A letter from the Ministry of Finance with the recommendation to tax the income tax of drinking water by an office employee.
One of the comments:
Drinking water and paying taxes.
received a tax deduction.

A call in the middle of the night, a friend calls. I thought something important. I take the phone, there are hellish screams: "Fuck, House wants to cut off his leg!!!" and then go on.

Leo: Well, he’s a bit crazy, but funny. He was in an accident last year, clinical death was, drowned. From the hospital when he left, put the status in aske "age 24 years, aptim 41 days" :))

I am standing in the store of advanced mint beer buys
Professional bottle
Seller: No such
The goat give ept.

I go to a friend (D), drink a beer... I wanted to go to the toilet, went, and walked from there:
I: I smoke in the toilet, or I like to bite and smoke at home!
D: Kuri, just don’t tell your neighbors about it, no sound insulation.
A man’s voice is heard across the wall of the toilet: “So I like to fuck and smoke.”
The Curtain

According to the article, 82% of students enrolled at the Moscow University’s Faculty of Journalism, including 15 EGE students, failed to dictate.
one of the comments: "this is such a powerful flashmob of first-class students
In order to attract attention to the Albanian language and make it the second state language! and "

Yyy: You can’t imagine how cool it is when you can tell your girlfriend jokes about small breasts without fear.

of the conversation.
(x)... yes, it is time to write a will.
Oh, write me something!
(x) The Light cannot be so mercantile. I will tell you to be kind, honest, to obey your mom, dad, and future husband.
If I listen to my mom and dad, I’ll never get married!! to

A young but well-known fantasy writer told us behind the pit at Aelita’s picnic that he wrote his first novel at the age of 25 to impress a girl he was irresponsibly in love with.
xxx> we ask him - well, she eventually read it?
he - only after he came out on paper, and she got married, and my husband became a fan of my novels, and forced her to read :D
xxx> Anka our, thoughtfully - yeah... you didn't hide the pig that girl put under... directly avenged.

“When someone’s child says some obvious nonsense, I want to say, ‘Well, what a little stupid bitch?’ I love kids, yes.

Just shock (or chic, who likes it the most)
painting with oil: Novosibirsk, Marx's Square, for non-locals I will explain - an eternal gathering of Gypsies, Churks, Alkas, Gopniks and Majorists on cars near the TC. On Thursday, heat below 30 degrees, a crowd of Gypsies of 20, looking for a victim, rubs around the parking lot. Toyota Mark2, tinted in a circle with open front windows. During the driving cycle, another man drinks some type of coca-like liquid. It is natural to get to the urn and throw out the bottle - above its dignity, as a result of which the bottle trivially flies on the sidewalk. From the crowd of Gypsies breaks out a aunt, raising a bottle and with the words "Home is rubbish!He meticulously throws a bottle through the window into the car... the courage to deal with the crowd of Gypsies in the boy is not visible, the windows are closed, the car leaves in an unknown direction.
Applauded by standing ?

<KatriN> good night
<inter> good night
<Badun> nihuya he is not good
<Badun> give a cigarette five... and then there will be the norm ))
<Badun> or pieces at least three (
<inter> or one...
<Badun> the bull...
<inter> just a filter
<inter> foil from package
<Kenny> to see who is smoking
<inter> photo of cigarettes
<Kenny> film with Oleg Tabakov

Rei: It was very good now, generally:
I, a little white girl under an orange umbrella, am waiting for a tram. It rains, there are no trains. I feel someone standing next to me, I turn around and I see that a huge uncle, a tough one, with a beard, in a shirt, and a guitar on his shoulder, is attached to me under the umbrella. I frightened in misunderstanding glanced at him, and he was so complaining to me, rounding his eyes: "Sorry, please, I just have a wet beard..."

Gay, Kiev proved that if you name yourself correctly, for example "March of Consensus" and carry the correct slogans - "Government, do with us what you want", "Let us kiss everywhere",the gay parade can still be held. Think about...

(@Protey) fucking, I read excerpts from the history of illness. Really
(@Protey) The patient did not live a sexual life before the arrival of the ambulance.
The patient is active in bed, often changing poses.
(@Protey) When examining the external genital organs, no violations were detected - eggs in the scrotum.
(@Protey) The patient is in deep depression and is constantly crying. Besides, she seems to be somewhat upset.
(@Protey) Diagnosis: A flat wound of the right rear hemisphere.
(@CfYz) the half pocket???? to
(@Protey) Record in a woman’s medical card: "Member without pathology".

Ferguson is a pedestrian with a mirror.

Children’s Day is dedicated.
The past story of tea = cooking.

There is a saying that if you want a child to grow a vegetable or weed, send him to his grandmother in the village. She also educates what she can and how she can, and these grandmothers usually know nothing. And that “nothing” of such children then grows up. And we, the students of the capital linguistic university, had to get in a building squad in a distant Volgograd village. Around the village - consistent zones, and in the nearby district center - settlers. And another public. Somewhere far away was the town of Kotlas. No civilization, we build a railway through the forest debris somewhere to the woods. The squad is purely male, there are a couple of chefs around whom the commissioner, the commander, the enterprise climb. For us, the ordinary soldiers of the squad obviously did not light up with entertainment anything. And next to our construction is an abandoned village, in which a couple of old women and grandchildren aged 3-4, abandoned by tender parents for the summer to grandmother. This grandmother did not think about almost anything and the boy was obviously tired of such a life. Therefore, the appearance in the zone of visibility of the building order for him was like the appearance of aliens. Every day he came and quietly sat in the side and opened his mouth watching how we swirled the railway tracks. and silence. But we were not silent, we spoke and for a little language practice each spoke in the language that was his specialty. English French German Italian Spanish. They also specialize in understanding additional languages. It should be understood that the literary content in our negotiations was minimal. In Russian analogues sound even more diverse. Until this happened. One day, one of us turned to a boy forgetting to speak Spanish. And he in pure castilian to him maternally and answered. Surprised, the other of us turned to the boy in German - the one about the same topic to him in German. It turned out that the guy had just a wonderful memory and musical hearing. He remembered everything, he could sing any of our songs by listening to it only once. All our foreign talks ended and we started teaching the language.
We talked to him for a month and a half and he, a child, answered us equally.
20 years of linguistics. An amazing talent. Give God that in those wilderness in the midst of the depressing wilderness his talent is not plunged into dirt and misery. God let him not be like everybody else.

Having raised my three children I will say the main thing - all children are talented and genius up to 5-7 years old. And then start growing all that you have invested in them in these years. Do not trust them in these years stupid old ladies.
Stretch and try to give them as much as possible and be rewarded according to your merits.

“If we made girls, they’t break either.” – BMW
“If we were to make girls, they’d beat you on the first date.”
c) The car

I live next to a student house in a small family. My entrance is 10 steps from the entrance.
I come back somehow from night walks. There is a beautiful German Shepherd. The time is 5:20 in the morning, the public office opens only at 6. Following me is a girl, obviously a student, polite like this:
A: Hello to you! My name is Alice, and where are you going?
Hi, I am going home.
A: Do you think we’ll be released this morning?
I: I’m allowed, I don’t know you. We have evil...
A: Yes, it is really evil. How did you agree with her?
I: I usually bring her what she loves.
A: And what is it?
My favorite is crisp bones.
Alice with her falling jaw stops at the entrance to the community. I am with the words "good dreams!" going into my entrance.

The next night. I go out of the entrance with the pet, to meet Alice.
A: This is what your watch!
I (laughing stupidly) was the one.
Suddenly, a vengeful student takes out a toy bone from the bag and wraps it into bushes. My dear woman on the leash crashes from her place, seeing a delight, and plunges me into the pit.
And good dreams! and good dreams!
Tomorrow will be two months when we meet with Alice. We periodically beat the dog with bones. Everyone is happy)

You have four breasts!
Sss: Well fuck it :( It’s acne...
Do you have four pimples?