I work in support. I call a user:
Can I hear Alexander?
He is not there, he will be on Wednesday.
Can I talk to his exchanger?
He will also be on Wednesday.

How long do you run 6 km?
YYY: A minute in 35-40?
My grandmother is running faster!
YYY: Well, no... what is the KMS on the run?

Rospotrebnadzor has banned the sale of two supplements to strengthen potency.
The first comment is, fucking! I still have to break my finger and bite my tongue.

...and his last two words that day at work were "THE HORSE!"))

<blzz> blasphemy I went to the U.S.S. to the serwak, but my fingers so betrayingly lay on the wasd.

I recently went to one of the hospitals.

Operational, wait with the surgeon until the patient (man) is prepared for the leg prothesis.

Nurse: work with your fist... * insert an needle *... you can press
Surgeon: What did she say? Can you give birth?
I: Yes, doctor, he’ll be born here and we’ll get the Nobel Prize and a million backs from above.
Surgeon: Oh, and a p$d from the boss!

by Alexey Pehov

According to him, on the night of May 3, five “Askera” fighters entered into conflict with the driver of one of the cars passing through Chongar. “One of the Askers got the grenade of the RGD and began to shout: ‘I will blow you up now!’ and the man, quite frightened, pressed the gas pedal,” Zhuravko described the incident.
Then, as the former deputy of the Rada notes, the fighter placed a grenade in the pocket of the unloading vest, forgetting to insert the check back. Then there was an explosion".
I forgot. to insert. Check it out, Carl! I can forget my cell phone at home. I can still forget about a friend’s birthday. I can forget to buy it in the store. And a check! With a grenade! Put it in your pocket!

She worked in the head office of the office, which has five branches across Russia. Once every couple of months, there was a need to send a note to all the branches and get a response from them.

The most remote branch of the office was in Magadan. And it was with him that the most difficulties arose: the e-mail they used to boycott, but it was simply impossible to take and write a letter for some reason, it was necessary to call and ask a lot of questions from the series "You sent a letter asking how many of our employees work under the contract. That means you need to write that – under the contract we have so many employees?". And with Magadan, we have a time difference – eight hours, exactly a working day, so calling us to them was not so easy. One day, a lady from the Magadan branch still called and started a conversation from the raid: "Why no matter how I call you, you are never there, you work there?" All the stereotypes about the Moscovites, who consider their city the center of the world, are blatant!

From the game Eve Online:
Leader: They say it’s a very difficult game. What do I need to do in advance to learn her Azam?
For this you need to spend a couple of hours and read a few tutorials.
Leader: Let’s say I don’t want to waste so much time. Can we learn it faster?
Special for people like you, there are tutorials that you need to spend fifteen hours on.

Are you late for half an hour today? and :)
Konstantin: Something with Skype is some kind of fiddle instead of letters.
Constantine: try to write on another topic.
Dmitry Hm. It seems like you’ve written something for a long time, and you’ve got one word – "yes"))
You have a caterpillar, do you know?
Dmitry: Yes, I also like it.

I don't know if it will work, but I fixed it.

From the machine rebellion we will be saved by the aunt of the accounting.

You get out of the shelter, you see a broken Skynet and Alephtina’s aunt “I didn’t press anything!”

The YouTube Video:

Xxx: Is it possible to cross the river and walk in the Chinese Haihei without a visa in Blagoveshchensk?

Yyy: You can, if you swim quickly and run quickly.

Zzz: Just swim over and you will have 4 stars and you will be surrounded by cops)

Go to the store to buy screws. There is a bad drill in the eyes.
You think, fucking, it’s a pity that there’s no money for drill now.

Here you start to be taught - not to go shopping.

IceLoKi: I went home on the way to the food shop today. This is not the course that our country follows. Yesterday in the store cherry cost 1100 rubles / kg, and today 295 - here is where the world conspiracy, here is where the intrigue, here is where the course jump!

The minimum requirements for work are the same as for a sexual partner - so that it does not cause disgust.

On the Day of Victory.
With sadness...
My father was during the war on duty at the station, then deputy chief of the station, served as an engineer-captain. After the war, he was assigned a major and placed in a colonel's position, leading a large sorting station. Her mother was a lieutenant of the steam service and also worked in a steam deck.
Naturally, to sit with me and my sister, a housewife was hired – a miserable village girl who fled to the city from the Kursk village destroyed during the war from the village hunger. We lived in a communal house with our neighbors, and our housewife lived in the former bathroom.
There were no spouses of her age - almost all died on the front, although over the weekend she met with some soldiers from the nearby HQ. She didn't really like our bathroom and as soon as the opportunity came, she went to the brick factory, where they gave a dormitory. She worked there until her retirement, and on a brick for a woman - forced labor.
Sometimes she came to talk to my mother. He never married, not for whom. But she was pleased that she went to the city, here the factory gave her a one-bedroom apartment, and in the village her friends lived in the ruins, somehow rebuilt after the war.
These are the same rural grandmothers who fed the country that forgot about them, and which the country didn’t care about, and about which the city’s puppies spoke with contempt – the village!

“Oh, the war, what have you done, fucking...”

A severe blow to the Duma has caused a new law that in case of absence at the workplace for a month or more will be deprived of parliamentary mandates. A 12-day working year will not endure every member of parliament!

I don’t know how there was in the barbershop, but for nothing in my life I would have agreed to treat (I’m a dentist) a person who on the threshold demands from me a discount of two-thirds of the price. Not because I am unprofitable, a frog or lazy suffocates, just from such people a lot of problems and brainstorming.
Moreover, even if this person decided to be treated for the official price, I would still refuse him. You should not contact such people - it will only be worse.

I sit in the evening, recalling my childhood loudly: "I want a butter ice cream or a plombier to forge it out of a cup of waffle, put it in a bowl, rub chocolate on a thrash and eat a spoonful, snacking with the same cup." My husband is so suddenly: "And I want! Do it to me. We have a trick"