bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136832
 13.12.2016
Daddy, you are a pedant.
I: I never noticed anything like that.
You are a latent pedant.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №136831
 13.12.2016
There is no connection between the women's dresses and the weather at all. They wear, they are jealous.

No one is jealous. Why do you think that if someone doesn’t have something, they have to be jealous? I don't need a coat - it's heavy and uncomfortable! I have a mountain skiing - are you jealous?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №136830
 13.12.2016
Where is the rhythm?by :

The moment when the rhythm went well. The girl prescribed vaginal candles, went to put. She screams:
by Zhao! I lost her! I cannot touch. Where is she?
In the PI!@ and de!

" she" - " she"@&de!" - not the most successful rhythm.
A joke on the subject:
Lieutenant Rzhevsky told the cornet:
A clipper floats, a skipper on a clipper, a tripper on a skipper.
Cornet, coming to the barracks, decided to flash:
The Lord! I was told today by Lieutenant Rzhevsky's hallowed calambur...
In short, literally I don’t remember, but the meaning is this: The barge is floating, and
There is a syphilis!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136829
 13.12.2016
6 in the morning. Yoj decided to dig a hole near the heating pipe. He hardly rows the parquet, touching the steel pipe with his legs. I raised them all, shit.
P.S Neighbors from below as well.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136828
 13.12.2016
by 12.12.12
xxx: The owner of Technosila bought the network of Eldorado <link>
What did you buy for the new year?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136827
 13.12.2016
XXX: My dear, I am going. Walk around a turtle around the house.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136826
 13.12.2016
I left for business in the evening, the child stayed with my husband for 2 years. I go back and see the picture: a child lying in a bed, almost asleep, hugging his favorite toys. My husband sings quietly. I listened. National Anthem of the USSR of 1944.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №136825
 13.12.2016
xxx: the customer's comment came: "paint the coat in the shade of black"
YYY: Has your interior designer shaken in anticipation?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136824
 13.12.2016
Cherryne: He achieves the most, he has a photo album in the UK called "a little of me", one and a half thousand photos. I’m afraid to imagine what will happen when he puts it all out.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №136823
 13.12.2016
Flying from Russia with a connection in Rome. In Fiumicino, a border guard, rushing somewhere and already getting up from his seat to leave, almost without looking, stamped the entry stamp - as it turned out, on a Chinese visa. Having discovered it, I returned to ask if it was okay, but he was no longer there, there was another. The other took my passport, said there were no problems, checked the visa — or what they are checking there under some light — and stamped the second entry stamp on the same Chinese visa! When I told him that I already had one, he shrugged his hands and his stamp in the corner, where the circle of stars, crossed, and again said “no problem.” He has no problem, but I...? Now I worry about what this threatens me and what to do.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136822
 13.12.2016
Damn you fucking. In modern weather, you can not only turn jeans, in such weather, if you want, you can run in the morning in some trousers, rub snow instead of a morning shower, and swim down until the ice is finally up, if there is a place. So nothing special to the feet of your capital boy will be, you can for him so do not worry.

And on the subject:
Especially careful Jews do not circumcise, but turn.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №136821
 13.12.2016
XXX: Tan, throw it off, I have a new theory here.
YYY: is it anyway?
You know, I love cats, but I don’t like dogs.
I realized that I do not like dogs, because they are like me in character, and I hate these qualities in myself...to be bored by the owner, to rejoice that I have praised and played, I suffer from devotion...and I love cats, because they have a puppy, that you are lying in front of them, they will turn behind their own, and then they will also require to feed, warm up...but I don’t go anywhere, I’m a dog-man.
And behold, my beloved is a dog, although he is to all animals and kind, his cats are scornful. So - in cats he sees his features and they are competitors to him or also dislikes the resemblance.
Karoche, he loves me like a dog, and I love him like a dog of a master.
The theory: cat lovers are peaceful people and admire the independence of cats (and their sweet ones), dog lovers are determined people and admire loyalty, etc. The dogs of me. In order for a marriage to be happy, one cat and one dog are needed. Simply and meaningfully!
There are two dogs in the house, so what?
Then they fight for leadership (they are independent like cats), sometimes before divorce.
What if there are two cats?
Well, I didn’t think, probably a nice family.
I wondered why I divorced.
HHH: Because you were two dogs, why is the theory still working!! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №136820
 13.12.2016
here here :

It’s easy to get up at dawn. You just have to lie down so that you can see the sea. Or the mountains. This boosts.
YYY: Will the sea work?

In Vladivostok all the windows look out to the sea or the mountains (that is, the neighboring sopka).
And Nippon doesn’t help, unfortunately.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №136819
 13.12.2016
xxx: Mysterious your potency, the term did not understand how it works))

If only we could understand ourselves.
It’s like a female orgasm: you never know what will work.
But there are certain things that you should not do.
Hide and smoke is just a bad idea: blood flow and sensitivity immediately to herms in the bad sense of the word.
Although I had a friend, he managed with one hand to squeeze the chicken, with the other to pull the chicken, and with the third nephrite rod - to give happiness, joy and love, and all almost at the same time.
But this in the companion should initially be so much testosterone that even his eggs had eggs.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136818
 13.12.2016
"The FSB opened the banking cell of the Director of the Anti-Corruption Fund"

Xxx: Fighting corruption with the Anti-Corruption Fund.

The forest was sought.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136817
 13.12.2016
Aldmeris: What a salad I made on March 8th three years ago! The scar is still visible.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136816
 13.12.2016
And really, what did the trousers do? There are a lot of wild and terrible things in the world - the dumbell shape, leopard loins, hats with ears... Although not, ears - it's a puppy.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136815
 13.12.2016
Don’t be happy if women never divorced you for money, they just don’t take anything from you.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №136814
 13.12.2016
About extravagants, witches and healers.

This is a two-digit number years ago. in the Ural area. Tormented by the most severe catchy syndrome caused by the three-day communication with the general from the State Gortechnadzor, I listened to the advice of my own driver:

“The boss,” he says, “there is a grandmother in the village, who removes all sicknesses by imposing her hands. Nearly 50 kilometers. You and I are not a hood. And the grandmother is a celebrity in the whole Ural. They even go to her from abroad to be treated, from the village where Vanga lived.

I agreed to hopelessness. There is a shop in the village.

My grandmother’s house was strange. That is, not a peasant cottage, but a house in the village. The old. A hundred and a half years. Whether the hospital was before, or the school, or just a factory spokesperson lived. The door was opened by the same grandmother.

Precisely not a grandmother at all - a grandmother will not turn the tongue, but a tall and slim old lady with a hooked nose, all in a black dress to her feet. With a black collar and manches. As a child, I was represented by the old lady of the Bronze Bird. And this was also called Martha Akinfievna, which in Demidovsky places sounds appealing after sunset. invited into the house. I watched. Without asking, she poured water into a glass and gave it. It became easier.

And minutes after fifteen, under the shocked breath of the driver, told the whole history of the illness. My heart begins to joke. the pressure. And so on, and so on, quite detailed and correct. Herbs were cooked with different, well water, the decoction was cooled, powders of some were poured into the same glass. I didn’t drink immediately, I didn’t bother much. Do you not admire the use of mite of flying mice with twisted frog heads? We promised only by placing hands... But here, the driver just asked where she knew everything about us.

What do you know about Alcatraz? I also think of Newton. I have been in the district hospital for fifty years, of whom thirty are managers. Now health is not enough for work, I sit at home, sometimes help people. And all kinds of idiots like you, - then she nodded on the driver, - rumors spread about the healer's grandmother. Drink, don’t be afraid, it’s already me, there’s aspirin with ascorbic and soothing herbs.

I drank, yes

What about name paternity? When I drank, I asked a question.

You should have felt it somehow. Yeeh, an intelligent man, and you drink vodka in such amounts. Must be more restrained. And so I am Maria Afanasievna Nikitina. Without miracles and miracles.

I still stuck here. A good aunt. I could even offer a bowl. Three seas with a glove.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №136813
 13.12.2016
What does the RPC do?
Crosses indicate where to carry money.

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