bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147874
 05.01.2018
Today I bought an inflatable plush for skating.
The seller just pumped it to me at the time and looked at the manometer (who doesn't know - this is an illusion measuring the pressure when pumping).
A woman falls with a man and asks the seller:
Do you have a child’s wheelchair for sale?! to
The seller, without looking away:
No no no no.
The Woman:
Why don’t you look me in the eyes when you answer?
The Seller:
It is a shame that there are no wheelchairs.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147873
 05.01.2018
31 December :
- I have four whiskers of 0.7, caviar and beef for steaks kilogram three.
3 January :
Salt for 12 rubles. It was 10.20!

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147872
 05.01.2018
Yesterday I drank the best rum in the world!
Peterson is home! 😉
You drink it and don’t get drunk!
Claire: What is the meaning?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №147871
 05.01.2018
xxx is. German criminologists have found a link between the rise in crime and the influx of refugees into the country. According to experts, the link is positive – the more refugees arrive in Germany, the higher the crime rate.

As a solution to the problem, it is proposed to focus more actively on teaching immigrants the German language and involving foreign youth in sports.

YYYYY The involvement of migrants in sports will lead to criminals becoming physically stronger. It is beautiful.

and zzz. And you can also teach them to use weapons and join in teams! Ordination will come immediately.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №147870
 05.01.2018
(Hach prepares for the OS exam, reads theory)

HHH
The violation of the non-re-distributability condition can be carried out by selecting resources from the processes holding them until they are completed.

HHH
Well, the fucking fuck gave me the operational memory of the fuck straight!! to

HHH
Forgive me that you didn't finish Give me the shit right away I said

HHH
He is so hysterical.

HHH
And the process of such shaking hands almost crying extends the operational memory.

HHH
"You can only select those resources, the state of which is easy to save, and then restore" that you are going to go back soon.

HHH
"The consequence of this scheme can be the discrimination of processes from which resources are constantly taken")))

HHH
Through tears hysterically shouts that you fuck me to take away my memory! fucking fucking

HHH
I am already leaving with his operative in his hands on the half-step I stop slowly turning I say that you fucking said

HHH
In the process, the knees are choked, he looks touched and sneezes his nose and says no, everything is okay.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №147869
 05.01.2018
Nadja has resigned. In her place a new diabetic was installed. And then there was the "New Hope". For half an hour, we spontaneously sang under our nose the Imperial March.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147868
 05.01.2018
The conflict of generations is when you consider yourself an adult translator, a professional translator and a talented reconstructor, and your grandmother thinks that you are completely upset with this computer, since you don’t know who Katya Osadacha is.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147867
 05.01.2018
Kamchatka on January 4.

14:46 O Yapt, we are trembling!
14:46 Is it hard?
14:46 Yeah yeah.
14:46 is all over.
at 14:47 hrs. In the 21st century, instead of running in panic to the street, in the gates, we write about it in the chat.
14:48 Let us drink again.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №147866
 05.01.2018
Pobalych: I slowly take off the electrostatic charge.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147865
 05.01.2018
It’s good to be a crapper. When I was a frog, I only woke up at 11, and now I wake up at 7 and at 11 am I have time to do all my things... and with a clean conscience I go to bed further.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147864
 05.01.2018
I am looking for a place to move. Moscow and Peter are not treated for poverty.
Yes, we have the rich.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147863
 05.01.2018
About the Fellows:

A new advertisement appeared: "New miracle yogurt for children with a taste of plombier". Well, yes, the sloppy ones, which indicate a pause in speech, invented the weak ones!

This line is wrapped and not needed. In my school years there was a verbal mystery: “Wanna met Masha on a lawn with flowers” – what does this sentence mean “with flowers”? The correct answer is to any of the other substantials. The same here. It is rather a mistake in the construction of the proposition, but not a mistake in the arrangement of the folds.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №147862
 05.01.2018
The editor of the site is not responsible for all the hentai you have just read.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147861
 04.01.2018
You’re such a fool, I’ll never forgive myself that we met you.
Yyy: A negative perception. I’m sure in a year you’ll remember it as the best six weeks of your life.
XX: We only met for two weeks.
YYY: But you fuck me four more brains.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147860
 04.01.2018
Employers are beautiful! In order not to write about the age limit, indicated in the vacancy: work experience not more than 15 years. It is genius!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №147859
 04.01.2018
XXX is great. Searched for videos related to the setup/reassembly of gentoo.
xxx: And now this infection recommends me a channel related to survival in the wild: how to make a weapon from scratch, fire a fire, build a house of shit and sticks and much more in this spirit. Thanks to YouTuber. Now I can do that too. Until now I do not know why.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147858
 04.01.2018
> imagined a poster over the tranches of the First World War:
> "Your camouflage shape interferes with the normal operation of our snipers".

It would prohibit any advertising, except a railway / gif 128x64, no more than three pieces, no more than 150 kb each, with a static link without any scripts, visually away from the information load. All the rest was cut by the adblock on the provider's side, but he had to put the equipment due to obvious changes. I just want to ban this hassle and that’s all.
After all, if the forestry force interrupts the arms race, which is the type of "who is more efficient", then the users will quickly turn off and normal, not ham advertising will work again and start pressing it again. The prisoners’ dilemma, in its pure form.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147857
 04.01.2018
A 7-year-old daughter brought a half-painted rose from school.
This is your mom.
and thanks. Have you finished here yet?
This is my style!

It is counted)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №147856
 04.01.2018
The blue

And nothing that many celebrate the New Year in the circle of relatives who include this "blue light"? And leaving / switching out will be somewhat inappropriate. I’ll surprise you, but the rule "do not like – don’t watch" doesn’t always work.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147855
 04.01.2018
I have a friend who has had two fails in his life.
xxx: the first was when she left the guy because of the fact that he earned little (she never worked) and moved to live with her mother.
xxx: second - when this same her ex-boyfriend suddenly started to earn a lot, and when she tried to return to him, he sent her to all the figures
XX: Of course, it was the guy’s fault.
yyy: "In any unexplained situation it is not my fault" - the most likely creed of her life =)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna