bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №108055
 12.01.2015
You are all boring here. Life is beautiful and passes quickly. Do not waste it on nonsense.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108054
 12.01.2015
About the trees –

They are Russian people. They would rather mine the entire Russian forest massive than they would set up normal fences, not to mention the barracks. The dog needs to be fed, but who?? to
----------
For the Russian man it does not matter that he will be robbed again; it is more important for him that the thief will receive the merits the next time.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №108053
 12.01.2015
X: The marketing couple asked to come up with fun advertising from the life of the automotive industry. Would you help?
U: anything of the type: Deo has released a new comfortable luxury Deo Matiz version called "Deo GRAND Matiz".)))
z: I see the slogan phrase: now the luggage compartment is 1.5 liters more...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108052
 12.01.2015
You broadened my horizon.
Yyy: No, I just broke my own ))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108051
 12.01.2015
Again, you came to the page of some thief and have been looking at it for half an hour.
M: I didn’t even lick there!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108050
 12.01.2015
The main merit of a Russian man after 40 years is that he is alive!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №108049
 12.01.2015
The Prehistory.
One, very well-known, Russian bank decided to arrange me, apparently, a New Year's surprise and issued me a bill of 4000 rubles for the allegedly issued to me 3 years ago debit card, to which various services were connected, such as SMS notifications and others. For which these 4000 and raced over the past three years. The card was opened as a salary. At the same time, I live in the Volgograd region, and the firm where I allegedly worked was Moscow. Three years later, they finally recalled and started calling me about repaying the debt. Since I did not open any card, I went to the bank’s office in my city and demanded explanations. An employee of the bank made a request to the bank, without issuing it properly, and said that the response will have to wait 7-10 working days. During these 7-10 working days, I was named several times a day, and every time I told the staff the whole story that I did not issue a card, and, in general, I went to the bank office for clarifications, and now you have to wait 7-10 working days. Since it didn’t reassure them, and they still called me, I developed several strategies for myself to communicate with them, which I adhered to all these 8 days.
The history.
- Hello, this is the pre-trial debt recovery department of the bank... My name is... I can hear Valery...
It is me, I listen to you.
Please indicate your date of birth.
Why Why?
To identify you.
I confirmed it was me.
I need to make sure of that.
Do you think someone will talk for me?
I don’t know that you are you.
“Well, I’ll give you my date of birth if you give me the series and number of your passport.
Why Why?
- Well, then I will also know that you are exactly you, a bank employee, and not just a telephone scammer who got information about me from the stolen database.
Running in the phone.

- Hello, this is the pre-trial debt collection department of the bank...My name is...I can hear Valery...
Please repeat your name and surname.
Why Why?
- I will call the pre-trial debt recovery department of your bank and clarify whether you are really their employee?
Running in the phone.

- Hello, this is the pre-trial debt collection department of the bank...My name is...I can hear Valery...
Yes, it is me.
We have called you several times, but you refuse to talk to our staff.
I do not refuse to talk to them. I just explained to your employees that I don’t know what card it was about. So I went to the office of the bank in our city for clarifications. You have to wait 7-10 working days. So far I do not recognize any debts to your bank.
“That is, Valery, you refuse to pay those 4000 rubles?
- Until I get the documents on my own-handed opening of this account with my signature - yes!
These documents will be presented to you, I have no doubt about it.
When they are presented, we will talk.
- So you are a scammer, Valery, once you have used the services of the bank for three years, and now you do not want to pay for them!
“Can we clarify again – is our telephone conversation really recorded, as the respondent told us before we started our conversation?
“Yes, Valery, and you can’t say now that we haven’t warned you about possible consequences. And you will have to be held accountable for your fraudulent actions in all strictness, up to criminal liability.
- Then, I hope you have a court decision to recognize my actions as fraudulent. Otherwise, I will bring you to court for defamation, and as proof I will require a telephone record of this conversation.
Running in the phone.

P.S Eight days later, I received a response from the bank that there was an annoying misunderstanding. The bill was issued incorrectly and has now been cancelled. Accept our sincere apologies.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №108048
 12.01.2015
If your religion orders you to kill people, start with yourself.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108047
 12.01.2015
* I do not know
Here in Antony.
in the sea
I just heard him sing recently.
Waves of coastal waves
So it seemed.

The coastal bell.
When I was a child, what was Vermisel?? to
I don’t think it’s my mind, Vermisel is so Vermisel.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №108046
 12.01.2015
XXX: Glory to the Imperfection of Technology
xxx: I went under the shower, and the phone is waterproof, I think: oh, norm, you can not get out of the internet
xxx: Included water, sunrise, climbing by contact, hubra, 4pda, etc.
One drop: when a lot of drops of water falls on the screen, the touchscreen goes crazy and cannot correctly determine the press - you have to get out of the shower and wipe the screen with a towel.
Here is how I stand, again water accumulates on the screen, I raise my head over the curtain and accidentally see the clock.
XXX: It turns out that I have been washing for an hour and twenty minutes.
xxx: By internal sensations, the time has passed 10-15 minutes
xxx: It's scary to imagine what it would be like if the phone responded normally to the overflowing screen and didn't have to go out to wipe it.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108045
 12.01.2015
Rinat Salihov > cocoa is made from cocoa beans. Beans of vegetables. Sugar from cabbage. Beets are also vegetables. So chocolate is a vegetable xD and vegetables are useful)) and my 1.5 kilograms of chocolate I have already eaten =)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108044
 12.01.2015

to this:

We had a woman with a beautiful bust. Such appetizing hemispheres, splashing a hill out of the cut - do not take away the eyes! And here somehow we change clothes after work, and some disconnect with the underwear happened to her, she removed it... it turned out that it was just two long flat ribbons hanging really up to the belt. She wrecked them with roulette! So, right for you here, guys, they said - don't give the underwear - you risk getting them on the mouth.

The story is terrible and exciting. One unrelated, a underwear lady has the right to give only the one who sleeps with her, and he, you understand, will surely be aware of the problems with her breasts.
But if you just know a girl unwittingly present such a gift, then yes, there is a chance and a moustache.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №108043
 12.01.2015
Before the arrival of the guests, I put on the shelf books demonstrating my comprehensively developed personality: on self-development, programming, poetry of Yevtushenko, books in other languages. Inutile - all attracted "Wake up colour with a duck" 0+, in which pages change colour when wet.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108042
 12.01.2015
What is the problem with giving a certificate to a underwear store? And your money will be spent for the purpose, and the lady will pick up exactly what will fit her in all respects.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108041
 12.01.2015
Lucrecia: So if I had not dressed my warm coat green today on the occasion of the frost, then I would never know that this is, it turns out, a switch of the trendy color this season.
Lucrecia: The last time I was so surprised when I found out that the coffeeshop I’ve been wrapping in at work for the last ten years was a stylish youth cardigan.


[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108040
 12.01.2015
A: Uncle Scrooge comes to his store, and there is Smaug.
B: And who is who?
A: Look at the new year.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108039
 12.01.2015
Several centuries ago, the Namai people living in South Africa used especially intelligent pavians as shepherds of goats. They treated the work very responsibly, did not let the animals get away from the herd and warned about the danger in a timely manner, seeing predators. Sometimes the Pavian picked the largest goat and ran on it. This practice was also adopted by some European farmers who settled on these lands – the last case described in the press of the female pavian named Ala working on a farm in Namibia dates back to 1961.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108038
 12.01.2015
Some people like big breasts, others small. Those who don’t have an opinion think it’s big.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108037
 12.01.2015
Overcoming the paradox:

It has no analogues in the world and at the same time cheaper than foreign analogues.

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108036
 12.01.2015
With this foolish fashion of making software installers so that the user loads only the naked exe-shnik, and the rest of the resources pulled out of the network separately, I am working with this dumb yopta remember the time when the Dial-up was used.

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