Modesty is the ability to spend money on yourself so that it is not visible to others.

A couple of years ago, according to the maintenance schedule, two cranes were replaced at the nuclear power plant: for water and hydraulics. I will not go into details, so as not to accidentally mistake anyone. For the reception of work by the High Commission, the capacity of the cranes had to be checked by a special spending meter. A set of measuring hose and second meter.
The chief of the technician sent the worker to the cleaner behind the cage — but the COMMISSION said, “Hey you! To accept work at the nuclear power plant with the help of it is unclear what cage we will not be. A cage for such a special purpose must be special.”
The chief said, “Okay” and tried to order a hose in the mansion. But there for the manufacture of the tool required from it a full set of drawings: size, material, shape. Separately on the walls, pen and product as a whole.
After pretending that the price of the cage is jumping rapidly from 100 rubles somewhere for 10 tir, the Chief tried to buy a cage in the store - but hell there. He could not buy at his own expense - it is unclear how to put the boiler on the balance sheet and issue it to the Commission, and he could not buy the boiler at the expense of the nuclear power plant, because any purchases by the state enterprise, according to the instructions, required a tender. Through Moscow.
Finally, the chief called us and asked us to buy and send the boiler "in a set" to the cranes, for the benefit of us, as individuals, no tenders were needed for this. And we bought. Not fur-flies, but real German measurement boilers at 270 rubles per piece.
Fuck it to you!! It turned out that the German measurement instrument is not pleased with the Commission. The certificate was issued by the Russian Metrological Service. Thus the cage went to ***c, where they are 2 weeks (!) The price is 1500 rubles (!) It was studied by some specially trained scientists. And they concluded that German boilers for measuring Russian water volumes are still suitable.
and Katarsis:
The shipment is discharged, tickets are bought, the race "under pairs" - and the car sent behind the cages on ***s is in a traffic jamming on the Ligovsky Prospectus. As time has pushed up, we go to the backpack, take a hose and a litre bowl of chlorine from the cleaner, pour water from under the crane, mark the levels with a marker, and then send the race with this "product". The scanned certificate of the metrological service is sent by e-mail.
The High Commission safely signs the Acceptance Act! The speed of filling the cage of the cleaner, but with labels from the marker it was quite arranged.
As for the veers, their fate was also very remarkable. Thanks to the availability of certificates, they took an active part in the maintenance of APL reactors, after which they were washed off oil (interestingly, what did they measure there with these boilers?) Now I went to work in India. What is characteristic, from second meters the Hindus refused. They say they have enough of that good. This is a certified a-a...

And also with me is studying a girl who seriously believes that the last president of the USSR was Nikita Mikhalkov.
But the most frightening thing is that when she said this at a history seminar, only two people laughed: the teacher and I.

Discussion of the transport company in the forum:
I haven’t had a deal with auto-raiding for a long time.
Spend on unloading the fur 5 working days (on Monday and tracking, and the call gave me that the fur came and unloads, and only on the next Monday it unloaded to the end and I was able to pick up my package) - this is already a direct competition with the Russian post.

How to know a smart person or not:
You need to ask him a question on ask.fm: "The capital of Italy?"
If he answers "Rome", then he is a fool.
If he doesn’t have an account on ask.fm, he’s smart.

Gargling is everywhere!! When in the tram conductor she gives 25r, she whispers asks: the ticket is needed? I grit: Yes to her. She returns 15 )))

[11:47] Alexander: Take the courage.

[11:48] Dmitry: You made 3 mistakes in the word Hang.

My one comes from the parking lot, squeezed, holding her leg. And her voice is like a multiplex:
What am I cheering for?
My W, it hurts!
I – What happened?
My - she's not on the alarm, I can't leave!
Did I lock you in the parking lot?
My one is a-a.
Why does my leg hurt?
My - I was in the wheel, missed and got into the cast-a-a.

xxx: The MIT is removing from its websites the very popular online courses of physics by Walter Lewis.
xxx: MIT received a complaint from one of the participants of the online course, and after the investigation found that Lewis was engaged in online sexual harassment (which means no further explanation).
YYY: Online sexual harassment? Given that it is about recording courses, it is interesting how he did it.
Zzz: Maybe he just wore the wrong shirt.

The head of the company has a car worth about two million rubles, so he believes that paying a salary to employees in the amount of 15,000 rubles is very much, so he pays 8000.

I brought the eggs home. The guests asked the youngest (3 years old):
Masha, what does the oak eat?
Masha (thinking about it)
Escape is eating!

Orthodox lessons for the youngest:
Are you ready, kids?
Yes the Patriarch!
I do not hear...
That is true, Patriarch!
“Towowou... Who lives on the firmament of Heaven?
Jesus Christ!
By whose word will all the corpses rise again?
Jesus Christ!
Who defeats Satan everywhere?
Jesus Christ!
Who is running so hard on the water?
Jesus Christ!
The Choir:
Jesus Christos, Jesus Christos... Jesus Christos, Jesus Christos! WAHAHAHAHAHA! WAHAHA! and Amen.

I value a lot of things, including (as a smart guy) the young age of a girl: youth is the same capital of a woman as the mind of men.
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The smart guy understands that the mind with the years will not go anywhere (well to Alzheimer's, in any case), and youth is fast-flowing. It turns out that the male capital will remain, and the female will evaporate. And what, will your “smart” grandmother change every 3-5 years? There is no smarter place.