bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №65435
 10.06.2012
>>... arrives rescue swirls jump rescue in the water with great difficulty sails to a woman who is almost going to the bottom and gives such a phrase -GOD DAY MADAM!........ pickup master bleat, maybe he would still there in the ocean offered her to dinner<<

I would suggest if needed. This is extreme psychology, friends. Rescue workers are specially trained. Imagine a similar situation: you drown, you say goodbye to life, all in hysteria, - and suddenly from the sky a cute girl jumps to you in the water and is interested: "You miss you, young man?" Heaven would have forgotten at all about the storm and the accident, and that in the water you talk to your ears. Thus...


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №65434
 10.06.2012
Where did you throw the rubbish yesterday?
Smoke was thrown into the rubbish pipeline
Yyy: On the road on some floor
I have no rubbish in my house.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №65433
 10.06.2012
XXX: Let the lines of the songs continue?
Go to: Go
The pink flamingos.
Title: The Child Hurt

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65432
 10.06.2012
Art113: you think it is easy for me to work as a translator for our former businessmen, I was busy translating the phrase "Tell him to go on the go" as a partner with you disagree on this issue.

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65431
 10.06.2012
@Altervision13
Yes, girls, I am a perverse: I REALLY will come to you to make a computer, I will start, I will really drink a coffee, then I will take your money and leave! The cloud!)

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65430
 10.06.2012
In the morning, the door rings, two young bodies with the Bible in their hands... they begin to pair my teaching... I’m right into their foreheads, no, we Jews can’t... and they have unbelief on their faces. I say to them: do not believe, and I begin to scatter the width, and they are shrinking like devils from holy water. I don’t understand why I showed them this... in the days of their god, they were all circumcised.

[ + 35 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65429
 10.06.2012
I had a fun conversation with my dad.
How is it at school?
is normal
In what class are you already? In the sixth?
I am in the ninth...
Wait, how old are you?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №65428
 10.06.2012
The young man who wrote:

We constantly argue with the girl: I tell her that after taking the shower it is necessary to shake (so that the water in the hose does not remain, and he, therefore, does not rust), and she in response - "only leaks out". Tertiary sex signs what to do.

When I read your message, I immediately recalled a shower in a hotel with a plastic tube constantly popping out, wrapped in aluminum foil. And my husband just asked you to communicate that you are a balbese, because the shower tube is basically made of plastic or rubber. The rails around it are "armor" such. Rush there for nothing.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65427
 10.06.2012
De3ak: Sorry, the standard aska is awful.
Go to the quip, honestly, you will not regret it.
Anastasia: I agree, I've been holding on for a long time, now it's a pleasure.
Cosmonaut: You are the same girls in everything.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65426
 10.06.2012
The American businessman’s dream is to earn a million, and the Russian one a billion.

[ + 65 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65425
 10.06.2012
When ladies say that “men have one thing in mind,” they don’t even know how many of us have in mind:
How to live to a salary;
How to fuck a neighbor.
How to make children learn well;
How to treat a former classmate.
How to overthrow the “hate regime”;
How to fuck an accountant.
How to take a loan to give, and then throw the bank;
How to fuck the one you meet every day at the bus stop.
How to prevent the Earth from colliding with an asteroid
whom to fuck first, if such a clash is inevitable;
– I.T.D I. t. p.
You are a primitive creature!! to

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №65424
 10.06.2012
xyx: He dropped his whole portion, then quietly pulled my plate to himself, ate a cottage, covered up the salad, pulled away lazily, and said, “Oh, and the girls are sitting out nothing like that. To get to know what?" Here I can’t stand, I ask:"Slavik, you want to eat from their plates?"

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №65423
 10.06.2012
I am funny with my mom.

Mother: remove your room so that I can enter there at night without breaking my legs!
I: Mom, what do you need in my room and at night?! to
I have access to all the rooms of this house!
I: of something?
I am the admin of this domain!! to
and :)

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №65422
 10.06.2012
there
I will give the apartment to someone who will give me a phone that will turn on the alarm on Saturday.! to

c) Coolkin
I will call you on my mobile phone every Saturday.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №65421
 10.06.2012
There are rumors that Facebook wants to buy Opera.
YYY: what to close
xxx is =))
yyy: they thought it would be cheaper than holding a department for the mounting under it

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №65420
 10.06.2012
Dr. Morf: The chat conversation that completely broke my brain.

Hello guys, how are you doing?
Welcome to PSG, OK

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №65419
 10.06.2012
You can use the program with the help of the mouse, but it is much easier to do this with the help of 247 keyboard shortcuts, the list of which is located on the next page...

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №65418
 10.06.2012
It is said that if guests came to Joseph Brodsky, a sign of a special location was the poet's proposal: "Would you want me to wake up a cat for you?"

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №65417
 10.06.2012
Worse than the neighbors above can only be the flooded neighbors below!

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №65416
 10.06.2012
Everybody said goodbye to Edward Hill.
Once, in the mid-1970s, Edward Hill sang in Krasnodar in the opera theatre. The auditorium was so crowded that additional chairs were displayed in the passages. Our seats were somewhere in the geometric center of the hall. A nice couple is about 30 years old.
In the entrance, as usual, many went, who smoked, who in the buffet. Neighbors also left. Somewhere with the third ringing, on the side, a messy neighbor came across. one one.
Until everything in the buffet drinks will not break away - she broke through, as if apologizing.
The light in the hall was extinguished, and the scene, on the contrary, filled with bright light. Smiling Hill continued his speech. One song, a second...and finally, under the ovation of the joyful audience, Edik sang the long-awaited – In the woods on the hole lived Winter in the bush...
Suddenly, on the side of the side passage, half a whisper was heard:
Liu – u-u-u-sya
Here is the cattle, our neighbor whispered and pulled his head into his shoulders.
- Liu-U-U-Sya, raise the ru-u-u-ku - continued to pull Lusin satellite.
Everyone in the team turned their heads to the left.
Hill silenced and smiled even wider. The silence and the orchestra.
To the lover of theatre buffets, lavishing between the additional chairs, a woman was already flying. Probably the administrator. He saved Hill.
"Young man," he called the man, "go up here on the stage!
He was prepared to go through the passage.
He told me where the stairs were. Feeling on the stage, he forgot about his Lucy, rushed to kiss Edward Hill and almost dive into the orchestral pit. Hill caught him and brought him to the microphone:
Call your Lucy!
He was so upset that the dynamics sounded.
Ready to fail out of shame, Lucy bended halfway and hid her face in her palm.
Then Hill asked Lucy to raise her hand. Under the applause of the public, a joyful man bowed to his place.
Do we continue? I asked Hill’s audience.
First of all!! Around the hall
Hill made a sign to the conductor.
At the forest on the shovel lived Winter in the shovel...
His memory is bright.

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