bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №75094
 30.12.2012
Tagged useless_faq

pif_paf
How do snowmen move? How is the lower ball called in anatomy?

urem_temon
A full beast. It seems to me that in this post the community has reached its peak in the category of the "most drug addiction issue."

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №75093
 30.12.2012
I played with the German.
I found out he was from Germany.
I said I want to go there in the summer.
He was pleased.
I asked where in Berlin?
I said I haven’t bought a tank yet to go to Berlin.
He is out.)
I think I’m offended...

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75092
 30.12.2012
RT @kissmygrail
Armageddon was in December, it just didn’t work. Armageddon is celebrated for the Year of the Black Dragon.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №75091
 30.12.2012
After going through two parts of Dead Space, I learned one thing: women are evil, and dead women are double evil.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №75090
 30.12.2012
In connection with the frost, I remembered last year’s trip to Irkutsk Oblast.
I visited with friends for a week, and there was just the frost, and it would be nothing, but they live in the private sector, in their house and amenities, as I then thought, in the courtyard.
Before I leave, I say to the head of the family:
You are strong guys, Siberians, go to the toilet on such a frost several times a day, I apologize - your ass is frozen and at least henna.
Although I myself am a guy and weak, but I apologize - I endured as much as I could, if only the fifth point did not freeze.
In response, the head of the family looked at me surprised and said:
We go to the toilet in the house, in the fall, it is built, it is warm, and we run to the street sorting, because there is a good connection (that is, he ran, called, fled), so we are fools that the ass freezes!
And I stand, knock my eyes and think you’re not stupid.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №75089
 30.12.2012
Q: How many photos are there?
See also: 1024
One kilowatt photo! :D
The day has come when the joke about a programmer who thinks he’s at a distance of 1024 meters has ceased to be a joke.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №75088
 30.12.2012
On the street 5. Call a friend.

What are you doing there?
We are looking for Lucia.
Why Why?
I went into shit!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №75087
 30.12.2012
On the corporate with the boss all photographed.Even, the photo with the snake is a hit of the season.))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №75086
 30.12.2012
A friend of my husband came in and told me:
I am currently in a funeral business, I work in a ritual office.
I rub my nose, I say, it’s not a comilfo.
My husband is stable!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №75085
 30.12.2012
Unfortunately, unfortunately forgotten heroes. McDonald’s was founded by the brothers Dick and Mac McDonald’s, but only one remains in history. And now I can order BigMac, and BigDick -no :(

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №75084
 30.12.2012
rain251: I remember from childhood - my older sister taught letters at the table. The younger watched the process from the other side of the table. So she learned all the letters up with her legs and wrote so - and then hesitated to re-learn.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №75083
 30.12.2012
22:12) exfirst: Everything the writer.
22:38 exfirst: I have a robot uprising at home.
The robot vacuum cleaner joke with the cat.
[2:23:41] ex-first: He came to him with a brush on the har.
[2:24:33] exfirst: the cat waited for Device to go to the base and hit him there.
[2:24:39] exfirst: 1:1
[2:25:59] exfirst: the vacuum cleaner has a chip of armor and brushes, but the cat is more mobile.
[2:27:55] exfirst: transmitted by your own correspondent from your own apartment.
[2:28:29] exfirst: Wait for further developments.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №75082
 30.12.2012
Vasya and Petya simultaneously started writing the same product.
Vasya was "result-oriented" and immediately began to write shit code without thinking about architecture.
And Petya developed the architecture for a month, a month made a convenient intuitive interface that would envy Johnny Ive, then a month wrote tests, then two months wrote the code itself and got the perfect stable application.
But Vasya released a month later the first version of the program, although not perfect, though with bugs, but working, and began to sell it. A month later released a second version correcting bugs of the first and adding new bugs. A month later, the revenue from sales hired two intelligent programmers, who in two months repaired the entire code, according to the wishes of users, doped the interface and released a third version of the program.
Overall, five months later, Vasai had two employees, a bunch of customers and a portable app that meets customer wishes.
Petty had a leased app unknown to anyone, a minus on the bank account and no customer.
In the conclusion of this fictional example, it can be said that six months later, Vasya bought all the work of Petty, took Petty into the staff as a tester, and himself fell into a drunk on his new Tuareg.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №75081
 30.12.2012
111: What do you do?
222: I learn a new language.
111: What is it? and what
222: Yixsur, there is such a small population in Central America. "Hello" will be "tevirp", "student" will be "kinlox", and "brain" will be "igzom".
You are so clever! 😉 Okay, let’s go later okay? Or have to run.
222 until we meet again! As one Yixsur says, Alshop Yuhán Arud))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №75080
 30.12.2012
Have you ever had a feeling that you came home and didn’t turn on the computer?
and yes. It was left on for the night.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №75079
 30.12.2012
Even in Hogwarts, no one did just that:
Harry and Neville are favourites.
Ron from a large family is also a beneficiary.
Hermione is an Olympian.
Half of disability,
Malfoy bought it.

[ + 28 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75078
 30.12.2012
The Hobbit is not a bad movie. Like the book, a little less serious than the VK.
XXX: The movie corresponds to 30 percent. This is just the first part of the three.
I liked it. =) is
XXX: I’ll be looking forward to the other parts.
XXX: If you look like that. What the Hobbit, that VK - in every book somewhere in the year of adventures.
xxx: 1 year of events = 3 films.
XXX: Berem Silmarillion
XXX: The inexhaustible golden vein!! 1

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №75077
 30.12.2012
I downloaded the movie and I can't find it on the computer, I ask the six-grade son: why can't I find the downloaded file? The son replied with a waking voice: - And I did so that everything in the basket would go down.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №75076
 30.12.2012
The original:
Chlorophyll - the green pigment of plants, it is thanks to chlorophyll that the energy of the sun is converted into the energy of chemical bonds of organic substances.
Chlorophyll contains a large amount of oxygen, and beneficial bacteria and the presence of oxygen in the body are closely related to each other and therefore the use of chlorophyll in its natural form (fresh-pressed juices from green plants) is simply necessary for the health of the body.

The Stone:
Calcium carbonate is a binding substance in cement, cement is part of concrete, it is the adhesion of the binding substance due to polymerization taking into account the hydrogen bonds of water molecules. Cement contains a huge amount of calcium, and the amount of calcium and bone in the body are closely related to each other, and therefore the use of fresh cement in its natural form is simply necessary for the health of the body.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №75075
 30.12.2012
Friend: I have to be at home for two hours...Wife will kill!
The compassionate widow.

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