bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №142171
 13.06.2017
xxx - QA engineer

The younger daughter is trying to remember what my profession is called. "Mom, do you have a quala?"
YYY: With the voice of Drozov: and here we see a young kuala climbing the branches.
XXX: In Search of a New Bill
YYY: The most juicy bill

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №142170
 13.06.2017
If you take into account the size of the animal, the loudest creature on Earth is the squirrel insect. They live in the waters of Europe. Its size ranges from 1.5 to 15 mm, but the volume of its sounds is 99.2 dB (as in the back rows at a rock concert). Such loud sounds are produced during the coupling period. An interesting fact is that they create such a sound with the help of their genitals, passing them through the abdomen.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №142169
 13.06.2017
From the vacancy website:
"Content Manager
Responsibilities:Filling websites with content
Requirements: Medical certificate required"
Apparently not to accidentally bring the virus to the site during work)))

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №142168
 13.06.2017
yyy: "The choice of this topic is due to the influence of two factors."
This is the spirit in which everything should sound.
YYY: Well the norm then. Strong of course)
XX: When I watch a movie in Anglican, I think about it all day. When I write courses
xxx: full 24 hours after the completion of the writing process, the author communicates with the social environment (incl. The so-called "chancellery language", which does not allow for ambiguities and duality in the interpretation of conclusions.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №142167
 13.06.2017
Everything is called fashion. Previously, they just said - in the garden appliance clayed
Natasha: And here is master class, decoupage

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №142166
 13.06.2017
A acquaintance said:

We found a photographer, a group in contact, forks in the style of "a la fairy tale". The beauty is incredible, the processing is super, the characters are just from the pages of children's books.

The choice was obvious, recorded on the photo set.

I got the final photos - the usual photo correction and that's all. I asked the photographer why there is no such processing as in the group.

So I’ve been over those photos for a few hours, over each. It is for the portfolio!

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №142165
 13.06.2017
The case happened four years ago, in a regular Moscow trolley bus.
At the stop came a tired woman with bags and a noisy little boy. They were given one place, where the boy immediately entered. A grandmother was sitting in front of him. She looked at him long and tenderly, and then said:
How old are you?
and eight!
Eight years and a child.
A child with an offended mouth shouted:
I am not a child! I am a man!
and yes? Grandma was surprised. Men don’t sit when their mother stands. The man is a strong, mother’s protector.
After a short time of thought, the boy tears from his seat, and no one could convince him to sit back. This is how our elders approached children.)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №142164
 13.06.2017
When I was 5 years old, my parents often took me to family and friends’ birthdays. And after my baptist’s birthday, my parents went to visit her the next day, on my question, “Why does the baptist celebrate 2 days?” My dad said we’re going to bite. Since then, for me, the word “mocking” has become a continuation of the celebration the next day. And when in the kindergarten was graduate I was given the word, I said that I like the holiday very much and I hope that we all come to cheer the next day. All the teachers and parents were in shock, only the father was roaring.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №142163
 13.06.2017
Small office.There are girls working.My office is next to the toilet. Sometimes it seems to me that they are members of a secret order that fights to ensure that the toilet chair never gets cold.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №142162
 13.06.2017
The debt, self-dependent, immediately and quickly, until you finally arrived, did not re-born into a suicide and did not ruin the life of your daughter, go to a psychologist, fool! For the beginning. Maybe there is a psychotherapist. It helps, really. It is not a man to fight with demons, but a specialist. Or do you want to live this way for the rest of your life and your own child, being older, will hate you because you will project it all on her?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №142161
 13.06.2017
Adult working people are usually able to earn on a nursery or decent nursing home. Or they should work more.

Adult working people, soap, can love their grandmother very much and do not want to give her into the hands of other people. And there are adults working with children who also need a lot of money.
PS: And reasoning about it is worth more to work is now such a marker for underage?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №142160
 13.06.2017
Just think, if we just knew the benefits of personal and the Internet in advance, they could be reproduced in the 1950s. Primitive, like a now programable calculator, but working. The problem was only in the lack of understanding how cool it is, and the horse (with then-technology) price is beaten down once in 10 by some decisions, if it is purposefully to fight for them, rather than to make monsters for the calculation of space programs.
On the other hand, we might not have died at the age of 70. To make not even a clone, but just an immune-compatible fetus, you can now. It is possible to connect the spinal cord with an ENT transplant. The moral problems? The fetus does not understand that he is carried out to remove the brain, and then anesthesia and op, he is no longer there, and his body carries another head with another person; at what point and how does he suffer at the same time, if not to invent athral abominations? It’s primitive, but it’s better to live than to die with a perfectionist dream that one day you’ll be born.
The only problem is the lack of understanding how cool it is. After all, humanity is not yet familiar with relocating into a new body. As in the 1950s, it was not yet familiar with the Internet and the personal computerized workplace of each engineer.
Sometimes it is important to just want to. "And what, could it be?"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №142159
 13.06.2017
XXX: 100 grams of super glue? (with my grace in the process of using it)
XXX: The glued fingers are for the nubia! Go to a new level - glue your hands right along the body!

[ + 19 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142157
 13.06.2017
And where did the defenders of the "power" and other PGMs come from? They are not allowed on the internet at all. There is no grace here, born. Go ahead and collect the bottles in your carts.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №142156
 13.06.2017
> About "double" and others. I remember the story of Pushkin.

Young Alexander studied at the Lyceum. And they had a teacher named Trico.
Pushkin spoke to one of the one-kashniks, and they built this.
Upon entering the city from the liceum, it was necessary to register with the guard.
Pushkin said his name: "H". He has recorded.
One of them is "Dvako".
The teacher came and called himself "Tricko".
The guard whispered: "You’re mocking me, right?and "

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №142155
 13.06.2017
It is especially nice when everyone was against and you did.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №142154
 13.06.2017
The most interesting thing for me, of course, is the thoughts of other people. I can hardly remember my visit to a number of exotic places and the impressions of it. Now I repeat the thesis of Lieutenant Colonel Efimenko, his heavenly kingdom, which he heard more than 30 years ago. What is a good grandmother? He asked, and he answered, “Even if you cut her hair, put her solarium, and put her in a parachute from 1948, you’ll see that she’s a good grandmother.” With a good grandmother, much in this life becomes better than it really is. When I heard it for the first time it was funny, and years later it was no longer.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №142153
 13.06.2017
Patriarch Kirill considered 200 new temples in Moscow insufficient.
- We are still very behind the "Five", although we have overtaken the "Dixie".

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №142152
 13.06.2017
Neradence: Just I pulled out that fur ass from behind the couch where he’s stuck, as he got into the closet, pulled on him from the refrigerator, and now passed under the ceiling to the other side of the headset and pretends he can’t go down, so it has to be removed and taken on.
and ah. very credible. You might think, I don’t know, how easily you jump from the second floor into the window with the fearlessness of a ninja and get into a fight with a neighbor’s dog.
Cats are the most agile attenshvhoras that nature has just invented.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №142151
 13.06.2017
Adult working people with grandmothers do not live!
YYY: Do they give away to the elderly home?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna