bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №127638
 03.05.2016
During the student years, I rented an apartment - I (a girl), a fellow student and a fellow student. Everyone in the room. And here the fellow student found an unpleasant habit of walking around public places naked. Not that we didn’t know anything about the male anatomy, but when you eat breakfast in the kitchen, and next door, bending with the letter zhu, the naked neighbor checks if what he put in the oven did not work out – this does not contribute to appetite (not to mention that I just didn’t know that an adult person can have so much acne). The conversations did not lead to anything - we are just hanji and don't like naturality, and the body must breathe!

One day, once again seeing the perspective, which is not in every porn you will meet, the neighbor did not stand and handed the lover of naturality bubble drops from the cold with the words: "Breathe your nose, Cole!".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127637
 03.05.2016
to this:
DISTURBED vocalist David Draiman during a performance on March 23 in Dallas addressed one of the spectators in the hall during a break between the songs.
It turned out that she was corresponding with her daughter, who was in hysteria because of the storm. Eventually he apologized to her.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127636
 03.05.2016
A relative who sells wallpapers, told this story: a buyer calls her and says, I bought wallpapers from you, and one roll is broken, with rotten flowers. with rotten as it turned out to mean that the flowers look down, on the offer to turn the roll up the legs long rusted and apologized :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127635
 03.05.2016
When a child grows up, he has a privilege – he can, if he does not want, not eat manna flour. But for this freedom he is forced to work almost every day until 60 years old.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127634
 03.05.2016
We won’t live in this country.
YYY: Would you die?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127633
 03.05.2016
Talk of sister and girlfriend:
Q: I don’t use flash on my phone. It makes the image flat.
C : Oh! Take a picture of her stomach.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127632
 03.05.2016
I go home from my parents, in my pocket I burn the alarm from the car, I approach the entrance, I get the keys from the car, I press on the control to open, I pull the door - I wonder why the entrance did not open, because there was a burning burn somewhere nearby...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127631
 03.05.2016
I click in the search engine now "who...", and the first outgoing hint surprisingly surprises - "who am I?". and unexpectedly. I see, spiritually and with an unprecedented scale in the people celebrate holidays.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127630
 03.05.2016
I recently listened to a dialogue between two girls aged 13-14 on the street. The girls looked at the inscriptions that someone had made on the wall.
First Virgin: Some anal inscriptions.
2nd Virgin: 8 [ ]
1st: Anal inscriptions, I say...
2: In what sense?
1: Well, when the author has not signed.
2 is anonymous.
1: What did I say?

I read a joke about the blonde.
My new boyfriend is a veterinarian.
Chapter 2: Have you fought?
No, this is the one who doesn’t eat meat.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127629
 03.05.2016
Tell me what kind of music you use when cleaning the house and I'll tell you which generation you are from :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127628
 02.05.2016
And yes, there is such a thing, like a button, necessary if many circles are drawn from the same center, so as not to scroll a hole in the vatman.
Thank you unknown friend. Without sarcasm - from childhood (at drawing lessons), and until the end of work on the culman (because they were replaced by an autocad with unigraphics), I didn't even guess why in the cooking room this little shit, and only one.
Z is. I did not have to ask, because because of its apparent uselessness this "button" usually did not delay in the cooking room :D

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127627
 02.05.2016
Every born child will grow up in love and care. Children’s homes, shelters, colonies for minors will not be needed. The population of the Earth will sharply decrease, the problem of overpopulation and lack of resources will disappear. In each country will grow a generation of good and honest people who will unite and transform the planet. The class?! to

A world without suffering can only be built by destroying all who are capable of suffering.
(Irina Syromyatnikova, "My life")
This quote is remembered to me every time I read about another utopia with an inclination to eugenics.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127626
 02.05.2016
Here you are so smart and good, but where are you all in real?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127625
 02.05.2016
I do not like smartphones.
This is what you have?
This is iPhone.
Is the iPhone not a smartphone?
No, smartphones are on Android.
and clearly.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127624
 02.05.2016
and Hey! Philologue, say an antonym to the word "philologue"!
and fucking.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №127623
 02.05.2016
It is difficult to contain laughter when the next character comes to terminate the contract on the internet, because he bought a WIFI WIFI router.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127622
 02.05.2016
We live in Germany. We learn about religious holidays either from relatives or from social networks.
Today is Orthodox Easter!
I : Yes.
Do you want to cook an egg?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127621
 02.05.2016
On the morning of May 2, GIBDD stopped twice. Did you drink yesterday? How about health and self-esteem? The therapist doesn’t ask me how to get GIBD after the holidays. I offer them, in addition to the rod, a stethoscope to hand to immediately listen to bronchitis. Good good hybrid. He sits under a tree. Inhibits the fox wolf and frog and worm and forest spider)))

[ + 19 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127620
 02.05.2016
This opponent :

>>>> > Read and learn You really didn’t understand...

I don’t understand anything, dear, why do I hide? Do you consider aggression and humility to be an additional argument in the discussion, or simply do not know how to communicate otherwise?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127619
 02.05.2016
Microsoft has found a way to create a data storage device that can store virtually unlimited amounts of information for as long as you want.

xxx you are! You can finally save it on the Internet flash!


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