bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №14595
 18.02.2009
Oh, youth... There was a time when I was explaining to my son why the Mermaid and the Terminator are talking in one voice!

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №14594
 18.02.2009
and Anchay:
I read the news on Yandex over the last few days:
1st The French Defense Ministry confirmed on Monday the collision of French and British nuclear submarines in the Atlantic Ocean.
2nd Two passenger trains collided in the Czech Republic.
Three On February 11, two satellites collided over Siberia for the first time.
On the 14th of February, the two find each other.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №14593
 18.02.2009
My 3 year old son is in the bus. A grandfather standing next to the child begins a conversation:
Where are we going with my mom?
To my grandfather.
What are you and your grandfather going to do?
Drink the vodka!
There is no scene, the laughter of my mother. Everyone around me had to explain that they were just going to paint the boat to grandfather.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №14592
 18.02.2009
<chrome> how these shoes with wheels are called
<chrome> type of rollers
<chrome> wheels are removed and you can walk
<Spring> and Spring>

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №14591
 18.02.2009
We start gymnastics for those who read Bach.

The minimum program:
Straighten the back.
Remove the hand from the beard.
I closed my eyes for 5 seconds.

The optimum program:
They stood up, stood up, and made a couple of easy fastenings.

The maximum program:
- Press the cross in the upper right corner and push to work-sleep-eat-have sex-feed a cat-walk a dog-prepare for the exam (need to emphasize)

Do not eat at the table!! to

P.S Thank you very much to the one who first wrote about the left hand on the beard! Your contribution to the health of the nation is invaluable, friend!

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №14590
 18.02.2009
<Loki iv Kusto>Today was on medical examination in the military department. (D) the dermatovenerologist is hot=)
Are there complaints on the skin?
I do not.
Did the girls have sexual contacts?
I was.
D is protected?
and yes.
D Why?

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №14589
 18.02.2009
xxx: what is "Nastja is typing" in the window, and nothing appears?
YYYY: Well... how... Nastia is stupid ;)

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №14588
 18.02.2009
The companion was in the army, the combat gave them the task to the clerk to peel the branches on the trees to a height of two meters, well, the clerk said to the deputy, the deputy gathered the clerk and said, it was necessary to peel the trees to a height of two meters, well, the boys took the gasoline seals and peeled, left such beautiful clean pni two meters in height, the clerk when he saw the oral pleased, "you're going to cheat the pydoras tomorrow the branches back you'll be knocking".)))))

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14587
 18.02.2009
From the forum.kaspersky.com

SvetlanaSemenenko
28 July 2005 08:20
Dear Defenders of Viruses.
I have a problem with viruses. My computer is starting to behave inappropriately. As long as I did not insist on it (on myself), it started to turn off in the middle of the day. Sometimes it turns off, sometimes not.
Our computer engineers said that this malicious virus has stolen into my folders and could destroy everything there. It was recommended to ask for help here, from leading virus engineers.
And another problem. A neighbor’s computer has a Kaspersky program installed, which shows us a umbrella every morning. There was no rain and there was no rain. Computer scientists say this program is just catching viruses at this point, and we think it’s lying about the weather. Who of us is right?
Thanks in advance. and Svetlana.

Tristram
28 July 2005 09:53
5 Points

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №14586
 18.02.2009
What is the name of the new GTA? Who knows?
Tagged: gta4
zzz: Captain Evidence is back with us.

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14585
 18.02.2009
Where are the prices in these regions? In Moscow 10000Kbit / s (I write - ten thousand kilobits, so there is no disagreement), for some wooden 850 rubles!!! to

Dmitry Anatolyevich make a slide, so that it is everywhere as well as in Moscow! I voted for you!

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №14584
 18.02.2009
Matthew Spg. Prep: "We write the definition: a matrix is a rectangular table with numbers. Everything is good in this definition, except for three things: the matrix is not rectangular, it is not a table, and it does not contain numbers.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №14583
 18.02.2009
J**s ‎(12.02.2009 16:17)
The film yesterday watched 7 lives, there he got into the DTP and because of it 7 people died, so he gave 7 of his organs to those who needed a transplant and his girlfriend gave his heart and died (such as a melodrama), so I offer 2 part to shoot where this devaha kills all these people and collects it in parts, whose eyes, whose kidneys, in the film will be


[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №14582
 18.02.2009
Moorze
Children are terrible...

by Lestat
Gandalf is unfair.

by Lestat
And the children of Gandons are terribly unfair!

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №14581
 18.02.2009
Status in aske "We fuck and we strengthen"

Kanupriya (15.02.09) : Are you back at work?
Shaman-massagist (15.02.09) : Ugu :((
Kanupriya (15.02.09) : What did he do?
Shaman-massagist (15.02.09) : Taking a food film, went into the sorting for the staff. He raised the hood and the seat. I wore the toilet myself.
Kanupriya (15.02.09) : Dalmatian... :)))
Shaman-massagist (15.02.09) : When you stretch the film, nothing is noticeable. I drank coffee and sat down at the end of the hallway to watch the picture.
Shaman-massagist (15.02.09) : The first director went to the toilet. It came out quickly...
Kanupriya (15.02.09) : And how did she know that it was you?
Shaman-massagist (15.02.09) : And do we have other idiots at work? It is :)
Kanupriya (15.02.09) : Exactly :))))
Kanupriya (15.02.09) : And what did she tell you? What recovery?
Shaman-massagist (15.02.09) : Deprived of the prize. He said it was the last warning.
Kanupriya (15.02.09) : Do you have a big prize?
Shaman-massagist (15.02.09) : I do not know. I have never received. It’s not a fate... :(
Kanupriya (15.02.09) : Exactly so. by Dolphin ?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №14580
 18.02.2009
I work in the administration, my grandmother recently came, said she was dissatisfied with the work of the administration and will complain to Obama :D

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №14579
 18.02.2009
Thor: Wondering, are Hindus making documentary movies?
Grey Lion: ah.... I can imagine a film about the Second World War for example - "Zitler and Hitler" :))

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №14578
 18.02.2009
Today’s children are fascinated by fantasy.
He was taught with his younger brother, but he did not like it.
Well, I told him to compose while I smoked.
When he returned, he said what he wrote, and what you would think:
I bought a horse.
I will not show you.
Taking such eggs.
I am crazy about them.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №14577
 18.02.2009
I sit at work, on the radio is a survey on the topic: "Child fears". Well, as everyone believes, who is dark, who is high and here among all:
And I still don't like ice cream, my grandmother in childhood forced me to eat it with bread, so that the throat didn't get cold.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №14576
 18.02.2009
I don’t kill time, it kills me.

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