bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №81441
 13.05.2013
X: And she (the chief) said that I have an unhappy look.
Y: She’s worried about you
X is yes. How to dismiss a man with such an unfortunate look
It’s like dismissing a cat.
X: Yes
Would you let go of the cat?
X: Yes
X: I would worry.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81440
 13.05.2013
My sister is reading a book of Scandinavian tales. and dreaming:
- Here I will grow up, open a nail design studio and name it "Naglfar"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №81439
 13.05.2013
Plfhjdf! Cjhb z ofc yt cvjue yfdthyjt? gjnjvexnj e vtyz rexf ltk b c ltymufvb yt jxtym uecnj/// Lfdfq vj;tn pfdnhf! pfdnhf z njxyj cvjue. Nt,t gjl[jlbn xfcjd d 8& z eufof.!Bkb tckb pfdnhf yt vj;tim nj njulf e;t yf ds[jlys[! (f tckb rnj yt gjktybkcz b gtht dtk 'nj yf yjhvfkmysq ntrcn nj uj yf gbdj b yt nthzqnt pltcm dhtvtyb///))

I translated where to go for beer.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №81438
 13.05.2013
on the internal forum of the company development of the topic of prohibition / permission of indoor plants at workplaces
Then tell me, please, some indoor plant that needs very little (or not at all) light.
WOW: The Prayer :)
ZZZ: The Accounting

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №81437
 13.05.2013
I do not learn by means of the method "Hello neighbors"
If in the middle of the night the cat scratches the door, I jump up and go to the door with a terrible thump, sharply open it and start to scratch on it, like a wounded bison. Two or three such nights, and the desire to get into the room disappears. He probably thinks there are wounded elephants at night.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №81436
 13.05.2013
The source code of the porn site
<label for="code"Your phone number: <br/><span class="drocher_number">

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №81435
 13.05.2013
The authors of the announcement:
- removal of girls in art films and television programs.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81434
 13.05.2013
to this:
— — —
Matrix - Release
I sincerely believe that there should be a portal from the Pushkin metro station in Moscow to the Pushkin metro station in St. Petersburg.
— — —

Metro station Pushkinskaya in Kharkov.

(With respect to Kharkov)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №81433
 13.05.2013
Nikita Mikhalkov filmed the film 'Bezrukov'. In the main role is the simple guy from the udmurt depths Gerard Depardieu.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81432
 13.05.2013
>>>...And there is some kind of nuclear physics, apparently: tooth-breaking mathematics, Feynman’s diagrams... Here are the stupid Ravshan and Jamsut.

>>>> > > > > > > > >> > > >> Remember Russia in the early 90s: the professors were sold with widebody at the subway! If you don’t know, ask the elders. In many Central Asian republics, the state of the economy is still not the best. Here are their docents going to trade widebody (and put tile) to us: they pay more than they have - and for trade, and more than for physics. Where to go!

And we are in the Lyceum, working in the dining room, a doctoral candidate from...Cystan. In 7 years he earned 2 houses, 3 apartments, and supports his wife's second business (and it's all in the homeland). He says that you still need to work a little bit to get home and do science without any material problems.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №81431
 13.05.2013
Prepod closes the notebook near the interactive board, goes to himself at the table, turns around, looks at the notebook:
Why did the laptop not turn off? Is the mouse lighting?
She has a muscular memory.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №81430
 13.05.2013
From Router:

I am surprised people.
Around the drug addicts, alkashi and biddle.
And they are all worried that somehow a lot of hipsters became.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №81429
 13.05.2013
xxx: fucking Monday, shit, mystical day
I slept like a cock.
Yesterday I didn’t drink or do anything heavy.
The feeling is that at 5 a.m. I drank a 10th bottle of beer.
xxx: finished loading the cars
xxx and went to sleep.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №81428
 13.05.2013
Since I bought a car, I stopped wearing heels (the pedal is uncomfortable to push), started to dress badly and look badly (no one will see in the car anyway) and weighed 8 kg because I became less walking :( what to do?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №81427
 13.05.2013
In the building "Rosatom" I was amused that at the entrance for employees, while the passage is recognized, the inscription "Wait...", and at the entrance for visitors - "Wait!". I suspect that at the entrance for the cleaners and loaders – "Wait, shit!and "

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №81426
 13.05.2013
In Novosibirsk snow has fallen.

Stayin: with New Year, Masha =))
What a new year I just woke up.
Look out the window and you will understand ;)
Fuck, I was sleeping.
Tagged with: xD

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №81425
 13.05.2013
The Habr:
The military can ask for anything. Although a proof that you are not a Genghis Khan, but legal claims from this will not become.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №81424
 13.05.2013
A rough home shugaring. Yes, there is such a word. Excerpt from a guide on this difficult discipline:
From the first time the sugar hair removal paste may not work, then you will get delicious sweets.
But humor is not that. I dropped this text to acquainted ladies - they complain that they have some syrup instead of sweets
3 hours of hysteria.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №81423
 13.05.2013
xxx: there is also said that the robot was collected from false materials
xxx: I would get it from cardboard and plastic bottles
xxx: and they had something under their hands was quite suitable... yeah... ready parts of the robot

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81422
 13.05.2013
Ohhhhhh And with me, there was history. In the first week of buying a car, during the trip, my rear wheel dropped, which I didn’t even notice. The good uncle on the lighthouse told me about it, I thanked him and went on the way. Arriving at the destination, I decided to call the nearest railway plant to make sure that they are not accepted by record (the first time they were asked for their services). We had this dialogue with them:
Can I come to you now? My wheel was down.
Yes of course.
Okay, I will now.
I'm going to put my phone on and I hear:
Oh girl, stand still. How did you go together?
Usually, I sit down and go.
It is not possible to ride on a lowered wheel.
I am completely confused:
Oh, and what to do now? Calling an evacuator?? to
At the end of the wire I hear a wild roar. I know you said something wrong. I laughed to explain the existence of the reserve)))
Oh well. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Ohhhhhh Don’t tell me, I’m still ashamed.

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