor of the ninth floor. During lunch I looked out the window, and there was a huge puppy down there. She put meat in a bag and threw it out of the window. In the evening I go home, and she is waiting for me right at the door of my apartment and complaining looking. How smart these dogs are 😉
YYY: with the bomb also rides

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106615
 10.12.2014
"Oh, everything" – and you are the king of disputes!

“I, of course, wildly apologize, but in my time everything, in the male team and during the dispute, meant the transition to an active phase of discussion.
"Oh, all" and "in the table"!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna