bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №69382
 01.09.2012
XXX is Hi! I decided to dilute your beautiful female team a little, adding a male vision of the kitchen to it. Do not judge strictly.)
Recipe "Fresh meat"
Ingredients: Beef (better "spiritual" it’s softer, you can have an entree, but not a steak, it’s hard), port wine, bread, ketchup, salt, pepper, CAT to establish the freshness of products (I have a Maine Kun breed)
Let the cat smell the foods so that it does not digest. Remove the meat. If it is lazy, it can be left so. to send, to send. Bake on a pot at maximum fire on both sides. When you feel that it is burning, turn on the other side.) put the meat on the plate, press the same ketchup there. It must be on a dividing board, because. It is easier to wash and to cut the meat more conveniently. Drink the meat with a bottle of port wine and your happiness is guaranteed!

Do you know why women love men who know how to cook? Not because we are pathologically lazy, but because such men have a sense of humor!

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69381
 01.09.2012
I work and suddenly my inner voice says: "Hohenzollern". Looking for it, it turns out it is a castle in Germany. From where? Where did that word come from in my head?

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69380
 01.09.2012
Women's Forum, theme "Strange habits in men"
Logic, logic... What is logic?! to
I drink coffee with milk and sugar, the guy drinks black and without sugar. In the morning, he drinks his portion, and while I go for breakfast, he has time to drink most of mine with the screams: "Fu, what an abomination you are drinking!" I already tried to make him 2 servings, tried to hide my cup ))) - useless. Fighting with him, right? It seems like a little bit, but without coffee I can not wake up, and in the morning so in a hurry that any delay irritates.
YYY: I did that with sandwiches until I put my toothpaste and masked it with a sausage on top. No more stealing.
Zzzz: Girls, don’t get so upset about the joke. We guys are like cats. A cat can also be fed off, but when he sees a piece of sausage on the table, he still steals, even if the mushroom is already cracking on the seams. It is instinct.

[ + 34 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69379
 01.09.2012
3D-House: Wifi evil, both legs in the toilet

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №69378
 01.09.2012
Dmitry: If raw food is represented in music, it will be people who speak "In ancient times there was no such complex music, it is unnatural. Your jazz is fucking, and I’ll go and listen to the beat of the sticks on the bars"

[ + 33 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69377
 01.09.2012
Just my dad from the toilet from the notebook called my mom on the tablet to the bedroom to find out where the toilet paper is))
The 21st century fucking.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №69376
 01.09.2012
Today, in one health show, the host unexpectedly stated that oxygen is the strongest antioxidant.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69375
 01.09.2012
X: Oh, I am so contradictory!
X: How will it be in English?
Y : Woman
X: The trade is closed! The Applause!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №69374
 01.09.2012
I loved sitting on the window.
and vanilla ))
Natasha: No, I'm just allergic to the dog, and she wants to handle it.
What kind of breed? A jump of years?
Natasha: Labr, 3 years - 37 kg
Fuck yourself on the pen.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69373
 01.09.2012
A case on the road, the priora flies into the new Audi A8 (still without the numbers was), the 2 meter ambal comes out of the audio, and a guy comes out of the priora with the screams "Well you fucking got in";

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №69372
 01.09.2012
In the work:
xxx: Something happened, I got my phone number in some list, and I now sms coming with an offer to buy some smoking drugs. Something there is 0.5 for 80, gram for 150... don’t you know what to do with it?
No doubt, the prices are normal.
X: I wanted to know how to get rid of it.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №69371
 01.09.2012
Two girls in a cafe. Topic: "How to remind a man of his promises".
First: Maybe so: "What prevented you from doing that?
Second: No, better: "And when will you do that? (It makes huge and innocent eyes.) Formulate the question gentler, as if you do not consider it an irresponsible cattle.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69370
 01.09.2012
From Cadastre

As a resident of Minsk, I can’t imagine how you can spend three hours on the road around the city.
ууу: We have, for example, the Tsar, he likes to drive without traffic jams so somewhere at 18:30 are overclocked (red light burns) the Kremlin bridge, a white stone bridge... And the Tsar is, he thinks of Russia, and he is delayed at work, well, people also then think of Russia.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №69369
 01.09.2012
- Sing, and no one told you that if you grow a beard, you will be like Abramovich? Not a beard, but a scarf.

Not $15 billion, but $15 billion. of dollars.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69368
 01.09.2012
Take the mouse with the x2 left click.
Many times press the plus, or minus key x2 so that the emoji starts to flash red without stopping.
Then press plus and minus.
I look back at the side :D

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №69367
 01.09.2012
XXX: Smoke trouble, I opened a cooking site and want to cook
You’d better open the cascade!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №69366
 01.09.2012
Memfis: kindergarten "The joy of the combined kind". This is what wrongly arranged covers do.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №69365
 01.09.2012
After work, I usually left the last, closed the department and didn’t go away. But since the girl left me, the loud phrase of the boss "Vasya, you have been left alone!!" I started to plant out )) at such moments I think of myself "thank you, scum that reminded me". Maybe I should go out of work earlier.)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69364
 01.09.2012
Discussion in contact:
Denny Paradox
Not even the postponement of the core will not help to correct this paradox.

Vova Turov responded to Denny Paradox
Sorry what?! to
The postponement?! to

by Pavel Križanovsky
This is a way for programmers to reproduce—they lay down the core, then squeeze it during working hours, and then the axis is cast out of it! and :)
Support that other programmers escape. And so they reproduce.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69363
 01.09.2012
Next to the snack
As a Chevrolet?
Time will show...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna