She: You’ve learned French, tell me a compliment in French!
He: I only remember "le cheval".
She: And what does that mean?
He is a goat.

If a cat is made of antimatter, it will most likely fly upwards (I definitely do not recommend spinning antimatter cats out of the vacuum)

Wow: It’s only if the cat is made of dark matter, and it’s not a fact. And anti-matter I do not advise you to swipe even in the vacuum, your hands are from the usual. Or do I know nothing about you? >_<

I thought today: and suddenly the cause of the earthquake is that the cat runs the magnet with this city from the refrigerator? O_O

No, I don’t turn off advertising, there’s so much fun there.

Right now, a photo of Pugacheva popped out with a pink bat on the head and the signature: "As soon as I cured parasites, I began to rejuvenate in front of my eyes. The recipe is simple... " Apparently, now only healthy parasites live in it, which rejuvenate it.

xxx: Don't miss the author, he just shared what he saw. It was shit, but shared.

YYY: How cute...

hxx: When a linuxoid prays, it adds > /dev/god instead of "amin"
xxx: It is a pity that there is no such device in the system, I would send a lot of letters there.
YYY: You can send to /dev/null, that’s the same.

The forum. The story of a woman doctor.

Today, another babulancy at the reception stretches me a bottle of cognac :crazy: (there is also the mystery of Polishinel, I am a light-eyed blonde, without thighs and with fine eyebrows, there is no Armenian blood, but the bottles with alcohol really strain me already :unknown: )
She looked at me suspiciously and asked, “Are you not pregnant?”!" I agree with Kiev.
She:" Firstborn?" I:"No. Trojan :-), the third baby will be"
The grandmother respectfully:"Your husband is probably an oligarch..." I smiled and said that I don’t.
Here the grandmother turned in the face and said:"This is all because your generation is too poor. Do not go to abortions on time, do not build communism... you have everything too simple... " and proudly turned down %)
I've written it for autumn :D

From the description of drugs on one of the sites: "Thousands of people are searching on the Internet for reviews of various drugs. If you personally do not leave a comment on this topic - read the rest will not be anything."

About 3D Printers:
asv63: This will already be discrimination against manual labour. Edak and Master will translate!
The master will not translate. Printers that “print” complex biological structures with living cells are already under development. Therefore, in the event of the threat of complete disappearance of the masters, their necessary number will simply be printed.)

I understood that a men’s pocket in a winter jacket is like a woman’s bag – you can find everything in it. From the keys to the blades))))))

Physical activity: I very vigorously rub my towel after a shower.

HH: And what do you have now? Have a job?
There is food)
Yes, but what are the plans?
Wait until the spring.)
I am optimistic ?

Grish's son (6 years old), runs with a neighbor's girl, plays. Ludmila to, Ludmila to...
She said to him, “I’m not Ludmila, I’m Radmila!”! to
He said, “I’m not talking "R"!”! to

Five tips for parenting perfectionism:

Rejoice for the heroine, who was lucky to torment quickly - a blessing that the classy leader turned out to be a wise woman and quickly stopped excessive enthusiasm. I had a similar situation - my dad decided to use the works of the classic to produce a beautiful handwriting, so to speak, injected beautiful... A few depressing months at the age of 8 I after school had to rewrite every day 5 pages from the works of Saltykov-Shchedrin. It all ended with my first grand hysteria, breaking my notebook and a terrible hatred for the author’s work. Everything inside is overwhelmed by the sight of his books.

My mom was different – she liked to threaten that she would throw out all the toys if I didn’t put them in place immediately after the game was over. You build a toy kingdom in the middle of the evening and you want to play with it tomorrow... And it all ends with a play with folding toys in garbage bags. After 3-4 such actions, I developed immunity, so in the next educational attack I directly stated: "Turn out". My mom was psychotic and threw everything out into the window))) After half an hour, she went to collect the surviving remains herself (probably estimating their cost). No more such pedagogical reception has been repeated.

From comments about "In Russia created an analogue of the pioneering movement":
Fiva: It remains to write a book "Celina" and force it to be studied in school.
Peregar: In order to write a book of Celine, it had to be raised first... Now only the TRC is raised, and the RPC is studied in school. This is your ideal!
Curious: will the children of officials be comfortable participating in the new movement from abroad?

Cep)I: There is such a joke.
When I was asked in school who I work for and how I can help school, I replied,
I work as a prosecutor and can organize a free prosecutor's examination.
The school did not need anything.

Dialogue at work:
I learned that Scorpions will be on a farewell tour. You will go?
YYY: No, I was there four years ago.

If in the workplace for a long and concentrated look at some papers, not only others, but you can have the impression that you are working.

Planning in English

When you hear that England is a country of traditions, believe it! Traditions and planning are not the one with the motor off, but the one with the points and in advance.

So, 1913, England, London, Westminster Hall, the oldest building of parliament. Meeting of the major restoration committee. And very, you know, sad things are going on at the commission. The building began to be built in the 11th century, finished, apparently, in the 14th, sometimes then repaired, but a major restoration... Then to repair, to repair, and it is very necessary to change the straw, and they, infections, large and oak. There were few oak forests in England at the time, old ones were even smaller, and there are oak forests older than 300 years, because everything that is younger does not fit in size.

And someone in the commission says - and where did we get the tree last time? “Eye,” he said, “when was the last time?” Last time it was in the 14th century. The MDA. Anyway, where did they get it from? are checked. From Sussex, oak bushes under the straw were sent from the possessions of the Cortorp family. And says again someone in the commission – a great optimist man was: “Let’s get in touch with them? The property has not gone from the family since the 14th century. Okay shit, let’s get in touch?”

are connected. And the head of the Courtrop family, Sir George, said in a human voice, “Are you behind the oak pebbles for the Westminster Hall? Those trees are yours. You understand, when in the 14th century my prapraprapraprapra gave you balloons, he thought that in 500 years you might need new ones. and planted. I told him to send the message.”

And they cut down the oaks, and made bars, and repaired the Westminster Hall. I think Sir George then ordered another oak to be planted. In 500 years it will take...

During fierce arguments on the Internet, never point the interlocutor to his grammar mistakes, because his class has not passed this topic yet.