bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №14415
 11.02.2009
A real dialogue on ecology
Teacher: What are limiting factors?
Student: Let me better explain to you by example.
P: So let it go.
C: Imagine a desert.
P: Well...
There are elephants living there.
Q: Well... let me say.
If there suddenly grows a forest...
P: Where is it? In the desert?
C: Well you just imagine.
P: It is well.
C: If the forest grows there, all the elephants will die of hunger.
Q: Why is it!? to
C: They can’t hunt rabbits.
What kind of rabbits??? Why can’t they???! to
C: In the desert, the trees will run to interfere with them.
Q:...? :D

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №14414
 11.02.2009
mKostya: bro нада 50 wmz
Tagged: urgent
Awa: has gone
MKostya: Nothing came
Awa: Gone out of my ass

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №14413
 11.02.2009
How will Chihuahua be multiplied?
and dohuahua!

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №14412
 11.02.2009
Can I stay in Swindon with your parents?
“Naturally,” the fool shouted, “of course! How much you want! Everyone will be happy. Their apartment is huge. Bata is a correspondent member, Momsa is a honored artist. You will be hosted by housekeepers...The only condition is not to say that we know each other. Otherwise everything is gone. When I was fourteen, I was a disgrace to my family.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №14411
 11.02.2009
It is funny when atheists in the traditionally Orthodox country celebrate a Catholic holiday – Valentine’s Day.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №14410
 11.02.2009
by RW_Fedko
Lectures are fun.
Prepod actively explains what an indefinite integral is:
What is the "undefined integral" in essence? Behemoth, giraffe, number or function?
The audience at once says: "number!", "function"..
And only from the last part: "I don’t know how you do, and I think it’s some shit."

[ + 54 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14409
 11.02.2009
The subordinate wrote an explanatory note about the delay:

I was late to work for 20! minutes because of the fact that until 4:30 in the night worked on our project home. Because of those 20! I won’t go for lunch today. Life is shit. (the signature )

Employee of the creative department... now I think to cancel the punishment for delay...

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №14408
 11.02.2009
by jadv_step
My aunt works in a bank. At the same time, everyone should smile, showing kindness. But then suddenly comes a new internal order, according to which it is no longer necessary to smile, but simply to express friendship in general (!) expression of the face. It turns out that the management of the bank revised its policy after a complaint from a client who that the cashier was...echoing and giving me my small salary.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №14407
 11.02.2009
46974 (saved 2009-02-09 at 14:45)
In one culinary program (Kaliningrad) invited the main sysadmin of the city... you will not guess what they were cooking...
_________________________________________________________________________________

Now peeling pizza will be popular with the Kaliningrad hostess)

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №14406
 11.02.2009
Which ninja turtle was your favorite in childhood? I have Michelangelo :)
I have Donatello.
Roadrunner: Let me guess. Were you so smart?
Strongly No. Just in the village where I lived as a child, there were no nunchaks and sables, but only sticks :(

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №14405
 11.02.2009
Difficulties of translation:
Lynx: When I lived in a shelter, I came up with a way to eat on a hole when the money was running out. He generated random numbers, knocked into rooms with these numbers, and if a girl opened it, he was represented as a French student named Eboujon Zayed. It worked once.
Gella: Where are you going?
In the eye, fucking! It’s an ebony, you know?
Gella: When is it?
and Lynx:

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №14404
 11.02.2009
x(16:03:53 9/02/2009)
What happened to Nero??? (The primary from 6 to 8 version.
I just need to record a record, and I’m being proposed to make a nuclear war!! to

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №14403
 11.02.2009
How can one live in a world where a lack of face is easily compensated by cosmetics, a lack of legs by spikes, and a lack of mind by faintness?! to

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №14402
 11.02.2009
Every morning started with Basha.
And every day was lucky, because, it started with laughter - the office was lying pattal, I stopped painting the eyelids in the morning, because I laughed to tears... Meetings with friends started with the words "...And you read on BASHE..."...
And here's what I'll tell you - stupid quotes, mother, past descriptions of sexual misfortunes led to the crisis!!! Bring back the blonde, the shredder, the cat... It’s not funny what’s happening here right now! Just a guy with dollars and pleased...
I’ll probably stop coming here...not funny!! to
I understand that my quote will not pass, but the moderator - go edit Anshlag, or buy a semak and drop it to your Babruisk.
Blonde in Chocolate.
P.S If anyone knows a funny website, please tell me.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №14401
 11.02.2009
I want a camera more. Bicycles will now be cheaper.
XXX: Yes and a bit of a shape.
Tag: sell the thief
yyy: buy an inflatable grandmother
xxx: I want to go
yyy: then a rubber boat
Xxx: mm
xxx:"go to me, my boat"))
YYYYYYYYY
xxx:"A Dirty Shirt!"))))
YYY: Without fire

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №14400
 11.02.2009
The girl writes:
And I have one single man until a man invented a funny way to wash socks! In a bottle of underwater 6 liters is poured hot water and a couple of tablespoons of powder, and then the closed bottle is thrown into the trunk and he rides with it during the day. Talking then it remains only to rinse out..."
Another young man responds:
I tell each of my girls this story about socks. I think this: there will be one who will say: "Do not do nonsense, let me wash"- I marry right away! Without thinking! Until I find it, let no one count on me. They are all in the ass!"

[ + 10 - ] Comment quote №14399
 11.02.2009
I don’t expect compliments, I deserve them.

© Copyright: Evdokia Dozorna, 2009

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14398
 11.02.2009
I will tell you the story of an old speculative grandmother. The case was in

late 60s of the last century. People lived in the depths of poverty, approving

Party politics and the promised communism. There were goods in the shops.

not thick, and the one that was (more and more calashi da vedra) could not always

satisfaction of the modest needs of the workers of socialism. and in

small districts and villages all trouble with a range of as easy as

and food industry.

And here is one breakthrough grandmother from the tiny district center of the middle strip of Russia.

decided to abandon the low-profit trade in pumpkin seeds and find

Work is more expensive. assessed the situation, studied the conjuncture of the

the colloquial market and came to the conclusion that if meat is traded,

Then it will be her, grandmother means happiness. As meat in the center.

It was not possible to buy either peelings, cocktails or any other sausage.

Those who kept livestock cut them under the winter so that they couldn’t feed them in the winter. A is

If anyone was going to sell meat, they would give the whole carcass.

the meat combination, which was for half a hundred verst in another district center, a little

More of that.

Throwing her glasses to the nose, the grandmother recalled that her distant relative,

The seventh water on the acid, works on that meat combinate or watter, then

Or a fucking. One day, my grandmother wore a catch-up, bound it up.

I paid a pension and went to the station. Sitting on a steam and a couple.

The clock was already working hard running along the fence of the meat mixer, looking for

the passing. After attempting to enter the territory "to grandchildren" without

The watcher said he would go out for lunch and

He will bring her a "unger".

“Dick, son, I’ll go back soon to get tired, soon out.

Tell your grandson what you want, and I’ll tell you.

- De mine grandson meat promised to bring - at mine house children are not small

The feeding!

“Well, grandmother, tell me what your granddaughter’s name is. I will ask someone.

Go to call.

Call me, call me, call me! Vassili Zeppelin is here. At the Mine.

Outside to go! Children are not fed at home. Small a...

My grandmother, I am going to take care of your children. Zeppelin was expelled.

Drunk for six months. So go on your train. There is no yours here.

The Wasets.

and Wii U! How is not? Tutu worked...What do you do? children

No food for a! Meat, meat, where do you get meat?

- For "take" you can sit down. You can buy cheaper.

When there is money.

Oh my dear, there is! Only a little at the mine... so on a bag... a pudik

Two meals and a mine.

What is? No fuck yourself, grandmother, you have children... Okay, at what time you are.

The train? Go along the fence, curl around the corner and stand there. In an hour.

I will change and throw you a bag of pork through the fence. Give so much.

And so much money.

and wow! Cheap as well, right? Could you give me three puddles? ALI

and four?

“No, grandmother, there is not so much. You will not bring so much.

I will bring, I will bring! I am strong! You only have three puddles.

The meat, right? Children in small houses are not fed.

“Okay, grandmother, I’m sorry for your little children. I will give you three.

Pudding, and I will not take the money for the third pud! Which I am! Go and wait.

I am in the corner.

Wow, my son! Give me your money and I will give you when you eat meat.

You will bring. Do you not have time to search? I still have money in.

I will tie the clothes as long as it is necessary, and I will throw you through the fence.

You are smart, grandmother. Oh well okay. Everything will be honest: I will give you meat – you

I have money. Go to wait.

Oh my dear! You take care that the bones may be smaller, and the bones may not be bored. I am

I shuffle it!

You know, grandmother

And the grandmother went along the fence behind the corner, where they agreed to make

The exchange. Wait, wait, the time is coming, the train will soon leave. and thinks

Multidisciplinary Babkin's head - why the real money in the cloth

You can put the newspaper in place of money in the bag.

to bind. To bind so that it would be difficult to unlock. While the man in

money will want to see, and while he unfolds the cloth, and until he understands what

his clever grandmother cheated – she is already on the train to his hometown of Gundosovo on all

Couples will run. The train station is there, next to it. said and done.

The money was transferred from the coil to the babkin's catch-up, and

a newspaper, for the event of an adventure somewhere on the road of "great need"

It was attached to four knots in a cloth. “And if chavo, I will say,

Skeleros at mine, memory incontinence. I passed the plates. Excuse me mil

of man.”

And then came the long-awaited moment. With a loud singing and hacking on

The stone fence takes off an unshaped bag, and then appears the blue from

of the “robbers of socialist property” and

He stared at his grandmother from above.

- Hurry, grandmother, throw the money, and catch the bag!

Oh my dear! Let me whisper - there are no bones!

Then you feel. and pork. Three pounds. Do it fast!

No, sweetheart, to shake up!

The fucking! Oh well shuffle!

Touching the bag, the grandmother is convinced of the honesty of the sender of the banderola.

There are no bones, there is a soft cut around. Became a grandmother

Even a little ashamed of his deception. But the vessel is already dividing.

The pair, the stable bag already pulls hands, and the excitement in the chest increases. and

a nodular cloth flew through the fence, in the face of the mosquito hands

The honest guard.

Thank you very much, Mila-a-ai!

Be healthy, my grandmother!

Running through the gallop with three puds behind the back to the station, the grandmother installed

New World Record in Running. But her run was complicated.

periodic rotations around the axis. Routes were needed to

Watch if a confident guard is chasing her with a cloth.

The meat combination. But everything went well and happy grandmother,

scattered with a bag of other similar babies with bags, entered the car

The departing train.

Imagine, dear reader, how much one in your area costs.

1 kg of pork can be multiplied by 3 pounds. This is precisely this

sweet work and did the grandmother all the way, continuously touching

warm still bag with already passed dark fatty spots. Arriving at

his station, the grandmother squeezing and bending in three deaths, perched

Three more pockets until he arrived at home. The house is wide.

The smile of a fortunate businessman flashed instantly on the face of the grandmother.

She left him until she unleashed the bag. I do not believe my eyes

The grandmother began to rub the contents on the sun-filled snow. Shakened

All, the grandmother quietly descended on the twisted pipe and thought. in the snow

There were many horses of different lengths and colors.

Some were with eggs, and some were. My grandfather came out of the house and saw

So many whores, only could it be, that I stumbled:

Why is it... Where are we? Who gave it to you?

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №14397
 11.02.2009
Exam in Agriculture:

You are the director of the Sophia. You’re in trouble again. What objective reasons

Will you make an excuse?

Bad weather conditions.

Do I freshen something?

I forgot to land.

www.ecrime.ru

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №14396
 11.02.2009
Yandex in the morning.
In Omsk Petrosyan stole a kiosk with ice cream!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna