bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140447
 12.04.2017
Layk: From the series "Got the country by news": "Ministry of Health plans to deprive unemployed medical policies of the OMS". That is, the logic: there is no work - you do not pay taxes - it is useless for the state - to treat you?

Health Ministry of Russia: on guard of natural selection!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №140446
 12.04.2017
Admin left a document on IP-ATS. Excerpts from:

The number (extensions)
100 : Number registered for the phone that is connected to the gateway to port 0/0
101 : Number registered for the phone that is connected to the gateway to port 0/1
102 : Number registered for the phone that is connected to the gateway to port 1/2
103 : Number registered for a phone that is connected to the gateway to port 0/3
0666: A number registered for a ritual. can be removed. His own hand did not rise.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140445
 12.04.2017
and poverty. Remember, long ago, in the 90s, we could and assemble, and repair, and do something of our own. But now one call is made and a specially trained person is called. Because there is money to pay him. These services are not so expensive.

This is yes...
There are people. People who like to do things with their hands
There are people who know how to do and thus better drink beer for a few hundred saved.
There are people who do not like strangers and do not want to let strangers into their homes, so they do everything themselves.
There are people who have the right tool bought at home for other needs and thus increase its profitability (and improve their skills).
There are people who want to be able to do everything with their own hands (in case of apocalypse).
But for you there is only one category: poverty. We did the repair with our own hands because I wanted it (for many reasons, none of which had anything to do with money). A poor man is a man who fears that if he saves on something, people will think he has no money for it.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №140444
 12.04.2017
After a concert of Russian rappers in Brooklyn, even Negroes admitted that rap is g@no!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140443
 12.04.2017
A vegetarian bitten by cows radically revised his views on nutrition

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140442
 12.04.2017
Do not listen to that shit! The bag of potatoes, which I prepared, he himself in one and a half months eaten (and not in dry form), for the money saved on food bought a normal gift of his ex, who sent him with the same bag - and went with her to tolerate!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140441
 12.04.2017
They sent me for one medical procedure, I googled the details to understand what they would do with me. In the section "Contraindications" there is a paragraph "Strong refusal of the patient to conduct the procedure". Somehow it relieved.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №140440
 12.04.2017
Xxx: My wife and I have had just a hell in the past few months at work. Go home to sleep. During this time, the dirt has grown to the worst.
Xxx: And then in the week, the master must come home and talk about the internet. I need to meet him. So, I dye all the things of my wife so that the master doesn't think that my wife is non-governmental. It is better to think that this is a single-band apartment.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №140439
 12.04.2017
> I could not immediately figure out how to remove it, I used to google "how to remove the lighthouse". The fifth link is "How to remove damage at home". I immediately started to think that it was easier to destroy than to remove a luster.

Well, of course, to remove the non-existent phenomenon is easier than the material luster. We found something to surprise.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №140438
 12.04.2017
stargrave2: I have been a Tor output node operator for many years. I was interrogated on many things committed through my IP in: the local police department, OSCE, the chief executive officer of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, “Department K”. They took absolutely all the iron (servers, laptops, hard drives, flash drives). But after explaining everything about Tor and how and why it works, it was “released.” I have not bothered for a year now.

SONCE: Tell me what are the coverings of your apartment made of that they can withstand the weight of your eggs?

#geektimes

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №140437
 12.04.2017
I have lived in Australia for quite a decent time, there are plenty of Russians here, but if possible, they try not to betray themselves again. Once returning home after work, I passed by local bombers sitting on the bench. Here one of them jumps up, gets his feet on the seat and begins to broadcast loudly in pure Russian:
The citizens! The end of the world is near! Aliens are already on the way and you will not have time to blink, as our planet will not be!
The girl who passes by is also in pure Russian:
The milk! There is no peace from you!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140436
 12.04.2017
Why do we not have a precedent law? It is simple, understandable and fair.
"Because then you, what good, will stray from the state three billion, and you, too, to let go, like Serdyukova and Vasilyeva?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140435
 12.04.2017
I watched the horror with a Martian creature.
There is a horror that the boss arranged a creature to work and everyone was cut in salary, because the creature works faster.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №140434
 12.04.2017
And the Lord saw that he had accidentally created Omsk, and he was afraid.
Then the Lord saw that he had created Omsk by mistake and was terrified.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140433
 12.04.2017
From the forum about StarCityZen the response of the administration of the forum:
I would like to quote Mayakovsky:
“Among the Georgians I am a Georgian, among the Russians I am a Russian,” he said.
This is the first time I am among the fools!"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №140432
 12.04.2017
I would not like to lie, but otherwise it will be difficult to fool you.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №140431
 12.04.2017
There were once two acquaintances with some kind of check-up at another super-supersecret airfield. At the end of the inspection, they went to the runway to smoke. They stand, smoke with a crowd of friends, watch the take-off of the bombers. And here, when this bomber itself is ripped from the strip, something suspiciously resembling an aircraft bomb, very small in size, falls from it and sharply rotates in their direction... In general, in a few fractions of a second, the whole crowd took a laying position in some cane and tried to dig into the ground. Only one gray like a moon, a burnt shelf remained standing with a proudly straight back, and he didn’t even throw a cigarette. When the bomb (and it was she) crashed almost to the colonel's feet, the rest began to escape from their shelters. And one young lieutenant asked, “Comrade Colonel, why didn’t you hide?” Polkan repaired his hairstyle, splashed a cigarette and replied, "Hull to hide, it is atomic."

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №140430
 12.04.2017
Thirty-six American Tomahawks who failed to reach the target were found in Dagestan with broken numbers.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №140429
 12.04.2017
The bag - Cartons
I don’t know why the guy is stupid. A bag of potatoes is a gift, I’m for. Meeting two is bad. Do not be so! No self-respecting girl will sit and wait until the gentleman chooses her for her beloved wife.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140428
 12.04.2017
I have to wear shoes in the colloquial.)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
zzz: Wear hope, get shoes.

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