Alisa: call me
My tooth hurts, I can’t talk.
I’ll call you in 10 minutes.
Yohoho: handcuffs

I put a 16:9 ratio on the TV, turned on the news. They showed the officials - returned at 4:3. I can’t see such wide mouths.)

In one of the South Park series, Stan began to think that modern music is like a curtain.
xxx: At first it seemed funny to me, and then I listened to the dubstep

xxx: I just talked to a colleague from Omsk, there is now -36
xxx: was there a year ago and there the frost is much easier to feel
Yyy: It’s because you’re constantly running away from the hook.

I hate washing dishes, especially old dishes. Fuck, when I pulled out a plate of two-week flour at the bottom, I thought it was sick now. Greetings to all who did not welcome.
YYY: I am sick from fresh. And a bowl with pork fat four days old wash? What about potatoes with mayonnaise a week ago?
zzz: Flood all the ferries, open the crane, leave for 10 minutes. You close the crane and leave it until next Monday.
BBB: Next Monday you throw it out and buy a new one.
zzz: Preferably a kitchen.

from ZH
Dr. Piliulkin: My younger, five-year-old son asks his mother to heat the soup in the microwave.
Did you cook the soup in the microwave?
No, my mother answered. When I was a kid, there were no microwaves.
The son cries, thinks and cautiously clarifies:
Was there a fire then?

Dyus: I went yesterday to remove money from the ATM near the philologist’s corps. In front of me is a guy who came out of this corps. If he is in his turn, he chooses some amount and a message appears such as:"Sorry, but the note is less than 200 grams. not", he did not think a lot with the words:"a, okay - persuaded" gains!100gr.After another similar message, he expressed his face:"What a fucking thing!!" nervously pulls out the card makes a step to the side and stops, a little thought (he probably obscured), again approaches the ATM and with glowing eyes slowly gains 200. you would see how he was delighted when a banknote appeared from the ATM))

What a man should know...
1) Make money
2) Give to another man
3) Destroy the woman
4) Find friends to repeat the first three points

Usually, the life of empty light bulbs ends at the washing, and only the lucky ones - in the laboratory of the clinic.

Can you tell me what year the Spartacus uprising took place?
I am not interested in football.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

From the flash game:

Something, and weapons shooting with radioactive saucers, I did not expect.

At 12 a.m., the neighbors decided that it was time to put off the perforator, eat it and start roaring: "White Roses" under a damaged phonogram.

How can you explain to a cat that the washing machine is not his house, and that we will ever wash it?

I now hear a student running out of the men’s dressing room with a joyful cry "I saw him! See also"
In the course of the day the girl succeeded.

Arsenic (01:22:57)
Are you teaching everything?

I love you (01:23:19)
Yes Yes

Arsenic (01:23:30)
The poor...

I love you (01:27:36)
Oh well okay. I think it’s time to say about it. First of all, I am not a poor man, I have all the sbs. Secondly. and Senya! Oh my own! The poor woman! What test word do you constantly get? The word Nash?

In the news: the Ministry of Internal Affairs is creating a database of corruptors. I thought things should be started, not recorded.

On one well-known website news "In Moscow began to celebrate Hanuka". The best match (+5): "no shoj, with a holiday, the first toast for the Holocaust! The second is for continuation!"

And (+9) "In the Odessa port there is a steam boat, on board the inscription: "To Israel". The Jews go to him a day, second. On the third day, an elderly Jew approached and asked the sailor:
Do you have it, is it immeasurable?
No, it’s not going to be bad."

Q: Do you want to go through your ass or what normal people?
I have some people, I have my own.

XXX: The length of my hook was 14 cm. But then I started singing a puddle of puddle every day! And the length of my tail became 21 cm!
And, yes, I almost forgot, I was still in the coffin!
YYY: And who has stretched your tail there?

Again about duties. I’m scratching now, but I can’t read that stuff anymore.
Treat each other as full people. Guys, don’t treat a girl as a brainless apparatus for fucking, household services and sometimes knocking down on the ‘fucking’ brain option, treat her as a person. Girls, don’t treat a guy like a wallet with ears and a brain of a 9-year-old, treat him like a human being. Everyone wants to be loved, appreciated and have the right to choose.

(It is true, my boyfriend believes that you need to be absolutely indifferent, unemotional, not in need of anyone and not upset even in the case of the death of a spouse or child, but this is a private case.)