bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №74163
 11.12.2012
xxx: Found archive behind a package with old shoes of dismissed employees

yyy: from this phrase waves Buchenwald

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №74162
 11.12.2012
Ohhhhh, the cat!
You are absolutely
We do not call you human.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74161
 11.12.2012
The boss called me "a miracle"
Congratulations to you ?
Oh, a miracle you are, says the rectal! And went away! I am in Aachen. and the secretary says it’s not scary yet that he once called her the “ovulatory sheep,” and nothing, they’ve been working together for the fifth year...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №74160
 11.12.2012
I decided in which centuries to make a house in German.
She opened a textbook (Soviet, 1985), exercise: translate the story into German: In the winter evenings the family sat at the table. We drank tea, talked about books, about work. Aunt Anna came after the concert, sat down at the piano, quietly sang. The lamp hanged low above the table. It was warm and comfortable. Then my mother died." O_O closed the textbook

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №74159
 11.12.2012
After three years of divorce, she decided to return to her ex-wife. In the first week of my life together again I remembered why I loved her :). After a month I remembered why I got divorced :(

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74158
 11.12.2012
How? How is? she cleaned the glass - broke the rear door, tried to repair and broke the broken part.
Is he with you?
No, I lost him.
Fuck me, my masha.

and MV

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №74157
 11.12.2012
A conversation in the kitchen:

“Well, for example, Juliet was 14 years old, what’s the problem?
- Oh, Romeo said - don't lie down, until 16 - no-no, he in response - yes to me, I want to, his knife and shot.
This is the shortest Shakespeare story I’ve ever heard.)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №74156
 11.12.2012
My husband is the head of a newly established department. Therefore, he actively manages the recruitment of employees. I found a leaflet at home, a telephone number and a signature - students of pedicure 2 pieces.

[ + 42 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74155
 11.12.2012
Remember the difference between "we eat" and "we eat".
"Edem" is "eat", and "eat" is "moving", and "we eat in the bus" means that we eat in it, but not the fact that we have at least moved from place!

[ + 56 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74154
 11.12.2012
I thought, after the lighting loci from the shaurma, my wife could not surprise me with anything. How naive I was.
The morning. Early 5 hours. I sleep. Suddenly something joyfully jumps and cries upon me. I open one eye and see a woman licking from ear to ear:
and Murzick! The Moroccan!! The cane is working!! Rraah, I will now eat you as a female godmother!
He pretends to bite my head.

That’s how from all this I should have understood that she’s expecting a baby??! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №74153
 11.12.2012
Commentary on ZH:

> or to roast or to cry. As long as I crawl and crawl.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №74152
 11.12.2012
What do you know about savings? Washing the plastic bags of the child’s leather compared to the actions of my brother’s wife. She washes all the white in the laundry machine, hangs it in the bath, gathers all the water, then pouches it back and washes the colored things in that water. Then repeat the procedure and wash the black already! I asked her about the toilet paper. I was offended.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №74151
 11.12.2012
In the words of Father:
I remember when I was working at the factory, the head of the shop was constantly drinking. That is to say, it was only necessary to approach him on important issues until noon - after him no one. And there was a master - a man already under 70, with golden hands. I could pull out a metal chain. I also drank regularly in the morning.
So, at the end of the work shift, two loneliness met. (M) Aster says to the leader:
M: Felix, I need a mark!
N (long looking at it): Yes... We have few buttons...
Pause for 30 seconds
M: Felix, I don’t need much! I need one!"

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №74150
 11.12.2012
Aaa: I love you, little girl =* hug yourself for me before going to bed ;)
BBB: I will embrace you :* take me off before I go to bed :DDDD

[ + 31 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74149
 11.12.2012
Anatoly: And that’s good.
fucking
I don’t want to wait for N27.
I want you. and sweets
I will grind you with crumbs.
and honey.
and chocolate
and shrinking
and caramel.
Sugar Powder
Cook in the oven for 25 minutes.
Anna: Thank you very much.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №74148
 11.12.2012
Chat guild of one MMORPG:
Stalin is accepted into the Guild "Red"
Christ has risen, friends!
Stalin is excluded from the Guild "Red"

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74147
 11.12.2012
The news:

The US will take the place of Russia in case of its withdrawal from Baikonur

I already feel the news: Obama demands to liberate the democratic Baikonur from the monstrous tyranny of the Russians.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №74146
 11.12.2012
[15:45:54] Masha: I have an affigenic electronic spark
[15:45:54] Masha: the stitch of a bunch of pens sharpened
[15:45:57] Masha: yet another tochu
[15:46:04] Nick: (rofl)
Masha: I’ve done it all.
Masha: There is nothing to do anymore
[16:25:13] Nick: You listened to part of the opera "My Liban Office", monologue: "Why do I have a scraper when I have an electronic pencil scraper"

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74145
 11.12.2012
Go to Nashville! I have two identical lighters, one of which is completely empty and does not burn, and the other is half full and burns very easily. For a long time, he trained his intuition periodically pulling out one of them in the hope of pulling out the one that would light up. And I learned this and now show it as a magic to everyone I know. The secret is simple. For a long time, I asked my subconscious mind how to learn to feel the upcoming events, and one day it answered me: “Vasya, go down! The empty wheel, if pressed, does not spin!" This is the whole secret.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №74144
 11.12.2012
Today I realized that my cat was a poppy in a past life.
YYY: What is it?
Chci : despite the fact that he already weighs 3 kg - climbs to my shoulder and arranges there *(

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