The cry of the soul:

App Store for Android. A program that, at a speed of more than 60 km per hour, begins to sing: “Let us pray to the Lord.” Commentary: It is five! The car does not consume but produces gasoline. The washer sprinkled with holy water. The neighbors greeted me and called me Daddy. The car has stopped stumbling, and on the parking lots next to the car, the grandmother is mistaken and sells crosses and candles!

The name of sister! I need a name!"

I have every 2nd time in the store a wonderful dialogue comes out:
- Give 300 grams of sausage "mycollabs".
How much?
and 300!
Which one?

It is right. Who is in the shops and other shops? A living person will not play such a character, so there is, of course, the NPC. They have a very limited script. The first request does not need to transmit all the parameters, it does not process them, but only establishes a session. Here, further on the script, he clarifies the parameters, there is a need to list the characteristics. I am already accustomed and use non-writing with mutual pleasure.

New neighbors moved to the floor.
Today in the afternoon, I hear knocking and knocking, and when she came out into our corridor, there was a scandal at the entrance. In response to the claims to the constant noise, the new neighbor cried out: “I don’t have a rocket at all, I’m beating, beating all day today, and I can’t even make one rocket!”
I feel that life next to such an unusual unusual thinking person will definitely not be boring for us.

after the 60th from the pocket of the Lord, Pomo-O-Olimsa!! to
– – – – –
AC/DC – Highway to Hell

The best student of mathematics forgets the submitted material immediately after the exam.
Yyy: The main thing is not to miss out, and not to forget the day before.

I am currently watching the old Soviet film "Peters youth". There, briefly speaking, a little boy sitting in sadness and sorrow says, “All of us have sad words now! Crimea, we must fight..."

I think – bl*** and here :)

Who are the fools around?
The classic situation. Two guys were going to meet each other. When they were equal, they said to each other, “Is it to smoke?” Another in response: "I don’t smoke". And every one of them walked his own way, thinking, “Mudak!”

Ukraine can help only one person... But he now has the world championship in hockey and seed :)

Foreign cats and foreign wives look like such stumblers!

I saw a friend quarreled with his wife: she is crazy, cries, cries with her hands... The prostitute calmly took the phone and began to shoot. After a while, Lisa saw it and said, “What kind of shit?” “This is when I’m going to sit alone on a rainy evening and think about why I divorced you, and then I’m going to turn on the video and this one: ‘Oh no, it’s okay!’”
I’ve never seen women calm down so quickly.

Baby, go and eat! Food on the table!
I am going, babe.
Go, or it will cool.
The grandson gets up from the computer and goes to the kitchen.
The grandmother jumps into his place at the computer:
Go on, the sleeper!

lipa_uragan: here’s what I should answer to Facebook? if I was born in Uzbekistan, lived in Mordovia, and am studying in Novosibirsk?
richard_blumen: geographical location: everything is difficult

I am not going to prove anything to you. Communicating with people who deny objective reality is not on my list of virtues. There are psychiatrists for that.

xxx: I am doing physical exercises, so I respond slowly
XXX: I want to get to the pressing without hands
Did you buy Viagra?
XXX without legs
xxx is very bad))

Read the comments of ordinary citizens of the United States and Europe to the live broadcast of the parade on Red Square. A significant part of commentators believe that the entire potential of the Russian Armed Forces is just going through a solemn march in Moscow. For example, when asked by an American why such events are not held in the United States, others answered that the U.S. army is so large that it will not fit in any area.

Americans believe that on Victory Day we show all the personnel and all the equipment we have? I have a clever plan. Next time, let us drive out the 1 000 000 active army, 2 000 000 reservists, as well as all the equipment that can still ride, through the Red Square. The parade will last about a year and will close itself. By the time the last pelvis passes through the square, another parade will have to begin. The world will think that we have endless armed forces.

She told her father that Darth Vader was registered as the candidate for the mayor of Odessa.
He answered:
Again, the Jews are in the government.

A boy walked out on the street.
You have, says, or such fragrances are pleasant, or
You smell so badly yourself.
No, I say, it was I who sprinkled...

From Habr:
From the beginning I didn’t know how to do it, but the increased use of Google and the switch to the second link brought the result.

The conversation after the girlfriend took her husband's name:
I: Well, who are you now?
Tag: Rajnis
I: from the Targaryen’s house?