bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №157731
 11.03.2022
Photographs on which a person lost weight from 120 to 60 kilograms are coolly encouraging. You know that you can always lose weight and keep eating.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №157730
 11.03.2022
We have a good relationship with one wonderful family, they have sons. It was a time when his voice broke. In the measure of his curiosity, he asked his grandmother why this happened. To which she, not long thinking, replied, "Our grandson, the shit grows - the ligaments stretch." A wonderful grandmother! )

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №157729
 11.03.2022
At the final stop in the industrial district, the insane type of man tries to find a worthy interlocutor.

The choice falls on the intelligent in the glasses and with the portfolio in the hands.

Do you have 30 rubles?

The intelligent answered:

I don’t have them, but you’ll spend them on drinking.

The man objects:

Except for the cake.

“Well, go to the kiosk, show me what cake, I’ll buy it for you.

Move to a food kiosk with a brand name, and the confused look of a man becomes the owner of a cake with potatoes.

I said it wasn’t for vodka.

From the pocket comes a sealed glass.

I already have vodka.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №157728
 11.03.2022
pregnant in the last month. At night it becomes not good, I apparently give birth, call an ambulance.

The ambulance, listening to the symptoms, exactly giving birth, went.

At night, the guard opens the door and asks what happened.

Birth has arrived.

You, of course not. (He is so smiling)

The doctor describes the symptoms. The doctor, well, it looks like birth, examination, tests, etc. And no, not even close. Here is your nose, the baby will wait for another week.

I asked the security guard how. And he answers, I sit here for so many years, on the face in one second to determine who is giving birth and who is not.

I am an experienced expert))

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №157727
 11.03.2022
XXX: Tefal no longer thinks of you

YYY: And Johnson & Johnson no longer cares about you and your health.

zzz: Johnson's Baby is now spitting eyes.

Maybelline: Everyone Is Not Enjoyed by You

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №157726
 11.03.2022
In Vietnam ordered a sharp phobo, blat прошибло so that he was sweaty and swallowed, all the juice they had with a mineral drinked on the march, asked this sauce to buy with him, the tube was taken out of the green like a pipette, said for 20 liters of soup, and in truth, in a 10-litre pot this pipette turns into an adish borst, nobody ate, the wife for the waste of the pigs sent, they then ate all the snow in the volley, then the door at the sarai broke and in the garden they were eating snow, then looked in the sucreries.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №157725
 11.03.2022
I was born and lived in a country of victorious socialism. But now there is a state with surrealism winning.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №157724
 11.03.2022
Call to the accountant. The problem, they say, is not access to the bank. I sit, I suffer, I don’t understand what the mess is... And it turned out that the account was blocked! Due to multiple incorrect passwords. I ask, tell me, what is the matter. He replies that he entered a password, but, not finding the desired letter on the key, entered a similar one. “I thought they’t notice...” The day sought to unblock the account. This is how we live =)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №157723
 11.03.2022
Pepsi, McDonald’s, Coca-Cola, American cinema... I’m stuck with the idea that the Americans decided to make us a healthy and mentally normal nation.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №157722
 11.03.2022
The number of suicides in Russia has fallen to the lowest level in 50 years. Everyone wondered how it would end.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №157721
 11.03.2022
I am sitting in Murray.

A funny guy in line. Oral that it is not necessary to transfer rights after deprivation. He took out papers where it was written that he should. And his arguments were that in TikTok on the blogger is signed and he says it is not necessary.)))

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