bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №97993
 16.05.2014
XXX: The chain was forged by Thor, literally, “from the noise of cat’s steps and a woman’s beard.” We saw a female beard, and the Zack Assembly of St. Petersburg banned the "top of cats". Ragnarok is coming!
YYY: Women’s beards are literally banned here too. At least a female beard.
YYY: So once it has been forbidden, it doesn’t go. They are probably afraid of what will happen. That is why they are forbidden!
ZZZ: So all legislative initiatives got a rational and logical explanation.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №97992
 16.05.2014
to this:
All the glasses opened, the locks too, the lock opened, the trunk also opened, even the curtains in the back rose. And that effect from the screwdriver!"

Smiling enough, the Doctor hid the hole in his pocket and began to quickly remove the parts needed for the emergency repair of the TARDIS from the car.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №97991
 16.05.2014
In Latvia for denying the Soviet occupation can begin to plant for 5 years:

The Buddhists are foolish, and they regret that the Second World War has already ended and that it is possible to stop licking the fascists.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97990
 16.05.2014
Comment from Router
I represent the distribution of 2060:
The game only works on 64-core processors and Windows 16
-"And I have a HR, why doesn’t it start?"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №97989
 16.05.2014
1 by Peter:
"Lol guy at the interview came with a conviction for non-licensing car""
2: :D with judgment?? to
2: Stay up and not stand up. How lucky you have to be to be judged.
1st = =
1: Well, yes, and it probably happens.

in 5 minutes

2: We have a guy here coming out from an interview through a glass wall.
The whole office in the office
What is it?))
I think this is not the lucky man with judgment.
1 is straight? Who was he interviewed with?
Judging by costume, p. and :)
1 of ahah)
2 of UGU. Through the wall. The fragments are cleaned.
The negotiating one is called Venus.
Next to you who?
In fact, I was in the party.
1: fuck, hell) sit rju) presented
2: But I did not see
Venus is broken.
1st of AGA)
1: as a man of the journey worried that through the glass came out?
2: I have tried
And then I started worrying even more.)
2: Here is the ingenious guy
I came out with the phrase "well, now you will all remember me for a long time".
2: People are standing
1 is =))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №97988
 16.05.2014
This is:
A piece of literacy :)
Status in "Classmates" at the acquaintance:
"That’s a good thing!"
Tell her that "read" is written separately, let it be corrected.

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97987
 16.05.2014
Yesterday in "European", "Burger King", the girl placed an order, the cashier named the amount, she gives him five thousand dinars. He’s such a sarcasm: There’s no more paper? She silently opened the blade and pulled out the 500 banknote. I swallowed her in front of her nose. The cashier turned red and silently issued an order.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97986
 16.05.2014
It seems that it is time to renew the Vova in the mausoleum.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97985
 16.05.2014
A. decided to put the railway respondent in a difficult position.
A: Buying tickets
RJD: You want to buy tickets. rightly?
A: is correct
RJD: Name the direction.
A: Kaliningrad - New York
RZZD: (long pause, crack in the pipe, then confidently) you want to buy tickets Kaliningrad - Vyšší Voloček. rightly?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97984
 16.05.2014
Galatea23: You may not sing, but still distinguish the notes.
Galatea23: I hear a lie, and I can lie myself.
White: and I do not accept half measure, which means "I can lie"... I believe that if you can, then you must definitely do it.
White: I am constantly lying.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97983
 16.05.2014
Aaa: And I have after 1000 points in "Well, wait!", the cartoon showed. I was in the hospital for a long time. He hurt.

BBB: I had the same. Also a brain shock.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №97982
 16.05.2014
Ter Ra (0:45): In the middle of the first night, going to the kitchen for water, I found in the corridor wheels... removed from the car. Three things. I decided to enter them. I went in and realized I wasn’t going out...I had to call my mom. Can you imagine her face?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №97981
 16.05.2014
Dear Crimeans, do not turn Crimea into Sochi, do not let Armenians come to you! I want my children and I to be able to relax comfortably at home, but I will not go to Sochi anymore.
All good and happy.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №97980
 16.05.2014
Home Weekends Turn off the phones (leave a message on the respondent that you are resting). Get up early so that the child still sleeps (as an option - give for the day to relatives. Take a full bath of water. Take the pre-built oil for the bath. Soak in a pleasant warmth. Relax to. and dream. Take a pre-pulled glass of juice from the washer. Remember the advertisement, smile. Relax further. After half an hour, go out and wrap yourself in a warm towel. Dry up. Makeup, hair, take care of the skin and hair. Stretch your favorite underwear, paint in it in front of the mirror. Down the hair. Remember how many greedy male looks you’ve seen lately, how many silly compliments, transparent hints and direct requests. Smile in revenge and say, “A fig to you!”". Then sit in front of the TV (computer), turn on your favorite movie and devote the whole evening to pleasant nothing.
It is class! The advice is great!! Just a bit strange to hear it from you)))
Five years in a group with 20 girls don’t go for nothing.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №97979
 16.05.2014
This is the "right" gay. He lives as he thinks necessary and does not tell anyone about it, not to go to parades. And the main thing is not convincing others of some of their rights and their uniqueness. To be friends with such or not - to decide in each case. The Propaganda Act aims to reduce the number of "non-traditional" relationships
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The Propaganda Act aims to disturb society with Super Important Issues, so that society actively discusses them. Don’t feed society with bread, let us talk about morality, the fall of morals and a rotten Europe. In the meantime, the real problems in the state are not even going to be solved. She noted that people who are busy with business, as a rule, do not care who sleeps with whom and who prays. And since the Russian society is, in the masses, a society of arrogant, clever lazy people - they just have enough time to discuss all this wild shit. Any normal person from childhood knows that people should be judged by their actions, not by orientation, faith, color of skin and place of residence.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №97978
 16.05.2014
As a person who grew up on the asphalt, I hardly notice the beauty of straight corners and strict lines, but the twisted path, nestled on a strictly rectangular lawn with evergreen grass, is nice to me. It reminds me that there are still living souls moving on two legs in this messy rush of geometry and automotive industry.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №97977
 16.05.2014
The Knowledge:

In Yerevan, they are much quieter than in Russia, where in the evening you scatter from every shadow, and there you can walk alone, nobody will ever hurt. In general, they are very nice and hospitable people. Not the example of our arrogant Russians.

Hope, hope... A male being wrote or was close to him, I suppose? But two modestly dressed light-Russian girls, even in the daytime, even on the people's street, will not be allowed to walk away without climbing and holding hands to the store for food.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №97976
 16.05.2014
This is:
— — —
The world is full of paradoxes, I stand waiting for my wife in the courtyard. next to a large field of fresh-planted lawn, there are paved paths. It is not all (all!) The inhabitants of a nearby huge house are stopping on the lawn. I am 100% sure that these are the same people who are so fiercely riding on drivers who are riding the wheel on the lawn.
— — —
Have you tried to walk from this house on the path to the stop?
We have new trails made fairy: where they are not convenient to walk, and where they are needed - they are not. For example, the trail can suddenly curl or end up in a deadlock, and to get to the next piece of pavement tiles in the right direction you need to either walk along a grass of 5 meters, or make a 50-metre hook. Or, elsewhere, a sidewalk flowing smoothly into the parking lot. To walk on the sidewalk you need to take to the left for 5 m, climb the staircase, go 20 meters and descend from another sidewalk, turn 5 m to the right to return to the sidewalk after the finished parking area. The slopes for the descent / lifting of the wheelchairs are not provided, the steps have disintegrated in a year (I don't know what they are made of). "They walked on foot" on the parking lot. The feeling that houses are built in a spherical vacuum, without attachment to the terrain or to the surrounding infrastructure.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №97975
 16.05.2014
Dialogue with the Supplier (P)
I: -Good morning, please account: Spiral tape heat resistant, 10 type size - 20m.
Colour black
A: Good day to you! There are no spiral black stripes available, only natural color is available in stock.
I: I’m afraid to sound like an idiot, but natural to you is what?
A: It is a transparent color.


[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №97974
 16.05.2014
As my girlfriend said: “It’s good to be single-celled: eat well! It’s like that in the clothes."

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