bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125295
 10.03.2016
One condom is enough for my whole life.
How is it?
I married him.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125294
 10.03.2016
xxx: from 8.03
YYY: And that’s all? After all that happened between us.
xxx: from 8.03.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125293
 10.03.2016
The political correctness and tolerance of modern cinema is reduced to bringing the character-baba to a place where it originally wasn’t and making any character black, even if the Negroes don’t live there.
Well, selectively someone from the hetero suddenly becomes a homo

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125292
 10.03.2016
Yesterday I went to congratulate my girlfriend on the eighth.
I haven’t seen anything like this before, honestly.
The walls are painted, this is the norm.
But her room is filled with laptops and tablets.
Tags: broken
HH: And she costs them. despite the fact that she is a humanitarian of pure water and with the word "resistor" is barely baptized
I am silent about every fair-requisit.
In the middle of the room is a steel ball. Departure from the Department of Materials at the audit. Why is lying? " to be" You will not argue...
Boy, get married

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125291
 10.03.2016
And now ask your mom already adult to talk to you about sex and the variety of methods of protection.
////
No, but not my mom. All this heresy that they wrote to them was the mother and told them: about ppa, hot shower, lemon and aspirin, abortions without anesthesia and pills from which the third breast grows.
About all the rest of the mother is not aware - there was no sex in their country.
P.S Consultation can be obtained at the nearest Family Planning Center.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125290
 10.03.2016
According to the results of 2015, Post of Russia delivered 51% of orders from online stores to Russian consumers.
Openly said: And the remaining 49% we sowed!

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №125289
 10.03.2016
On the other hand, about gender equality: in no club or cafe or restaurant where men have 200, women 100 entrances, I have not seen striking feminists demanding equality.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125288
 10.03.2016
Today at lunch I speak to my husband: I want coffee, will you cook?

The husband obviously does not want to do this, looks at the sides, in search of how to avoid this dull operation, notices a cup next to the coffee machine.

The husband is happy: oh, there is still yesterday's coffee left, now I will pull the fly out of it and warm it up, will you?! to

I: O_o

What are you, she’s a little girl...

He gets a spoonful of flies and goes with a bowl to the microwave.

On March 8th =)

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125287
 10.03.2016
here here :
A bunch of cats for those who know what this story is:

There was such a story: researchers flew to a planet destroyed by ancient war. He resurrected an ancient monster. Realizing their mistake, they tried to fly away quickly, but the monster managed to get into the ship. The researchers were not humanoids, but what kind belonged to the terrible deadly alien, I think, can not be suggested.
If you replace an ancient war with a space disaster, this is Alfred Van Vogt’s “The Monster” story.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125286
 10.03.2016
Who suggests:

As a child, I watched the cartoon "Hunters of ghosts", in which the hunters had a device to search for these ghosts. And almost in every series he had them "stacked". Everything could not understand why they would not repair it / repair it / switch it to show it normally.
What is the tension on the network?
The multimeter is shaking!! to
So what fucking thing did you turn it on at 200 volts? Go to 750.

So it has them and calibrated to measure the normal "Providence" background. And how he begins to scratch - "Camera. The motor. It was"

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №125285
 10.03.2016
My attempt to run my teamviwer on a laptop instilled human hatred, misanthropy, despair, thirst for violence and a desire to get drunk.
(The program has not been launched)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125284
 10.03.2016
XHH: On a rainy day near the san-gig of the NMU corps, in a row in the barracks stands such an exotic afrodisiac with afrocoses. He grabs in the phone, chewing a cigarette. A car passes through the gazebos and sneaks on the fashionable shoes of the Afrodite with dirt from under the wheels. The girl echoes and suddenly in pure Russian, well, almost without an accent, gives a ringing and brief replica, the meaning of which is to wish the whistleblower to deprive the anal virginity by means of a suckle. And you look at this scene, and immediately the rainy day becomes a little brighter.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №125283
 10.03.2016
Yesterday there was a typical case of trying to cut a high price for a ticket in the electric car.
I sit on my site and I know the branch from and to.only entered the car and here they are.revisors.fit.continue dialogue:
Where and where? he asked.
From 604 to 582
She loops her eyes and declares, almost victoriously raising her voice:
You did not sit there!
I’m quiet—Well, let’s check, call the station for Battle?
She fell into.
I will teach you the game and give you 12 rubles.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №125282
 10.03.2016
fe_city_boy

The younger brother always carries things for the older brother. Always »
(Andy and Larry Wachowski)

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