bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №135870
 13.11.2016
I gave my wife a compliment. He said that she is wearing things very carefully and that the shirt we bought 4 years ago looks like new and she will be able to wear it for 10 years. She was upset.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135869
 13.11.2016
Electric bicycle discussions at Hicks
xxx> Well and more... At the speed of 80 on the bike on the track you will say a huge thank you to the well-set fork )
yyy> 80 on the track - it needs to have a horse 10. Three steel eggs.
If the track is straight, and the Uber car with a rider weighs a little, three horses are enough. Only these steel eggs need all 10)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №135868
 13.11.2016
Yandex contextual advertising offers a vacation in Kurshavel with children. I am a simple teacher. The children are really three. I don’t know where I could get stuck...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135867
 13.11.2016
Billgilbert: I remembered the old verse...

Tom is a pathologist.
He takes home work.
Because of Tom.
Lots of people at home.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135866
 13.11.2016
[13:25 04.02.2013] sergyu> I heard you have a son born! Congratulations to the man! Tell me how ))
[08:19 13.11.2016] Vasily_L> Later, there is no time
[08:21 13.11.2016] sergyu> This is what I noticed

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135865
 13.11.2016
XXX: How to contact a police officer?
ууу: "Dear police officer, will you be so kind to repair my door as soon as possible?"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №135864
 13.11.2016
The hairdresser. He enters and sits in the chair a man who looks like a stereotypical sitadmin from anecdotes – a dwarf, a nest on his head, a beard system “which has grown – it has grown” and a sweater purchased, probably, in the tenth grade. His answer to the question "How do we cut" I can’t hear the sound of a haircut.

Half an hour passes, the same person at the box will be recognized exclusively by the sweater - it is straightened, the beard is cut, the hairstyle is fine, and even the glasses are as if wiped out. He pays and leaves. When the door behind him closes, the barber says to the cashier:

He asked to make him look like the boss... He even showed a photo of the boss on the phone!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135863
 13.11.2016
I sit and wait for my wife next to the dressing room on the beach. A man is looking for his wife. I screamed to the side of the dressing room "Who are you here"? Someone cried out that she was not there. The man broke up "The cows broke out" and went on to look for them.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135862
 13.11.2016
by Castor Troy
Well, that’s the matter before... you come to the studio, you hair your clothes, you fix, you sit, you don’t move, then you wait a couple or three days, you come – xyevo came out.))))

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №135861
 13.11.2016
Because you have to say "give me a towel, please". I don’t have a wife, but a mother, but I say the same thing. Instead of direct appeal to "Help, please find something", begins with "I can't find something", "you haven't seen something" - of course, I answer "no, haven't seen it" and continue my business. Approximately the same story with circumventing hints "should the balcony disassemble", "do you not have plans for the balcony to roast?" - yes it's, say humanly "do it", I'll unlock the time, you can even without "please". A "not in plans li"-not in plans, this balcony doesn’t bother me with anything. I begin to suspect that the men from the anecdote about the thrown-out tree just likewise do not understand the wives, and not at all from the value.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135860
 13.11.2016
Our office was located in the north of Moscow. A typical situation - for the rental fee had to travel. A young man Eugene worked with us in the business development department. The management trusted him and this is why Evgeny was instructed in 2 weeks to find a new room under the office. While we packed the suitcases, Jennie was looking for it. And then a week later he says he found a room and went to see.

Two M / Z sarts, shower room, spacious cabinets with bedrooms, dining room / kitchen, rest area with a telephone and 2 sofas. Not an office, but a dream and the price is adequate. It was located in the opposite part of the city, M. Textilchiki.

Driving was a long-distance employee, most of them from the north of the city, but the office was really a fire! They moved in general.

As it later turned out, the room was 150 meters from Evgeny's house. A shitty ass.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135859
 13.11.2016
<...> Instead of direct appeal "help, please find something", begins "I can't find something", "you haven't seen something" - of course, I answer "no, haven't seen" and continue my business. <...>

My problem is that in the question I do not pay attention to pragmatism, only semantics.
Can you give an example?
I can.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №135858
 13.11.2016
Recently I learned that Veliky Novgorod was formerly called simply Novgorod. was renamed.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY It is time for Vladimir to be renamed Vladimir Vladimirovich.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135857
 13.11.2016
Have you ever filmed insects in flight?
yyy: Only "Night butterflies")

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №135856
 13.11.2016
Guest: Somehow a guy named Zhivotov cared for me, wanted to get married, and seriously said that we would continue the glorious family of Zhivotov with him, oh)))). Then we broke up, but remained friends, so when he got married, he wrote to me: I got married, go to her page, see, I went.))))))) Ekaterina Zhivotova (Puzikova), this is what I understand the farth of the girl)))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135855
 13.11.2016
Today again my faithful what was wrong in the spirit was... I hugged, I shake my head... She asks: what are you looking for there??? He said: reset sought...

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №135854
 13.11.2016
In the VK:
EEE: Girls, need advice))) gave a girlfriend on a corporate dress and coat to wear, she brought it to me and says:"I don't know what you will do about him, my husband and I learned yesterday, that we are expecting a second baby" and here I was persecuted....it's not possible pregnant things to wear, drink, and not the opposite!?)) I think I’m scratching.) mother of two children)

GGG: Well I don’t know I don’t know... sex helped me get pregnant, not drinks and dresses. Instead, I took off the dress to get pregnant.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135853
 13.11.2016
The Bees

More than a third of our food depends on pollination by bees.
Albert Einstein said, “When the bees are extinct, the human community will follow them in four years.”
More Than Honey (More Than Honey)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135852
 13.11.2016
In our city newspaper with vacancies, the job of a ritual agent was the most decent and highly paid.
No need for experience, no need for education, they will teach everything on the spot.
XHH: I have thought.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135851
 13.11.2016
The first million people earned are usually invested in pounds.

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