bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127798
 07.05.2016
Nicaragua, he or she?
He is a Central American macho. There are four: El Salvador, Nicaragua, Honduras, Belize. And four hot chics: Panama, Costa Rica, Guatemala and Mexico.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127797
 07.05.2016
What should be the ideal weight?

However, for example, after the last medical examination, we had to get some to eat and go to doctors, or the average plant weight was ~66 kg.

My grandfather all his adult life weighs about 60 kg, appears to be dry. He worked at the factory from his childhood, watched the north, in general, engaged in physical labor. Deep in retirement, he stumbled on the centurion-pumped men on the armrestling, and survived them all, some 10-15 years younger than him. 85 recently knocked, complains that all the friends-neighbors have died, say, except for the grandmother of peers at all, there is no one to bother about the hungry military childhood. Health and strength are not determined by weight.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №127796
 07.05.2016
Imagine the situation
A man comes to the store.
Bread for 20 rubles.
He goes to the box and rubs the cashier, who will pay for this bread 10 rubles.
And that it is economically more profitable to sell it at this price than not to sell at all.

And then threaten to complain to the supervisor.
Laughter is
There are a lot of defenders here.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127795
 07.05.2016
10 copies
Nothing is recent. Lincoln for a lawyer. He is 10 years old, if not more.

Do you have fun with Google? Film of 2011. Is there a calculator? Would you help me count?

And yes, for many people who are not chasing for the latest news of the season, a five-year-old film falls into the category of "recent".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127794
 07.05.2016
In Moscow collected five tons of food for the needy inhabitants of villages.

They burned by habit.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127793
 07.05.2016
You know, I feel like I’m sympathetic to her. Well, she... how it will be, the opposite...
Wauu (sleeping voice): is it parasympathetic?

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127792
 07.05.2016
But here is not. The first rulers were expelled from Paradise not for the occupation of the same (for this they were created), but for the fact that the apples were sprinkled in the dust. On the advice of friends.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127791
 07.05.2016

“Kusumus Langus Pangus Kusmus!”

Do you think magic and someone now on the answers of mayl.ru tried to impose a curse on the moderator or call Ktolhu? Here is FIG for you!
The man remembered the name of the dish from cabbage "bigos".

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127790
 07.05.2016
The means to increase desire in women is called "shuba". It works great.
YYY: And, paradoxically, it works regardless of the season (chess and mat representatives of traditional science).

A means to increase the desire in women is called a skilled lover, who is able to deliver her orgasm, and the shirt increases the imitation of the desire of women, if the lover only cares about the slime of his sexual tension.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127789
 07.05.2016
>> Living with parents - their child; judging by style - young. Maximalism, "I am a personality" and all that. We swim, we know.
I also after a couple of first salaries tried to allocate separate shelves in the refrigerator, with a subsequent explanation of who I am, where I came from, what I can do and what arrangements to arrange (wherever, but separately). I realized.

Oh, that is, the fact that a person agreed on this with their parents (that is, the parents agreed, strangely enough!Isn’t it embarrassing you either? I’ll uncover a secret: when people say and promise one thing and do another, it’s not good. Even if these people are your parents.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127788
 07.05.2016
x: "the majority of the population" is indifferent to everything in general. Except for alcohol and vodka.
Y: With a more or less normal life, yes!
Z: With enough vodka, any life is normal

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №127787
 07.05.2016
How it is male-to try to force women to work almost free of charge.
and when refusing to threaten to write a complaint, to teach your sofa economy

Come with this mood in the garage to the men, you will be very surprised by the result.

and here
The aunt, too, should be glad that the egg was drawn, the kind he himself has already given a gift and honor.
Remove the crown, not all women are social prostitutes.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №127786
 07.05.2016
But people who read morality can not go to the store if you suspect that you don’t have enough and... probably only Vivaldi’s concerts are watching, scrupulously counting which philharmonic is two hundred cheaper.

We listen to and read ballet.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127785
 07.05.2016
The Habr:

On May 5, Russian Communications Minister Nikolai Nikiforov announced the start of work on the creation of a domestic mobile operating system.

EYEaM: I also decided to do sports. I buy a gym subscription, sportswear, shoes. I waste a lot of money. And then I do nothing.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127784
 07.05.2016
Expansion of the STL library for C++. The translator demonstrates how it is possible to go beyond the boundaries of common sense and broaden the eyes of the reader, using the principles of poor knowledge of the subject and tight trio in English. in the count.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127783
 07.05.2016
How to hack Telegram and WhatsApp: no intelligence services needed
xxx: For everyone who has not yet included two-factor authorization for any reason: [link]
YYY is authentication.
zzz: Oh, this sect witnesses the dramatic difference between authorization and authentication and both from identification.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №127782
 07.05.2016
How will you file a complaint?

Another untouched was painted. For every dirty little thing with cheap pants, complaints in Rospotrebnadzor will be enough to soften it: "Mom, bring me back."
Take the next.

"Cast the evil aunt, she doesn’t want to work for free"?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127781
 07.05.2016
14:05 Dear: Have you already worn a dress shirt and golf shirts, chested and dulled in expectation?
02:35 korvin: I have even split and shirt, and golf games, and even trousers. I lay in bed naked and drunk.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127780
 07.05.2016
1st Platon - the money collected by the system will be used for urgent repairs of local roads

Here comes the abbreviation system:
– Tell me, Plato, will you give all the money to repair the roads?
Yes, the reduction
Is it not your money?
Yes, the reduction
So you really have no money.
You are right, short.
If you don’t have money, you don’t have to give anything.
How wise you are, short!

[ + 31 - ] [10 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127779
 07.05.2016
I look at the Ukrainian government – here is where Chernobyl has opened up!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna