bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №17724
 01.07.2009
A very expensive French restaurant. A lot of journalists (so that they can be ripped). One of the journalists, forging in a plate and talking to the waitress: What is green? It is tuna! A proud waitress answered. Maybe it’s not tuna? I tell you the tuna - looks at him like an idiot and goes away proudly. He returns after five minutes and with the same proud look declares: “Yes, you were right, it’s not tuna, it’s spinach!!!”! to

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №17723
 01.07.2009
The acquaintance:
Today I found the embodiment of greed. I watched my father and brother share their socks after washing.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №17722
 01.07.2009
A new dance has appeared: the teutonic! It is done this way: in the winter you put a hole on your head, go to a frozen lake and dance until you fail under the ice.

[ + 100 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17721
 01.07.2009
Why, WHY always, when an erotic scene begins (the only one in the movie) always comes in, sees this caterpillar, and cries: "Aaaah, you're watching porn!" What PC is this?

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №17720
 01.07.2009
It’s not the first time I read about the battery. I can only say that you have your brains. And in no case try to repeat at home: heating pipes, as a rule, are very well grounded. When you were a child, did you collect a detector receiver?
If you wrap the "zero" grandmother there, it’s obvious, nothing will be done. If "phase" - you are most likely to have automates. If they are good and correct. If not, you risk a fire.
Even if you assume that the heating pipes are not grounded - in order for the grandmother to hit the current, she must 1) touch the unpainted part of the pipe. 2) at the same time touch something grounded, or at least stand naked wet feet on the concrete floor. This is very unlikely, unlike the fire of wires in your apartment.
p.s : Bring it to the top, or physics is not taught and is led to all kinds of nonsense...

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №17719
 01.07.2009
xxx: Well how could I know that the garages yesterday was held action - "every tenth visitor puzzles..." :(

[ + 76 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17718
 01.07.2009
And if the transformers arrived 40 years later, they would have stumbled on the skynet and the army of the Terminators. And it is still unknown who who... And 200 years later, they would find the fields of people-batteries in the matrix and hordes of flying spruce.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №17717
 01.07.2009
Answer to Answer:

We sit in the movie on Transformers 2, at the moment when Optimus Prime was killed, out of the room a scream: They killed Optimus! And from the other end of the room a cry of response: Svolokchi! )))))
***************

Ssssssssssssssssssss!

***************
Don’t worry, it will be resurrected :)

[ + 78 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17716
 01.07.2009
It is such a feeling that all these defenders of wrong-handed users are engaged in self-induction. People remember it! The 21st century is in the courtyard, the computer century! The computer helps in various spheres of activity and basic knowledge is necessary for everyone!
I am not an aitišnik, I am a boss. And why then I know how to reset the screw and where what settings are in it. At home, I ownly installed a Wi-Fi router, set up a laptop and computer. I know most of the MSOffice settings. I know how Print Screen works. In the end, I can set up the computer myself. But why did nobody teach me all this, I learned to do it myself! ............
P.S No one demands from you, comrades defenders, any supernatural knowledge. But why do you really chase IT staff?

= the =
Plus a stop, a start. Smell of lamps!

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №17715
 01.07.2009
XXX is:
Start of. The place is riddled with the work: yeah, you are an ass lapouchia! Do you know what your guys did? I come to the facility, check the work, and you know what I find? Your wonderful boys put calls instead of switchers. The calls! Instead of switching! 20 of them!! The light only burns when you press a button. The idiots!

[ + 237 - ] Comment quote №17714
 01.07.2009
Lisnake: What are you doing all day?
When the weather is cold on the street, I sit behind a compass.
When is it cool?
Igorok: and when the weather is cool - I sit behind the comp and close the curtains so that there are no flashes on the monitor
Tagged with: +1

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №17713
 01.07.2009
The Crazy Jack
Fuck, I watched my TV. Now they see that in every cave a maniac, a murderer, a pedophile, a gangster, Saakashvili and aliens.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №17712
 01.07.2009
A woman at work gave...

"When I was brought to give birth in the 85th, there was an inscription on the wall of the maternity house:
"Pregnancy - the normal state of the Soviet woman"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №17711
 01.07.2009
The Right Hand invites you to join the Dating group for intimate.

[ + 10 - ] Comment quote №17710
 01.07.2009
There are two kinds of things to lose - and more.
by Yuri Tatarkin

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №17709
 01.07.2009
In one NII of a closed town made some cleverly turned aggregate.
Complex and large. Well, scientists needed a few kilograms of niobium. This is
Metal is like that. The good. It was very expensive at that time.
accordingly. Well, Soviet science ahead of the entire planet, so not
The wisdom is wicked, our scientists have written for themselves this very niobi. What
to smaller? Let’s get more.
Making, therefore, our scientists aggregate, and suppliers are looking for where
Take the niobium. Closed to scratch. But being lazy. and what? Salary for a leaseholder
The miner is like that. I am silent about suppliers. In general, not
settled on time.

Scientists are angry. Niobium is needed. But what to do? The aggregate must also be handed over.
They scratched their wise heads, and swallowed the substitute.
The nicely detail. A little worse, but it works. In other words, aggregate
The project was closed, the niobium was forgotten. But the supply machinery is already dismantled! and
Then comes the package. With niobium, ah.

Scientists scratched their heads again. Put a bunch of metal on the side.
Something will be useful for.

Do you remember those times? As a scientist, and not only, he loved
to rest? A tent, fire, covering under the guitar. Here is a look at one
Such a fighter fell on the metal untouched. He cried a call.
People got their melting plants, laser cuts and so on.
A modern (for the time being) battle. And they wrapped up.
The cat. From Niobium. Such a good cat.

How long did we go on a journey with this miracle of engineering thought, but
A delegation from Japan arrived. The Japanese walk and watch.
The heads swallow. Something in the notebooks is written, but the lips curl. And our people
I decided to take them out of town. for a picnic. Locked the ear on the fire. and here
The Japanese are sitting down. Here is one st. Learn to. The employee stands up and says:
“But now, my dear Japanese friends, look at the magic!” is enough
The cottage in which it was cooked. He is so dirty, so buried.
He clicks on him with his finger. The hurry. All the dirt has gone off, and
The cottage was the cleanest before the amazed Japanese. “Here are my friends,
The Japanese say. Learn to. A cowboy from Niobium! Such our
The Soviet industry produces.”

The end of this story will be short: in six months the director of the NII comes with
Order of Japan. and ah. 500 cups of niobium.

[ + 47 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17708
 01.07.2009
One day, a hunter of donkeys addressed Hodge Nasreddin:

“O wise man, explain me one thing, otherwise I will go crazy. gave me
I took ten donkeys to race to another city, and I went on my way. before
I counted them, they were 10. I sat on the donkey and we went. by
On the way, I decided to count the donkeys again, and, to my horror, they became
and nine. Then I decided to make a rush, rushed, and re-calculated my
The flocks were again ten. With relief, I came back on the road, but
When I decided to count the donkeys again, they were nine again! And so each
Once and all the way, there are always nine on the road and ten on the sidewalk. Look at yourself, o
In the middle, and tell me, how many donkeys do you see here?

and eleven.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №17707
 01.07.2009
XXX: I’m wondering what to do...
WOW: So is it?
XXX: What to do
Put the shirt on your head and put it on.
There will be a helicopter

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №17706
 01.07.2009
The city of Voronezh is very interesting for its architectural discoveries, so to speak. One of them is the monument to Pushkin. Why then Pushkin was cut in the testicles, and in sight he resembles Kirkorov with a terrible body, but most pleases the fountain: such a huge stone (a very remarkable huge stone), on the iron column, when the fountain works, the stone looks nice, and the stand is not visible (the stone, it seems, lies on the water), but because. often the fountain does not work, it is just a stone on a rod, and in this regard a very interesting proverb has emerged "Sit on the bench, at the straw on the rod".

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №17705
 01.07.2009
Friends screaming about the trolls. Here I am, for example, a broken gamer.I almost all free from study, work, personal life time I spend for games) and I do not suffer from this))) I in the opinion of others perfectly erudited, in conversational speech I am competent, the session passed on perfectly all, I work in the state structure. The design bureau. The matter is, friends are not in the Games, the matter is in the fools) there will be no games fools will be drug addicts, bombs, beggars) they will do everything only to not work) Games do not cause cruelty) millions of gamers and only a couple of episodes after which the fools already inclined to violence began to shoot all in a row) Games vice versa develop) I, for example, played in the Assasin creed and for the sake of interest studied the order of the times of the first Crusade and along with them and other Catholic and Muslim orders and religious currents) And in my personal life everything is perfect) Games are not evil)

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