bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120513
 12.11.2015
>...I thought the stories about mothers were exaggerated. Today in the garden I heard, “Go wash your handcuffs and kiss them,” and then when the child returned, “Go kiss them.” Who will grow up from this girl?

Pancake is something. Because since childhood, deep and long behind?Li is :)

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №120512
 12.11.2015
"The authorities of Moscow have come up with how to help young scientists with mortgage"
The pension fund?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №120511
 12.11.2015
I almost accidentally killed the taxi driver. I really am ashamed!

My son pulled watermelon from the kindergarten, and I did not get sick as a child. I was covered in my mom’s visits, I had to get home to the other end of Moscow, and I was contagious. I call a taxi and please send a car with a driver who has had varicella. Judging by the sound in the telephone, the girl got tea through her nose.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120510
 12.11.2015
Our dad eats all the candy in the house :facepalm:
To the kids says ''I take care of your teeth'

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №120509
 12.11.2015
My friend, the artist and poet, drove an explosive package in the garbage dump.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120508
 12.11.2015
How many children should be in a family:
When my older brother saw me for the first time, he said, “What a terrible thing. Without a book ". Thirty-seven years have passed and his attitude towards me has not changed.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №120507
 12.11.2015
Did you have a cecc with an intelligent girl?
Which member in the mouth of the fork is taking?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120506
 12.11.2015
[10:22:32] Alexei: My colleague was late to work. I planted the garden at midnight.
[12:39:46] Maxim: Oh! The first was delayed due to Foley. and :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №120505
 12.11.2015
XXX: Happiness is found
xxx: Just Acquired Legacy of the Void
I had Fallout 4 last night.
Goodbye brother 😉

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120504
 12.11.2015
Plans for the day:

Washing polyethylene bags

Find your name in Forbes magazine.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120503
 12.11.2015
XXX: Openors and Hule
xxx: I wrote to the author, he replied to me - fuck me, fuck with this shit yourself, my son, and made a contributor)
X: I have to fix.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120502
 12.11.2015
A man came to the library with an aspiration.
"Young man, what performance did you bring here?" asks the librarian.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120501
 12.11.2015
Hoooliganka: People are kind (and not very) how to attract the attention of a guy in the category of “ideal from all sides”, the female attention of the tempted? Now I think only about him.

Pegasus: You take an orange or lemon, you approach it with a fruit and a glass, you say, “You are strong, give me a juice.” In other words, you persuade him to squeeze you. And when he presses and asks the type, “That’s enough?” then you’re him, “Well, it’s not comparable to the loci that I have on you!” Dark so say. The eyes are sunset. Must act!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120500
 12.11.2015
The Boss:
I looked at the vacancy and I have a question - Why are there corporations on Fridays for new employees, and for current - alcohol banned?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120499
 12.11.2015
- "Please draw without a source..."
Drawing the Desperate?! to

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №120498
 12.11.2015
Socrates condemned the Sophists for caring not about the truth, but about money. He constructed questions in an iron sequence, which led to conviction. For this, Socrates periodically beat".
Dema: Category "Interesting rhetoric. Quotes from the Conspect":

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №120497
 12.11.2015
A wise woman makes a man, and a stupid woman makes a man.

[ + 34 - ] [17 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120496
 12.11.2015
All good time of day!
My story is not funny, yes, it is just information for reflection. (Fans criticize for "not funny" - see at the top of the site warning "there is no...pre-selection of published materials on the site")
My late grandmother Shure was 20 years old when the Great Patriotic War began. Men of all, of course, were mobilized, and women were left to work in the forestry. Shura graduated from driver courses and worked as a truck driver ZIS-5 for ten years. No hydroamplificers of the steering wheel, no "palaces", no heaters in the cabin. The grandmother remembered how the sparks from her eyes flew when she loaded barrels (80 kg, in my opinion) into the body - no one was able to help, the war, the warehouser - a disabled. She recalled how trucks were driven to Moscow for the front from the Gorky automobile factory: at night they were driving with light masks (the phares were closed with shields and a narrow strip of light remained), they froze in the cabins, these journeys lasted for a month or more. The driver’s girls shaved their hair because there was no opportunity to shave every day, and the hair dropped almost into a cloth. Valkys, worn in the frosty February Gorky, soaked in March's raw Moscow and when the feet were dried so "dry" that when they returned home they had to be cut off with scissors. It is clear that such work was then heavily affected by pain in the inflamed body.
When Shure was 30, she married and gave birth to a son. Her husband died, Shura remained.
A young child and an old mother. She worked to fatigue to feed her family. She was a warehouse. And the son of Shura (my future father) graduated eight years in the village, then electromechanical school, then the university (afternoon faculty, worked in parallel), then postgraduate studies in Moscow. To defend the candidate was prevented by restructuring - it was necessary to earn money. His father worked in the research institute, fell under a reduction in the late 90s, found a job in a small firm, then he was retired. A few years later he returned to his hometown, where he still works. By the way, it is not by chance that the old workers who were reduced at the time were eagerly taken back to the research institute: the young and the old know how to count money, but with drawings and products things are bad. My father’s co-worker, today a graduate of Kazan University, knows less than a graduate of the technical school thirty years ago.
I have a question for all those who love to criticize the Soviet past: tell me, what are the prospects for today of the son of a lonely semi-literate rural warehouser? I think the answer is clear – almost none. There is only the danger of falling into the jersey of juvenile justice. Therefore, it is not necessary to shrink everything that has been. Even in the fall of democracy.

[ + 35 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120495
 12.11.2015
95% of the ocean has not been explored.
99.99% of space has not been explored.
90% of our brain has not been studied.
Question: What are we doing? Do we develop washable wipes from toilet paper?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №120494
 12.11.2015
EEF © With geektimes, discuss a new type of engine:

by zorge_van_daar
I’ll tell you one clever way to store energy – in uranium. The power of the submarine reactor is 60 MW. If the power of this device is scaled linearly, it is 75 N of power. Traction of the ion engine - 20-250 mH. Yes, the reactor and fuel weigh a lot, but in sum, I think it would be a breakthrough.

by Amarao:
How do you dispose of 60 MW of heat in a vacuum?

by misato:
We are going to place a giant animated billboard that will show advertising towards Earth.

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