>> "- And what, is it true that almost every car owner in Russia has a video recorder? Does he really record everything? Why is it"

It is burning for youth! The stupid

All have arrived. I just caught myself in the thought that I do not want to fuck, but to teenage.

111: and to me after the past drinking still not sex hunting ))111: apparently the body has not yet come to normal )111: you need to be transplanted on seafood and bananas to recover faster ) 222: on bananas sit more carefully...

Husband: - And in general, I don't snore at you, it's me who drives the baby away from you so that I don't stick.
I: So why does this little girl go to me twice a night? and ;)
So, as long as I’m snoring, it doesn’t stick!

So don’t you be here using other people’s words.
– – – – –
You have self-censorship.

"with respect, the owner of a taxi."
--------
Here is she, Spencer! has hit! Fight her boy!! to

I go to work in the morning in a crowded bus.I have a tasty uncle, behind him is his wife, who obviously needs to eat one barrel a day less.

Wife: If, Anna, let’s change, I’m uncomfortable here!
I : No! (Without turning back and realizing that she will stifle me to the harams if they change.)
The Wife: When!I did not understand!I will throw you out of the bus!
Husband: Hey, I did not say anything.
Wife: You don’t say or put in all your life!

There is always a switch on every bomb.

Bruce Willis did not know.

xxx: Horror - "I know how you fucked the 1st course".
Waisteen horror... You can’t be so scared in the morning.
XX: I also say to them - none, guys, we haven't done it yet. And the simplex method touches me with angular points, as if it had not been added to the functional.

All tips from pickup sites can be translated into a single phrase: "you want to start a fire - throw wood into the fire"

The first day I went to visit my father. His house is on the edge of the forest. The Father sits like the first number "subsoft". We are sitting "Talk" Here his wife looks out the window.
- "O!Look, white" father not turning his head with a dull voice -"Do not touch her, she came to the room"

Cats vs Dogs

We had a black beetle and a black dog stayed at the entrance. The two hated each other terribly through the door, but they didn’t get into close contact—just until the day when the whale unnoticedly jumped out into the corridor and was accidentally left outside.

The case was winter. In the morning we found in the corner something enormous, black and shapeless, which, when closely examined, turned out to be a pyramid of a sleeping dog and a peacefully curled cat right on it. Since then, these two were not the water, the cat often went out to sleep in the hallway, sometimes invited the dog to us in the hallway, and when she disappeared - long craved on her carpet.

How much time and truffle killed, and torin sailed 3 seconds

<xxx> I accidentally learned that the pocket on the trousers was meant for a condom.
<xxx> And I wore all kinds of SIM cards and microSD in it so that I didn’t lose...

In the near future, "Unstoppable 3" will be released and there will be the following quote:
Just don’t get upset, it’s Legolas.

10 people sentenced to jail for theft of gold and things in World of Warcraft
The first comments:
Is there a prison in World of Warcraft?
Yyy: In the StormGrad.)

Andrei, aggregation is when you buy a sauce. Sex without love is called fuck.

Electricity which:
I have African Americans here.
Oh... what?
Nigerians are here.
and where? O_O
Well, I’ll go and I’ll have Nigers here!
Where is there?
I caught the virus!
Is it on the table?
Well yes!

I talk to my wife on the phone:
I: You will go through the Proletarian, you will get to the crossroads from Dzerzhinsky, by it directly, past Magnit, Sberbank and Caravan. The caravan is already at the crossroads from Lunacharsky. All the time straight, through the waiting road, and there will already be Suvorova. Well, if you get lost, you have a Yandex Card on your phone.
Why do I need Yandex cards? I have a Yandex husband.

Commentary on the article on the CES2014 exhibition at the Intel stand:

by Sergey Poroshenko:
Well, I don’t know who treats computer gesture management, but I think this technology is very promising. And the scenarios of use can be invented car. Intelle to note (when implementing my gestures, please do not forget to deduct the fee on my card):
- scratched the puzo - a browser with a cooking page opens
- stumbled in the nose - "host" boring, you need to start YouTube
- stumbled onto the screen with the screams "what for us?" - launch "task manager" and close the app
Fingers with a veer/soppy with a bubble – the computer understands who is in charge and grants administrator rights.
- dressed a sweater and got a beer - Sisadmin came, opened the management of networks and shared access
- grabbed the head and convulsively runs the eyes on the monitor - find and open the file "course.doc"
- sharply pulled out the clothes, put his right hand on the mouse, scratched the cheeks - a mommy entered the room, turned the window with porn, find and open the file "course.doc"
- scratches a cloth in front of the monitor - nothing to do, the guy just wipes the dust
- showed the naked ass - reinstalling Vinny...