bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140422
 11.04.2017
In my opinion, the miracle with potatoes is the same as the guests who came to him (guest!) He forced the dishes to wash and from their legitimate outrage also derived the idea of their commerciality and mercancy.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140421
 11.04.2017
Are you satisfied with the salary level?
level is satisfied. I am not satisfied that it is not paid for two months!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140420
 11.04.2017
>>>That is You are not against video surveillance in all the rooms you have at work except the toilet cabin?

How is it besides? The most important thing is how much paper you spend.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140419
 11.04.2017
I was already bored by the constant multi-voiced whirling of pigeons from the ventilation. The problem is that I recently was on the roof - and there are no pigeons, and the windows and windshields on the roof are picked up with a metal grid... It seems that in our entrance settled a supercriminal Man-Dove with the superpowership to stumble in the elevator and squeeze the seeds on the stairs.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140418
 11.04.2017
This is:

You will be eaten if a new bowl is no longer a gift for you. Especially a couple. Potatoes, of course, resurrect in memory the macro-emoticons of INFINITY, but the bowl - sorry already.

If you like to cook, yes. And I would definitely prefer a flash drive for eleven gigs at the price of two cans or an external hard drive at all.

Go to the farm, surprise the prices of the cakes. At the price of two good can systemic simple assembly

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №140417
 11.04.2017
A colleague decided to play his wife. He turned on the notebook porn, made the sound louder, picked up the number of his wife and waiting for her response began to tickle and tickle in the tact of porn.

My wife is Alo, Alo Sereza.

And he is mmm, mmm, aaaa, oooo...

It seemed to him that his wife did not pay due attention to him, did not value him. He decided to artificially induce her jealousy. The guy, he spied his mistress, and the phone accidentally picked up. In one word. )

and short. After 15 minutes, they insisted on knocking on his door, knocking loudly and shouting "Open, police!"

The woman thought he was being tortured by the bandits and called 112.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №140416
 11.04.2017
Four years ago, I ordered my daughter as a gift "hemp-repeat". People in the office, seeing this case, wanted them too. The next day, the courier brought 15 of these hamsters to the office. decided to check. They put them all together on one table and put them on. Here someone said the phrase: “I went to x...!” Such a mess began...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №140415
 11.04.2017
From time to time, the doors of our roads are unlocked. The poor Korean brains of my blister react to our roads like a continuous car accident, and they open the doors so that the driver can be caught and rescued. Unfortunately, no one will save me and other drivers from these roads.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №140414
 11.04.2017
In general, long ago at home there is a couch, not young enough, 15 years of him. And life shattered him during that time. For a long time I wanted to throw him out, and now there was an opportunity, a comrade came to help. This sofa, by the way, is quite dirty, and all in wool - people do not use it for more than a year, but it is used by a cat. In addition, there is no upper part (in a folded state - the back of the couch).

We take it off, because the gates in the entrance are very narrow. Below we meet a grandmother (well as a grandmother: 55-60 years probably, marathons she no longer run, but the statue is not like - a typical guard of benches).

The further dialogue:

B: Oh guys, are you throwing out the couch?

I: Yes Yes

B: Can you bring it to me? I live in the neighboring entrance, 2 floors.

I explained to her that the couch was all dirty (although this is obvious in principle), sold in places, and there was no back. Nothing, he says Well, okay, we have no difference especially, at the distance that before the washing, that before it to drag, we suffered.

The grandmother runs into the room, shouting, “Wait, wait, kids! "Well, I think I decided to somehow symbolically thank you, I mentally prepare the phrase "Nothing needs mother, health and poor you."

And then she goes out and handed us... a barrel and a brush, and ticked her finger, saying, it’s for the couch you’re standing for.

The degree of my swelling approached the highest score 0_o

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №140413
 11.04.2017
The first, the second and the potatoes.

Guy, I'll reveal a secret to you: the only thing you're checking in this way is which girl wants to get married more.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140412
 11.04.2017
xxx: earlier about the end of the video said the inscription at the end "The end"
xxx: now - "Subscribe"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №140411
 11.04.2017
An old joke about gifts:
A wife complains to a friend: “My husband, a cattle, gave me a vacuum cleaner for my birthday. She decided to take revenge on him and gave him a gasoline for his birthday. So, this goat rejoiced like a child, just jumped to the ceiling.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140410
 11.04.2017
News of the day: Trump Jr. reminded that actor Samuel Jackson was going to South Africa, actress and singer Barbara Streisand - to Australia or Canada, and singer Cher even promised to fly to Jupiter. None of them have yet left the United States.

Bohemia is everywhere, neither of conscience nor of honour...we too are cosmopolitan...
Stiva: And singer Cher is still a cosmonaut...
The Wild Chimki: Space Pilot
SaSH2009: Write the cosmonaut correctly.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140409
 11.04.2017
Women’s forums are a separate circle of hell. A friend told me that from the servers, where space and woman are hosted, at night a snake whistling is heard and the smell of sulfur is spread throughout the hall!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140408
 11.04.2017
If spiders have caffeine disorders in coordination and spatial orientation, can coffee be used in a super-criminal plan against Peter Parker?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140407
 11.04.2017
ууу: from the man in the subway so smells my foam for the bath that you can close your eyes and imagine that I am lying in bubbles )))

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №140406
 11.04.2017
I woke up with someone breathing over my ear. I open my eyes, the sweetest Labrador dog stands. My parents remembered my dream 20 years ago when I was a child, but my parents couldn’t afford a dog because of the apartment and neighbors. And now that I live alone and in a spacious apartment, decided to make me such a gift

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140405
 11.04.2017
We periodically form a company of ducks-requeteurs in the park. They run after young children and pick up corn.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №140404
 11.04.2017
I have no soul with her.
You should not have anything to do with her.
You must stand by her.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №140403
 11.04.2017
> There are useful tips to give loved ones on the holidays.

Do you want a lifehack? Nothing for each other. And spontaneous gifts during the year, when you see a sticky thing or when a person needs something and wants to do something pleasant. It works in times better than showcase bonds.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna