This morning I go to the car park on the snow-cleaned road, and in Msk for two days it fell very even decent. On the sides respectively. Mother and daughter meet me: Mother on the road, and the daughter in blueberry pants and ducks on the roofs penetrates. Mother says to her:

Do you go on the roads when there is a normal road?

The answer was incredibly:

Because I can!

In a child's New Year's gift, candy is called "A woman's bite"

And there are more candy "Coffee Petya"

In one of the social networks:
All the men:
They want to fuck as many bodies as possible.
B. That bodies cease to be such prostitutes.
The first and only commentary:
B is a lie.

xxx: No, well, only the female can ><
YYY: What is she?
xxx: In the apartment, she sits in wool socks, under the cloth, with a heater - and chews the ice cream!

I went to refresh in memory the best quotes (according to rating).
The stories about the gap are confused. I put them back in order.

Have you heard the story of a guy who every time after having sex with his girlfriend put $1 in the coffin for a Christmas gift and you know what he gave her? The Burger!

Grandfather told me. He taught in his youth in our political school. There is another stream for the lecture. With strict walks, so almost everything. Grandfather lectures, nobody listens, someone is sleeping, someone is whispering. They can be understood: 8 o'clock in the evening, most after work, tired. Grandfather turns out the lights in the audience and says: guys who want to sleep sleep, you can listen to the rest. And continue the lecture.) It is winter on the street, so there is darkness in the audience. The most interesting thing is that when he turned on the light, nobody was sleeping, everyone was sitting and listening carefully))

I thought that if not Matt Damon, but Sean Bean were left on Mars, the film would be a tragedy.

I’m not the author, but:
No one owes anything to anyone - this is the starting point of a relationship. And then there are common affairs and the following of them are obligations and agreements.
— — —
You guys, everything remains the same. The whole feature of human relationships is precisely in the degree of sincerity. If sincere desires and emotions are lacking, people begin to replace them with a sense of duty. They are not happier from this. Agreement in such things as caring for each other, creating a cozy home, and so on – all this should be based on love and empathy. Obligations are only those stipulated by law. Children up to the age of 18 are kept there, joint income is shared in case of divorce, etc. There should be no more obligations. No matter how upset you are that your feelings are not respected, that they don’t care about you, that they don’t wash your dishes, that they don’t give you gifts and don’t want to have sex with you – no one owes you anything. Be offended, argue as you like, but do not scream about obligations, because they are not obligations. And the sooner people begin to realize this, the more chances they have for real happiness in life.

I bought a jacket. In the morning I go to the electric car, the first rows immediately start getting tickets and show me. Further on the car several people explode and sneeze into the neighboring car.

When my girlfriends complain about their unclean husbands, who throw out their socks or are unclear in food, I tell them about their ex-husband and they keep silent. My ex-husband came from work and first opened the closet with clothes and bedroom, if there was a smooth footer lying not perfectly or somehow wrong, then he threw all things on the floor and spoke: "Split and fold." Bedding was changed every day, food should only be cooked, if the second time the same everything, rubbish. Definitely the first second dessert, in sex he loved a long prelude, he touched and accentuated all my places, emphasized attention on all the grasshoppers, and if not God somewhere falling hair or it wasn’t perfectly smooth! After this review, I didn’t want anything. And so with every little thing, I still worked with him, he was a food technician, he was very appreciated at work, always cleanliness was in his workshops. I lived in constant tension, and if I cleaned my shoes, and if I have time to prepare food for his arrival, and if I have everything washed and smoothed, and if God does not give me where the shade, and suddenly the flowers did not wipe out, etc. When she got to the hospital due to nerves and overwork, she decided that she needed to divorce. I came to the chamber, noticed that I had crumbs and eyebrows on the shelf, and the makeup would not bother. I was silent, I had no strength to speak. Thank God the cleaner, who was washing the floor next to him, almost heated him when he noticed that the corner was not washed. Fuck, I have endured this for two years, now I write and amusingly, and before I cried from fatigue, foolish.

I went to school on the bus a couple of years ago. A lot of people. A grandmother came in and had this conversation with another grandmother standing next door:

What is this bus?

I do not know

Where are you going?

So... I walk...

The statistician drowned while crossing a river, the average depth of which was only 1 meter.

My brother is a manager and I am a nuclear physicist. Brother passes the automatic session for 5 prematurely - a reason for family pride. And I what? A medium good.

A friend in the shop service came a customer with a laptop.

As long as they took the book, the client gave them no;al brain. I bought it in this store two years ago. And of course the warranty ended, but he wanted a free repair. Hardly explained that the guarantee ended, but the precipitation of his cries he left.

They understand the book, and there is a small sticker on the motherboard, "Client Fool" printed on it. A little below the text, the pen is written "Completely agree, the service of Tyumensky Arsenal +"

The customer has a slow website, discussing what to offer to the customer
If the horse is slow, will we change the horse’s seat, or will we change the horse?
YYY: Could it be necessary to loose her legs, suddenly she is strained?
In my case, this horse has one leg cut off.
yyy: And the second is not of birth... and on the two remaining she crumbles...

by begemotik_bondi

I went to the training room yesterday. For the first time in 17 years. So many trainees invented during this time! I walked through the hall like on a tour.

This is a classic!

I live with a friend for a year, in my apartment (she is coming), for 27 years. Friends get married, relatives get married. I am nothing. Yesterday I sent a friend for a couple of days to my mother and sister in their rental apartment, and I think myself.

Do I need it at all? I do not complain about life myself, before the girls were in excess in general, and here a year already - on a dry patch. And so every day with the same girl, go anywhere - too with her. Go wherever – with her. It became so sad.

You know, I already made an offer to a woman. To my great surprise,
She agreed.
But when I imagined that she would live in my room, and every day...
Blinking in front of my eyes... There and here, there and here...
I could not withstand and fled to Leningrad.

I was a drunk guy :)
I liked this quote about Frantz. I lived with such unprepared, gradually tomatoes began to grow, but living together was convenient not only for him, but for me. And it didn’t stop me from meeting, communicating and going on dates. When the guy in the soul proposed to move from friendship to a relationship, I drove from unprepared to his unspeakable surprise and disappointment. The second immediately called married, immediately called his wife and was not embarrassed to talk about plans for the future. We did not rush, traveled, then the apartment, repair, car. And then the wedding, baby. But our plans and decisions were common. I knew what we were doing and what we were waiting for.
And the unprepared cried at the anger of my common acquaintance for the first three years without ceasing. For each version, you can write a book: in one I am a traitor, in the other I was deceived by a passenger, in the third we were separated by a wicked mother. But in everything I had to realize, regret and come back.

You like the men of the traditional model of behavior - cafes / flowers / gifts. In principle, there is nothing wrong with it. It is bad that you forget that in the same traditional model a man does nothing at home, he has already done his male job - led the woman to the cave, then her business.

Such men themselves want to go to a female cave and no hell there to do.
And with the coffee flowers you wrapped up.
for the cake with the condensed complaint is: and the breasts small and the ass cold