In Russia, the road is considered bad when there is no possibility to circumvent the pit.

The dentist. I ask :
I have some plumbing for over ten years. Is it time to change them?
- Usually, it is time to change the seals when it is time for the doctor to change the TV or kitchen. I am not time. Go to.

“I am proud that I have such friends,” Vladimir Putin said about Sergei Roldugin, commenting on the publication of the Panama Papers.
Do you want to fight corruption? Start by placing three of your friends. You know for what, and they know for what.” – Lee Kuan Yu, Singapore’s first prime minister, one of the creators of Singapore’s economic miracle.

(Vkontakte group dedicated to news of the city of N)
News 1: 1 million rubles were allocated for catching and destroying wandering dogs in the city N.
News 2, three days later: South Korean delegation introduced to the sights of N.
The first comment under the news 2: Yes, with the allocation of a million to fight the dogs clearly rushed.

XX: I thought I was going to take antidepressants.

Every day gets worse and worse.

YYY: Well, if you think they will help you...

X: What will help me?

Yyy: Not what, but who

You would be happier if you had someone.

XXX is psychiatrist.

After the meeting, colleagues spoke (the meeting was in English).
Have you understood anything?
It’s all about fish and fish.
What kind of fish?
- Well "e fish", "e fish".
and efficiency?

Notes of a Naked Man

I am sitting in my backpack.

There will soon be police in Russia.
When are the Musketeers?

The law on donations was introduced in the Duma. If not announced, they will land. There are glorious days when you can knock on a neighbor and enter his house.

XXX is
I am sitting, I am walking by parents with children, I hear the dialogue.

XXX is
Child:"Let’s go to the zoo of animals"

XXX is
Parent:"And the beasts flew to the south, they are not"

by 20042
Drawing out of the acne jyrtrest?)))
Men do not act! Fuck the costume! We love your back, chest, ass and legs)) not less than you love female charms) we are pleased to see you in varying degrees of nakedness! Love yourself and us!

xxxh: (looking around, at his workplace) Prikin, I was suddenly remembered in [the name of the city-forming enterprise]. They say, and you go to us to work for a three times lower salary.

I am: and I was told in an interview that I wasn’t fit. In response, they write to me: Well, we have disassembled your test code and we have no claims to you.
I write: yeah you know, I’ve actually found a job for three times the size of the SP.

HHH: And here they write to me: Yes, you are wrong, who will take you with your application in general in principle to work as a programmer?!! to

I don’t even know... a programmer in general rarely has to communicate with strangers... more often with letters. And you know what? I’ve never seen a single person who is stuck in a letter.

Yesterday, I stumbled over the nurse.
I donate blood and give her my left hand.
XX: Remember how my fingers of my guitar stinked.
XXX: He ticked once and began to squeeze blood. And she doesn’t push out (in the shoe ticked again) and again)
yyy: You had to turn your head so, and with the robotic voice "Ja-Lki-e ce-lo-we-ki"
XXX: Sorry I didn’t think about it then.
XXX: Five times, until I, in the open hole, gave her my right hand.

Vasily Gavrilenko

EEH
I thought spring would come and I would start a new way of life". Go to bed earlier, get up earlier, more sports, bicycle.
But – spring, warm and... no reluctance and no reluctance.
Take a tree :)

For many in the city, I’m already a family doctor. And the tea (beer) is sung, and the family life is told and asked... I put on somehow different socks (well, so - each couple lost, not to miss out, and I am a computer freak, not a dendi)... Boys-a-a, lifefax, no less! I always wear it now, because now, in addition to increasing my earnings, I have a pair of 50 new socks from customers - considered low-income!
The warmth will begin!When I put on my punks and jeans...

In the group with the title: audiobooks for pleasant leisure

1st S is King. lighting
2nd F.M and Dostoevsky. Crime and punishment.
Three by P. Zuskin The Parfum

Oh yes!

Help with advice:
Why are you unemployed?
I have a judgment. And with it they take only in the courts, in the burgers and in the deputies.

Come to us in Belarus. No one will take you to court with judgment. The choice you will have will be small - either the chairman of the colloquium, or the deputy director for the reconstruction of some plant.

xxx: We even had an elite school, but we behaved with teachers just like assholes. Like any other school. How they endured it, I just can’t imagine. still ashamed. But our Obzhist, a retired colonel, made us like no one else. He found a way not to write to the controls. We wrote all the tests in anti-gases. Filming was allowed only by handing over a sheet. It was removed earlier for removal. And it’s really funny – when the whole class is sitting in the anti-gases. And if you start to laugh - the glasses will sweat, not that the stove, your leaf of shit you will see. And you start to mess up in the wrong way, it is very burning because with this respiratory box you knock on the table or on the neighbor. In general, a great uncle, left very bright memories.

Prolog: made the site, all questions about the domain, hosting, installation and development the customer took over. Received the money, handed over a disk with the distribution and a text file with the installation manual. A month later, a call from the employer (Z):

A: Something from your site has no effect, no one customer in a month.

I: Well, what do you want from me? The design you liked, the disk with the site I gave you... the rest to marketers and advertisers...

Q: I have already applied, dearly. I asked for the address of the website, but you never told me.

I: You said you’re going to buy a domain and hosting...

Q: Yes, but it’s later, now we need the site to start working, the rest afterwards.



All this time the site existed only on the disk, lying in the safe.

Recently, I realized that the best jokes come from life. told a acquaintance.

They have a parking at work. And, one day, a freezer stole her car right in the middle of a working day. Called the mentions. I have to say that they saved there on everything, so from the guard on the parking lot there was only a young guy, recently from the army, nothing knowing, but agreed to work for half a day. Naturally, he saw nothing, heard nothing. There was a video camera out of the parking lot. So he joyfully approached the victim and the police and:

I watched the camera recording. Everything is seen there!

See who was driving the car? I asked one of the law enforcement officers.

“No, but I was able to see the number of the car,” the guard replied and stretched the paper to the owner of the stolen car.



P.S The car was then found.